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Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

  • Thread starter Thread starter DnA
  • Start date Start date
my dad would make a joke everyonce in a while...

hed say
" why is the human ass crack vertical instead of horizontal? Because when you go down a slide it would sound like this (blablablablabla)"
 
camochick said:
dont let the door hit you in the *** on the way out" >:D

That's funny, thats exactly what my great-uncle said to his ex-girlfriend when he dumped her.  The really funny part is that she was from Slovakia, and she didn't quite get it, so he had to explain it to her!
 
Hi,

Heard in 1957 during our first week of recruit training(from the platoon Sgt).

"Remember this people - you have NO human rights here, because you are NOT considered to be humans".

At least he referred to us as people. I was called much worse in my career.    :)
 
Everytime i did something wrong my mother would say "just wait till you have kids of your own" i think it was a curse cause now i have a 2 year old  ::)


JANE
 
comming from my bests friends dad

"there are two types of people in this world, those who DO and those who DO NOT. (Yelling at his wife) Honey there is someone at the door!" :)

 
Slogan: "Down with Pants, Up with Kilts."  >:D

A lot more...appealling...at high school than in the army... ;)
 
"You are Not Paid to think"
" Do as I say not as I do"

Oh yeah and as a young private in my first few days in Petawawa....." Go to the CQ and get me a roll of contour line" Good thing I had some experience in map reading!  Oh yeah the last one......Buddy of mine pulled this one on a private late last year at the ranges here....." Go get the Brass Magnet will ya"
 
GIJANE said:
Everytime i did something wrong my mother would say "just wait till you have kids of your own" i think it was a curse cause now i have a 2 year old   ::)


JANE

my mom always says to me "i hope u have a kid just like you someday" now after readin ur post i think its gonna happen :(
 
After hitting the ditch with my mom's car and walking home to get my dad to help me out, he said, "There are 2 types of people those that have hit the ditch and those that will hit the ditch." ;) It made me feel better at the time.
 
Now that I have three kids (one teen), not only do I sound like my Dad, it feels good to sound like him.  I guess he was smarter than I gave him credit for at the time....
 
            When I was 20 I was in the Reserves for a short period about a year I had Sergeant always used to say "Your Job is not do an wonder why but to do and die "    It's been sound for along time but still a classic .
 
If it's not specifically forbidden it's allowed.

Funny that one seems to get me into the most trouble...used to... I'm much more responsible nowadays ;)
 
karl28 said:
            When I was 20 I was in the Reserves for a short period about a year I had Sergeant always used to say "Your Job is not do an wonder why but to do and die "    It's been sound for along time but still a classic .

It's been around since the Crimean war, penned by Alfred Lord Tennyson after the Battle of Balaclava:

The Charge of the Light Brigade
Half a league, half a league,
     Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
     Rode the six hundred.
`Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!' he said:
Into the valley of Death
     Rode the six hundred.

`Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
    Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:

Into the valley of Death
    Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
    Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
    Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
    All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke
    Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
    Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
    Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
    Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
    All the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
    Noble six hundred!

-Lord Tennyson
 
It's always easier to ask forgiveness then permission...

And Karl, it's not our job to die for our country. It's our job to make the enemy die for their's.
 
I was a VERY junior PRes Cpl on work-up training for ROTO 7, and my Reg F Amb Team/Coy Medic partner and supervising MCpl asked me to make a decision on some matter...

I said, "Why are you asking me? You're the one with the leaf!"

"What?  That?  That's not a leaf!" says he pointing to the rank on his arm.

"Then what is it?" I query.

"That's the scar from my surgery!"

"What surgery?"

"It's from when I got my spine removed in Gagetown!"

Ahhhh, God bless the Newfie Reality Check.  Now that I'm a Snr MCpl, and have a copy of the Principles of Leadership in front of me - it's even funnier.

All for now...
 
The three most memorable quotes from my time in ranks are as follows:
Mcpl Koskinen to recruit private during parade inspection"Are you watching me private, do you find me attractive?"  For the record, this was a favorite of several of our (male and average female NCO's), but Mcpl Koskinen was an extremely attractive blond, the paralyzed private stammered out "A stone fox master-corporal"  after the entire parade square collapsed in laughter, we did many, many pushups.

While piling out of a collection of taxis returning to base after a hard post exercise night on the town, one of my fellow signalman found himself face to face with an equally inebriated Captain(in civvies) who slurred out "Salute me, I'm an officer" to which Miles replied "eat me, I'm a cookie".

During one frustrating round of instruction with one of our less mathematically inclined soldiers our course NCO instructed him upon his return to barracks to "Write a big thank you to your mother, who got a good look at you in the hospital, but took you home anyway".
 
conversation between a sgt and a course candidate.
sgt=pte.bloggins bend over and put your head between your legs
bloggins bends over
sgt=now stand up and make a pop
bloggins= (stands up) Pop!
sgt= that's the sound of your head coming outta your ass, lets keep it that way!

 
Beautiful starry night on a defensive position, on the top of a sandy hill. Every one is relaxed but vigilant.  C2 guards the goat trail on backside of hill.  The sound of the C2 breaks the serenity, emptying a mag, then the challenge "Who went there?"

This from the lighter side of Shilo.
 
Written by a MCpl on a QL2 Crse report circa 1994:

"Solider *** should be employed as a figure 11 target on a small arms range"

Crse commander made him remove it.
 
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