- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 260
While lying under a LSVW on my DrvWhl. "and remember, if your nipples get dirty, just grease them up" ;D
O
oneill
Guest
Sgt O`Neill at ATR(p) UK
Son you are drawing wages under false pretenses.
Hay if you take those ear phones out you might forget when to breath in and out?
Look mum I'm the only one in step.
When god was giving out brains, you thought he said trains, and asked for a slow one?
son Ive played rugby for thirty years, what made you so ugly?
Tomorrow you will master this task, but then again tomorrow never comes.
Enthusiasm, Guts, Determinationyou, are all the things you need to complete this course, and unfortunately. you have none.
Death is Gods way of saying you have FAILED.
If you are looking for sympathy, You will find it in between. Shit and syphilis.
The last time i saw anything that ugly. it had 2 Heads.
Son you are drawing wages under false pretenses.
Hay if you take those ear phones out you might forget when to breath in and out?
Look mum I'm the only one in step.
When god was giving out brains, you thought he said trains, and asked for a slow one?
son Ive played rugby for thirty years, what made you so ugly?
Tomorrow you will master this task, but then again tomorrow never comes.
Enthusiasm, Guts, Determinationyou, are all the things you need to complete this course, and unfortunately. you have none.
Death is Gods way of saying you have FAILED.
If you are looking for sympathy, You will find it in between. Shit and syphilis.
The last time i saw anything that ugly. it had 2 Heads.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
OK Helmet on...check
Cam paint applied...check
In the land before yesterday and SHARP a young Cpl (me) was practicing a change of command parade under the tutelage of a certain CSM. The practice was not going well according to this ex regular force Snr NCO and he was becoming more frustrated by the minute.
Then all of a sudden he yelled "STOP!"
We all froze as would be expected. He covered the distance between his position and the first rank in about two or three steps. (He was over 6' 5'') and halted in front of the Pte beside me so that there was about two inches between them.
In a forced whisper he told the young troop "If you don't stop wiggling around like a rubber Fu*k Doll I am going to treat you like a rubber F*cK Doll"
The rest of the practice went well.
More to follow over
Cam paint applied...check
In the land before yesterday and SHARP a young Cpl (me) was practicing a change of command parade under the tutelage of a certain CSM. The practice was not going well according to this ex regular force Snr NCO and he was becoming more frustrated by the minute.
Then all of a sudden he yelled "STOP!"
We all froze as would be expected. He covered the distance between his position and the first rank in about two or three steps. (He was over 6' 5'') and halted in front of the Pte beside me so that there was about two inches between them.
In a forced whisper he told the young troop "If you don't stop wiggling around like a rubber Fu*k Doll I am going to treat you like a rubber F*cK Doll"
The rest of the practice went well.
More to follow over
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
OK, as RN PRN mentioned in the "War Stories" thread, I had a stellar, albeit "unique" Sect Comd on my QL2. And, many of his quotes are memorable. One day, while marching back fr the Pde Square to Tent City in WATC Wainwright, he said:
"Press down on your thumbs! Bends out of the elbows! Chests out! Necks back in your collars! Look up, look proud! When you go home your mom and dad won't recognize you when you say, 'Mom, pass the f***ing potatoes!'"
Or, a member of the FGH a good friend from both my QL2 and JLC/JNCO in WATC, was one of the first unfortunate souls on our JLC to march the crse back to shacks from the classroom. As he corrected, the DS corrected him, mostly about volume, but once, my buddy's voice cracked...
DS: Cpl *******, do you wear women's underwear?
and without missing step, with nary a pause, quick like mercury sliding down a lightning bolt came the reply
Cpl *******: Not while on course, Sgt!
tlm.
"Press down on your thumbs! Bends out of the elbows! Chests out! Necks back in your collars! Look up, look proud! When you go home your mom and dad won't recognize you when you say, 'Mom, pass the f***ing potatoes!'"
Or, a member of the FGH a good friend from both my QL2 and JLC/JNCO in WATC, was one of the first unfortunate souls on our JLC to march the crse back to shacks from the classroom. As he corrected, the DS corrected him, mostly about volume, but once, my buddy's voice cracked...
DS: Cpl *******, do you wear women's underwear?
and without missing step, with nary a pause, quick like mercury sliding down a lightning bolt came the reply
Cpl *******: Not while on course, Sgt!
tlm.
