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Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

  • Thread starter Thread starter DnA
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Quote from WO Ron MacPhail (PPCLI) during a drill lesson - "You people better get it together, or I‘ll you all running laps around the parade square, til you fall thru your a_sses and hang yourselves".

Try keeping a straight face after that! Needless to say, we ran a few laps around the parade square.

Cheers,

Wes
 
quote from WO P.O. Judge (PPCLI), again on the parade square, during a drill lesson. Someone let out a giant fart in the front rank, and P.O. turned around and said "put that back". Again try keeping a straight face.

Those were sure the good old days.


Cheers,

Wes
 
Inspection one morning during JLC- MCpl walks in "Christ, Cpl Smith, you‘re sweating like a whore in church." MCpl looks in Smith‘s locker "and your uniform‘s all wrinkled. My God! You slept in one uniform and showered in the other!"
 
My father (6ft tall) was a brand new OCdt during his first week of basic. The inspecting Sgt (5ft tall) gets right close and stares straight up dad‘s nostrils and says "You sir, are a grubby little man!"

Needless to say, there were pushups until the laughter subsided.
 
An urban legend handed down from one generation to another ...

In Gagetown a RESO platoon was formed up.
For some reason, they started snickering.
The non-anglophone WO became incensed, and started shouting at the candidates:
"... You all tink you‘re so smart, just because you go to university. Well, let me tell YOU some-ting: I gots two sons in university, and you know what? They know fk nothing! Me, I know ... [are you ready ... ?] ...

I know fk all!!!!"

The platoon dissolved into gales of laughter ...
 
Sgt on my 3s at CFSCE... we were haveing cadets in the same shacks as us.. don‘t ask my to explain WHY... They were just there... he walks into the classroom, goes to the white board and writes: "CADETS = JAIL", looks at us "Any questions? No? good" and walks out...
 
PPCLI WO instructing drill to a Platoon of Female OCdts in Shilo:

"This next drill movement I‘m going to teach you, you will all get wrong...and how do I know? .....I‘ve got a crystal ball...." One giggle, two, three, then whole second rank, then whole platoon, followed by:

"Get off my parade square....five minute break!"
 
Young officer was teaching a class on theory for the Eryx missle. He got a little frustrated trying to answer a question and said: "It‘s not rocket science!"

Cpl puts up his hand and says: "But sir, it is."

Officer left class, never to return.
 
Young officer was teaching a class on theory for the Eryx missle. He got a little frustrated trying to answer a question and said: "It‘s not rocket science!"
Click to expand...
When a former airborne sgt on my basic used that line during Carl G ammo lectures, I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut ;)
 
An Australian female recruit at Kapooka who fell off a 2 metre fence with rifle and webbing during her attempt at an obstical course, smashed her teeth (splitting them). As she stood up with tears as big as horse turds, the DS said ‘crikey you look like bloody Daracula‘.

I guess you had to be there. I wasnt but heard all about it.

Cheers,

Wes
 
Said by a MCpl upon finding a candidate drunk, and passed out in the shacks:
"I drink. I drink a lot. but I never pass out, and I never puke because that is a waste of time"
 
Hey Little, the Army aint 9th grade! The last time I heard a saying like that was off of Gomer Pyle!

No matter who one is or his/her preferance, if they can‘t take a joke, they should be working at McDonalds or something similar.

Politically correctiveness is the LANGUAGE of Cowards!

Sure we have to have manners here, and thats expected, but it will be a cold day in **** if we all become politically correct.

Cheers,

Wes
 
I‘ve just been reminded of an incident at Farnham, near Montreal ...

A subbie from the Black Watch had ingested a little too much anti-freeze ... and said:

"Lead me away from here. I want to puke with dignity."
 
Anti-freeze=slang for alcohol.

MP Urban Legend, usually told along the lines of a young MP receiving a polite reprimand for disregarding protocol from a non-MP who is of higher rank, followed by the following as a rebuttal:

"Sir, don‘t confuse your rank with my authority..."
 
Most memorable quote from my BOTC:

One million sperm and your the one that won!!!
 
Things you have been told over the years.

I was thinking it would be nice to share some little quotes or sayings we have heard over the years.

I'll get the ball going.

This coming from a friend who just got engaged. ;D
I hope I have a son, its less stress for me. With a daughter I would have to worry about hundreds of Dicks out there and with a son I only have to worry about one.

My dad
Don't assume anything you just end up making an A*S out of 'U' and ME!
 
Don't fry bacon in the nude!

seriously, its not as fun as it sounds  Grin
Click to expand...

Why do you have personal experience? ^-^

I guess I'm breaking an old saying:

"No posting stupid posts"

(I'm not saying this is a stupid post, just that they saying should be made the first commandment of this site)

 
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