What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[Pusser]

Simple (but not legal): hookers and blow.

Substitute booze for blow and you should be fine.  Prostitution is not actually illegal in Canada.

There's always a solution if you look for it.

 

[vonGarvin]

Prostitution is not actually illegal in Canada.

You're right.  It's not.

Section 213, however, makes it illegal to block traffic for said purpose

Offence in Relation to Prostitution
Offence in relation to prostitution

213. (1) Every person who in a public place or in any place open to public view

(a) stops or attempts to stop any motor vehicle,

(b) impedes the free flow of pedestrian or vehicular traffic or ingress to or egress from premises adjacent to that place, or

(c) stops or attempts to stop any person or in any manner communicates or attempts to communicate with any person

for the purpose of engaging in prostitution or of obtaining the sexual services of a prostitute is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

KEEP THE STREETS CLEAR!!!!

 

[Ex-Dragoon]

Last night dropping off mail at post office....

"excuse me? You are in the Navy...this big combat ship project for the Navy...Do you know if they will be building warships?"

I said politely....I am and yes

Dude replied "we don't need warships we need peacekeeping ships"

Thank god my cell rang and spared me from choking stupidity....

 

[FlyingDutchman]

Customer: A laser car wash.  Lasers will clean my car, right?
Me: No sir, its laser guided.
Customer: Oh. (Depressed sounding.)

 

[OldSolduer]

Dude replied "we don't need warships we need peacekeeping ships"

Thank god my cell rang and spared me from choking stupidity....

Now I really have heard it all...but I'm sure that I'll hear something else as stupid.

Oh....what is a "Peacekeeping Ship"?

 

[2010newbie]

At a party on the weekend somebody "engaged" me in conversation about the war in Afghanistan:

Him: "It's all about oil! The only reason we are in Afghanistan is to build an oil pipeline through the country. It had nothing to do with looking for Al-Qaeda or Osama. Osama bin Laden had nothing to do with Al-Qaeda! It was obvious when they found him living in a hole in a field and killed him!"

Me: "Osama wasn't found in a hole, I think you're thinking of Saddam."

Him: "I know my facts! The hole was in the middle of a farmer's field on the Pakistan-Iraq border!"

 

[2010newbie]

Oh....what is a "Peacekeeping Ship"?

http://www.scenicreflections.com/files/Flower_Ship_Wallpaper__yvt2.jpg

The guns generally only spray mists of water to water the flowers. In a dire emergency, a bouquet of mixed wildflowers can be launched out of them also, but there has to be a substantiated threat of peace being lost.

 

[GAP]

Oh....what is a "Peacekeeping Ship"?

 

[OldSolduer]

Seen......it looks a lot like a warship??  ???

 

[mariomike]

Customer: A laser car wash.  Lasers will clean my car, right?
Me: No sir, its laser guided.
Customer: Oh. (Depressed sounding.)

I was depressed too after seeing the job done on my car at a "touch-free" car wash. 
I prefer to leave it to the experts, or do it myself. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_F2Kf17d6U&feature=related

 

[PJGary]

How do we get Wainwright to become appealing to NCO's in the battalions?

So I saw this comment and almost spat up my coffee, I had totally forgot this was the "Dumbest thing you've heard today" thread  :rofl:

 

[Pusser]

You're right.  It's not.

Section 213, however, makes it illegal to block traffic for said purpose
KEEP THE STREETS CLEAR!!!!

I always get a kick out of how we sometimes can't bring ourselves to make a law prohibitng something, so we skirt the issue by criminalizing the things associated with it.

So we make a specific reference in the Criminal Code to a simple, normally non-criminal activity that is merely associated with engagement in an ancient commercial enterprise, but (at least in my experience) it's OK to block traffic for blocks by stopping in a no-stopping zone in downtown Ottawa just because you're an a$$!!!??? ullhair:  (Sorry pet peeve).

 

[cupper]

Errr, the water level of a river doesn't change, no matter how deep you dredge it.  Water seeks it's own level.

It does if you increase the slope of the upstream channel, and decrease the downstream channel, which is what I was getting at. It lowers the entire water course.

 

[cupper]

It does if you increase the slope of the upstream channel, and decrease the downstream channel, which is what I was getting at. It lowers the entire water course.

Think creating a new Niagara Falls, which would limit ship mobility upstream, but would still allow the ship to pass under.

 

[Kat Stevens]

The original post was about dredging under a bridge, not changing the entire topography of a watercourse.  You could make a fall a million meters high, if it's upstream from your bridge, the water level will remain unchanged.  As for locks, they are controlled dams/spillways that raise and lower the water level, they have nothing to do with the bottom profile, they are what allow ships to rise in elevation.

 

[cupper]

Anyway, I was just injecting some engineering humour, didn't mean to get stuck in an infinite loop. :sorry: :nevermind:

 

[Kat Stevens]

Having been a field engineer for 23 years and change, I can appreciate engineering humour.  Maybe one of these  , or even one of these  8) , may have conveyed that.  Sorry if you thought I was jumping on you, I wasn't trying to.

 

[FlyingDutchman]

Me: Put your chip card into the bottom of the pin pad please.
Customer: I don't know how to do that.

 

[frank1515]

Me: Put your chip card into the bottom of the pin pad please.
Customer: I don't know how to do that.

Customer service situations like the one explained above really brings my hope for humanity exponentially down. I worked at Loeb while in highschool, and I've got a few gems of my own including this.

*Customer wants to buy smokes*

Me: do you have ID?
Customer: Sure, here you go.
Me: it says you're 16 on here.
Customer: Oh! I didn't give you my fake!
Me:  :brickwall:

 

[FlyingDutchman]

I id'ed a guy, looked at his again. 'That id is made out of paper, no.'