- Reaction score
- 6,485
- Points
- 1,360
"All he gets is boots and uppercuts"
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Unfortunately these famous one liners are a thing of the past(atleast in the regs), instructors now a days face severe reprimands if they refer to a persons race,sexual preference or even so much as to use a swear word in a joking context.The instructors actually are at the mercy of the recruits because typically if a recruit says they were offended by something said by an instructor, that generates an investigation immediately.Atleast we have the senile RSM stories left to tell. ;D
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 410
SHELLDRAKE!! said:
What a way to train a military...And I'll tell you what. The reputation of the Cdn Forces as a well-trained army is going to become a thing of the past if this PC garbage keeps up!
Does anyone else see anything wrong with that?
A very sore point with me so I'll rant away. This PC crap has gone way too far. It's very unfortunate. It's gotten to the point where at times I have been a part of or have witnessed incidents where people are having to be so hyper vigilant of what they say that it makes it difficult to concentrate on the job at hand. Much of the light hearted aspects and/or teasing has disappeared from the workplace. (p.s. this is in a civilian environment). As usual however, it's generally a few people who ruin it for many. Lighten up! There's my two cents worth.
merlane
merlane
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Imagine platoon / company of troops who really ****ed up formed up on the parade square.
CSM halts in front of the body of troops, starts a devilish grin, holds out left hand like he is feeling for rain drops, and says:
"Forecast calls for pain troops. Forecast calls for pain..."
CSM halts in front of the body of troops, starts a devilish grin, holds out left hand like he is feeling for rain drops, and says:
"Forecast calls for pain troops. Forecast calls for pain..."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 60
I don't remember where i heard it first, but when I saw a formation marching down the sidewalk, I recently had the opportunity to use:
"Get back on the road! Sidewalks are for pedestrians!"
Through
"Get back on the road! Sidewalks are for pedestrians!"
Through
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Words of command are lost on brand-new, stepped off the bus 5 minutes ago recruits. I heard a Patricia Sgt say this to an AC/NC mob on the move in '00 here at WATC:
"Listen closely troops, here it comes...Hippity hop, mob STOP!"
They managed to sort of stop together.
"Listen closely troops, here it comes...Hippity hop, mob STOP!"
They managed to sort of stop together.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
At a remebrance day ceremony, the whole platoon is at attention in the utmost of silence, WO is in front back on to the troop facing the epitaph, a command is barked and the platoon stands at ease! The WO turns and is the colour of a rare steak with anger, turns out the "command" was a dog barking ;D.
On QL2, you f*ckers better move with a sense of urgency, all I want to see are elbows and a$$holes going down range.
Also on QL2, a Pte who eventually dropped off the course: We were doing evening cleaning, getting ready for the morning inspection when the DS comes roaring into our barracks screaming to get at attention in front of our bunks. Said privates bunk is directly across from mine. While getting screamed at like B*tches and standing ramrod straight out of Pte's fly is sticking a pink J cloth that he had stuffed there in haste to stand at attention. I actually cried from laughing and when the DS found out what I was cracking over left the barracks rolling, not to return until the next morning.
On QL2, you f*ckers better move with a sense of urgency, all I want to see are elbows and a$$holes going down range.
