N
nex
Guest
ok, Sgt on our course brought the course senior up to the middle of the parade square and started his screaming at us. Then turns around and tells him to bend over. the turns to the rest of us and says:
Do you LOVE your course senior?
Do you?
Cause you just ****ED him this inspection like you loved him.
I favour :
mst cpl: Raise your right hand.
mst cpl: no private, your other right hand.
or the sgt when we had our NBC training and he was teaching about what to do when a nuke goes off.
If you see a big mushroom cloud just over the hill, grab the nearest person and have sex with them, kill the little old lady beside you and kiss your *** goodbye.
He‘s also very fond of calling us Dirty Monkeys.. "WEAR YOUR SHOWER THONGS SO YOU DON‘T GET THE PISS OF THE LAST DIRTY MONKEY THAT WAS IN THE SHOWER ON YOUR FEET" .. heh.
Do you LOVE your course senior?
Do you?
Cause you just ****ED him this inspection like you loved him.
I favour :
mst cpl: Raise your right hand.
mst cpl: no private, your other right hand.
or the sgt when we had our NBC training and he was teaching about what to do when a nuke goes off.
If you see a big mushroom cloud just over the hill, grab the nearest person and have sex with them, kill the little old lady beside you and kiss your *** goodbye.
He‘s also very fond of calling us Dirty Monkeys.. "WEAR YOUR SHOWER THONGS SO YOU DON‘T GET THE PISS OF THE LAST DIRTY MONKEY THAT WAS IN THE SHOWER ON YOUR FEET" .. heh.
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 210
one that I like to use. heard it from an argyle.
when referring to a problem that is not his own.
"Not my Monkey, Not my Zoo."
when referring to a problem that is not his own.
"Not my Monkey, Not my Zoo."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 410
Or being in the army is like p|ssing in a wetsuit; you get a warm tingly feeling all over, but no one f$%ing notices.
D
DP
Guest
You move slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter!
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing that privilege!
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing that privilege!
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 210
ugh... i hate when i misspell it.. sorry guys. Argyll...Originally posted by Lexi:
[qb]Just pointing it out, it‘s "Argyll"
Guess you hang around at the James Street Armoury alot..
[/qb]
and no i work down at CFRB Hamilton/ HMCS Star
23 Svc Bn.
I just needed to give credit where credit is due..
L
L/MCpl_Argyll_ Kurrgan
Guest
There is no "I" in team. But there sure as **** is one in Quit. And there is a "U" in there too if you want to come with me.
I little mood lightener from Pte Reaume (A&SH of C (PL)) to raise morale on a crappy FTX.
I little mood lightener from Pte Reaume (A&SH of C (PL)) to raise morale on a crappy FTX.
T
tmbluesbflat
Guest
"one never knows, do one?" Fats Waller
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Dominas, you are partly right! It WAS Rowdy Roddy Piper. But the movie was "They Live", a horrible 80‘s (1988 to be exact) B-movie with the very worst acting and soundtrack ever, that decade.
"I have come here to do two things: Chew bubble gum, and kick ***. I am all out of bubble gum!" This line was ad libbed on the spot by Piper.
There are some other winners in that flick, but for the life of me I can‘t remember them verbatim.
One of the classic scenes, though, is his 10 minute long brawl ... with his FRIEND ... just to get his buddy to try on a pair of special sunglasses that let you see the aliens. Clearly, this was just to showcase the fact that he‘s a wrestler. The other actor was Keith David, and part of the fight was real. It was intended to last only a minute, but John Carpenter liked the improv version and kept it in the final cut.
It‘s funny, while few people admit to having watched this, a lot of people have seen it and can recite that line or know the plot. It‘s a cult classic, as horrible as it is.
Another cult classic I recommend for some real zingers is "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai (Across the Eighth Dimension)" (1984). It stars Peter Weller (Robocop, Naked Lunch), John Lithgow (Third Rock from the Sun), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), amd Jeff Goldblum (The Fly, Jurassic Park). Weller plays Bonzai, a scientist, surgeon, rock star who discovers the portal to the eighth dimension... aliens and battles follow.
"I have come here to do two things: Chew bubble gum, and kick ***. I am all out of bubble gum!" This line was ad libbed on the spot by Piper.
There are some other winners in that flick, but for the life of me I can‘t remember them verbatim.
One of the classic scenes, though, is his 10 minute long brawl ... with his FRIEND ... just to get his buddy to try on a pair of special sunglasses that let you see the aliens. Clearly, this was just to showcase the fact that he‘s a wrestler. The other actor was Keith David, and part of the fight was real. It was intended to last only a minute, but John Carpenter liked the improv version and kept it in the final cut.
It‘s funny, while few people admit to having watched this, a lot of people have seen it and can recite that line or know the plot. It‘s a cult classic, as horrible as it is.
Another cult classic I recommend for some real zingers is "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai (Across the Eighth Dimension)" (1984). It stars Peter Weller (Robocop, Naked Lunch), John Lithgow (Third Rock from the Sun), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), amd Jeff Goldblum (The Fly, Jurassic Park). Weller plays Bonzai, a scientist, surgeon, rock star who discovers the portal to the eighth dimension... aliens and battles follow.
Best quote from basic from one rather large and scary reg force corporal...
"You people best shape up now or I will throw you in the hurt locker and change the combination!"
Or this one with the same corporal(who wasn‘t too swift upstairs) during a lecture on appropriate firing positions for the C9.
Corporal: "Make sure the C9 is positioned to give auxilliary firepower to the advancing section!‘
Candidate taking notes: "Corporal, how do you spell auxilliary?"
Corporal: "Uhhh... A....X.... SHUT UP! This ain‘t english class!"
Mr. Ted
"You people best shape up now or I will throw you in the hurt locker and change the combination!"
Or this one with the same corporal(who wasn‘t too swift upstairs) during a lecture on appropriate firing positions for the C9.
Corporal: "Make sure the C9 is positioned to give auxilliary firepower to the advancing section!‘
Candidate taking notes: "Corporal, how do you spell auxilliary?"
Corporal: "Uhhh... A....X.... SHUT UP! This ain‘t english class!"
Mr. Ted
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 410
Actually, from my diving experiences, It‘s easy to tell when someone goes in their wetsuit:
1) The poor sod gets a great look of releif in his eyes (you know the one, where the eyelids sort of flutter
2) They are haunted by a yellow aura in the water around them
3) After the dive, they soon develope the rash from ****.
But that‘s going off topic.
B
Bulvyn
Guest
After looking the cpl in the eyes, "You wanna fight?"
"Remember, where you swim, fish ****."
Mcpl to pte1 "You sleep in that uniform?"
Mcpl to pte2 "You sleep in that uniform?"
Mcpl "Oh, thats right, you slept in each others."
"Remember, where you swim, fish ****."
Mcpl to pte1 "You sleep in that uniform?"
Mcpl to pte2 "You sleep in that uniform?"
Mcpl "Oh, thats right, you slept in each others."
T
tmbluesbflat
Guest
Count Basie when somebody commented "nice to see you" he responded "nice to be seen"
