Crocodile Hunter
G'day mate, welcome to this week's episode of the Crocodile Hunter. Today we're going into a fierce habitat from which few men have ever returned unscathed. We'll be exploring the Canadian Urban Wilderness, looking for that fierce hunter herself â “ the Cougar (`ku:-ga
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Now these Cougars aren't your usual big cat. These Cougars are man-eaters, they are. And they hunt prey that often thinks it's the predator, but not in Cougar country, mate.
Now, as we enter the Cougar's hunting grounds, here in Kingston known as the Grizzly Grill (note the predatorial label assigned to this urban wilderness area), we have to be very careful, because they'll strike without warning, sometimes mesmerizing their intended prey with a piercing glance that makes the loins weak, or by the twitching of muscles beneath their glossy coats that completely unhinges their prey and makes escape impossible.
The Cougar's attack is nearly always lethal, once they've sunk teeth or claws into a chosen victim it's all over. The end may come soon, or they may make the prey linger in a seemingly endless round of catch and release. It's a little like you or I playing a trout you might think, but in this hunt every victim ends up in a Cougar's creel.
You might be able to avoid a Cougar attack by never meeting her eyes, but the only sure way to be safe is to stay at home behind locked doors. Occasionally, a Cougar's attack can be successfully interrupted by the victim's friends but as often the Cougars appear in packs and then each poor sod can be cut from the herd and taken down.
Watch as I approach this wary Cougar. She's attracted to my pheromone trail but the bright lights of the camera make her shy away. Now watch her reaction as I tempt her with a beer and flex my pecs at her ... NO ... NO! ... AAAAAGH! ................ help me.