Also on QL2, a Pte who eventually dropped off the course: We were doing evening cleaning, getting ready for the morning inspection when the DS comes roaring into our barracks screaming to get at attention in front of our bunks. Said privates bunk is directly across from mine. While getting screamed at like B*tches and standing ramrod straight out of Pte's fly is sticking a pink J cloth that he had stuffed there in haste to stand at attention. I actually cried from laughing and when the DS found out what I was cracking over left the barracks rolling, not to return until the next morning.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
First forming up outside in BIQ. Marching NCO:
"For all of you who don't know me, I am MCpl *****. I will tell you now, I swear a lot. So, if it bothers you come to attention, fall out, come up to me and say 'MCpl, I have a problem with your swearing'. I'll then tell you to f*** off and get back in ranks"
During inspection, guy across from me had a tornado of a civy locker and it happened to be a civy locker inspection. Section Cmdr:
J**** C****, _<name>_, what the hell happened in here? Let me do you a favor a save the only thing still intact" (he then uses his pay stick to extract the bottle of liquid Tide from the locker and put it on the recruit's bed)
I installing some neon lights in my civy locker to aide in ilumination when I came back on the weekends. When found, the Sgt said my locker "looks like a Croatian Discoteche"
During course officer's lecture on regimental history, the pop question of 'who is the founder of the regiment?' was asked and then he chose someone in the class at random. After some humming and hawing on part of the recruit, the officer piped up: "Rhymes with Hamilton Gault" Now whenever I ask someone a question and am too much in a hurry to wait for the answer, I'll add "rhymes with <correct answer>"
When marching to lunch, the (same) Mcpl saw a Mo coming up to the MIR while he was on his PLQ course. The speech we got (while approaching or right beside the guy was): Look at him, boys. That is a face of pain. He must be hurting real bad - maybe a twisted ankle, or sore foot. That is the sort of soldier you should be, boys. I wonder if his wife brags about him being in the army. Does she get together with her friends and state 'My husband is in the army. He drives a bus for a living' (no offense meant to Mo's or Busdrivers, but it was ammusing nonetheless)
and though it was said before, during a C9 lesson we received the fire order: Rang 300m, school bus full of taliban children. On your own time, fire.
My single ruble
-Spooks
(Remarks with overt sexually connotations removed by Moderator)
"For all of you who don't know me, I am MCpl *****. I will tell you now, I swear a lot. So, if it bothers you come to attention, fall out, come up to me and say 'MCpl, I have a problem with your swearing'. I'll then tell you to f*** off and get back in ranks"
During inspection, guy across from me had a tornado of a civy locker and it happened to be a civy locker inspection. Section Cmdr:
J**** C****, _<name>_, what the hell happened in here? Let me do you a favor a save the only thing still intact" (he then uses his pay stick to extract the bottle of liquid Tide from the locker and put it on the recruit's bed)
I installing some neon lights in my civy locker to aide in ilumination when I came back on the weekends. When found, the Sgt said my locker "looks like a Croatian Discoteche"
During course officer's lecture on regimental history, the pop question of 'who is the founder of the regiment?' was asked and then he chose someone in the class at random. After some humming and hawing on part of the recruit, the officer piped up: "Rhymes with Hamilton Gault" Now whenever I ask someone a question and am too much in a hurry to wait for the answer, I'll add "rhymes with <correct answer>"
When marching to lunch, the (same) Mcpl saw a Mo coming up to the MIR while he was on his PLQ course. The speech we got (while approaching or right beside the guy was): Look at him, boys. That is a face of pain. He must be hurting real bad - maybe a twisted ankle, or sore foot. That is the sort of soldier you should be, boys. I wonder if his wife brags about him being in the army. Does she get together with her friends and state 'My husband is in the army. He drives a bus for a living' (no offense meant to Mo's or Busdrivers, but it was ammusing nonetheless)
and though it was said before, during a C9 lesson we received the fire order: Rang 300m, school bus full of taliban children. On your own time, fire.
My single ruble
-Spooks
(Remarks with overt sexually connotations removed by Moderator)
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 60
I worked for a Sgt who once said "I was in Baghdad, when you were in your Dad's bag!!!"
He also had names for some of the different trades, like Egg Welder (Cook), Cloud Clerk (Met Tech). He was quite the character, but an excellent Supervisor.
Cheers!
ELP441 (formerly 011)
He also had names for some of the different trades, like Egg Welder (Cook), Cloud Clerk (Met Tech). He was quite the character, but an excellent Supervisor.
Cheers!
ELP441 (formerly 011)
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
There was a 22e Sgt in Chilliwack in 1989 whom I overheard tell his platoon "You peoples think that I know F*** nothing. But let me tell you, I know f***all."
Then of course there was the franco WO instructing first aid and made up words that he did not know. During CPR he instructed us to give "insfillations" (breaths) and "russifications" (chest compressions).
Then of course there was the franco WO instructing first aid and made up words that he did not know. During CPR he instructed us to give "insfillations" (breaths) and "russifications" (chest compressions).
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 230
One of our more colourful WO's during basic drill was heard to remark after a really shaky platoon halt
"By Christ if I hear that Polish machinegun one more F***ing time, I'm going to return fire!"
"By Christ if I hear that Polish machinegun one more F***ing time, I'm going to return fire!"
