The Ten Commandments of RMS Clerks

[Jarnhamar]

Not the least bit pretentious. I'm sure clerks know how to fly airplanes, drive tanks and fire artillery guns ( you know, a unit's actual purpose). I'm quite confident that my CO will keep me around no matter what you say.

I didn't even catch that. Ya pretty pretentious for sure.

 

[mariomike]

Nowhere in any applicable orders and/or regulations does it state "The Customer Is Always Right."

Reminds me of another old saying, "The customer is not always right, but they are always the customer."

 

[aesop081]

5) REMEMBER THE ORDERLY ROOM HOURS, AND KEEP THEM HOLY.

Don't be banging on the doors thirty minutes before we open, there's no clerks logged into the computer to check on your pay or to look something up for you. Unless it is an emergency, as decided by the Chief Clerk or CO, don't expect to be let in five minutes past closing, we're trying to clean up our backlog and figure out complicated crap to benefit you without a million interruptions. As for all of you piss-poor planners who make your screw-ups our emergency and hassle us for results incessantly and wonder when we don't respond immediately, Take the hint! Fail to plan, plan to fail. Give more advance notice. Provide what information is required and GTFO.

Yes i am banging on the door 30 minutes before opening or an hour after closing. I know you are not logged in but i don't give a s**t. It is an emergency and no, i don't care of you agree. My cell phone went off 30 minutes ago and now i am going away for 3 weeks. I know you do not have f*****g clue what living like that is like. We're doing more with less, f*****g do the same. Yes i know, i am taking off this morning and i didn't come get my claim yesterday like your witty email requested. That's because i landed at 8pm last night from the previous TD. I'm giving you all the notice i got now get to f*****g work.

 

[ballz]

I get frustrated a lot like most people, and I try to give clerks the benefit of a doubt. After all, as a ULO student I had all day for the most part, and it seemed like the clerks were dealing with so much at once that their bucket was just full with different scenarios / people / claims / rules / etc, so I really don't mind that I had to tell the same person every day I was down there why I was standing at the counter, and had to go over all the details of something again and again, despite that they had emailed me the day before and told me to come down at that time and that we would finish "x" paperwork. It seemed like the least I could do.

And then there are some things which I can't find, no matter how hard I try, any "doubt" to give the benefit of, like having 4 months notice of a promotion and completely dropping the ball on it, getting it done not just late, but literally "just in the nick of time (literally got done so late on the day that I was supposed to leave that I had to stay an extra night... and it still only got done because some things got circumvented)" and me getting my proper pay 2 - 3 months late (well, I'm still waiting, so I'm assuming I'll have it in that time), which is putting some serious strain on my credit card, that there is just no excuse for.

I don't take any credit for this one, but thought it was funny...RMS clerks in particular should enjoy it.  ;D

And if I were a clerk, I sure wouldn't be forwarding this little "gem" around, not even to fellow clerks, much less to the members that have to bear the burden of admin errors. I can laugh at almost anything (and I was planning on it when I read this), but in reading this I get the impression that this wasn't written by a bored clerk with a good sense of humour, but probably one of the more incompetent ones that most of us complain about, who was just feeling particularly sour that day and wanted to b*tch and moan about how tough they've got it.

Some of it actually shows how out of touch some are, such as thinking members want a cheque/cash for their advance instead of DFT because they want to "hide their party money from their old lady." As CDN Aviator mentioned, sometimes people want their cash advance in advance because that's the whole friggin point.

 

[OldSolduer]

Reminds me of another old saying, "The customer is not always right, but they are always the customer."

First of all, soldiers aren't customers, they're soldiers. Soldiers sometimes need assistance outside normal office hours.

Secondly, RMS clerks wear the same uniform as all the rest of us. Corporal RMS clerks are liable to the same disciplinary procedures as the rest of us. And soldiers coming to the RMS clerks for help are bound to treat RMS clerks with the same respect as everyone else.

It works both ways troops.

 

[aesop081]

It works both ways troops.

Absolutely.

We're all on the same team.

 

[mariomike]

First of all, soldiers aren't customers, they're soldiers.

I was quoting the original post.

I'd love to see these etched into stone tablets, one for each which we could beat over the heads of customers breaking them.

Edit to add:

10) YOU SHALL NOT COVET ANOTHER'S EMPLOYEE'S OR CUSTOMER'S BENEFITS.

 

[aesop081]

How about this one:

"Thou shalt not lose a member's paperwork"

I am here to respond to your nastygram saying i did not fill out and submit paperwork X. I in fact, completed paperwork X and gave it to you last monday, as originally requested. What's that ? You can't find it ? Well, that was protected B so come with me and explain to my boss, the CO, your boss, what your story is. I'm sure he will be impressed.

 

[aesop081]

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF RMS CLERKS
doing more with less,

You don't do more with less, you cut hours.

1) I AM THE CLERK HELPING YOU, THE ONE AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME.

I don't care who helped you before and gave you benefits you weren't entitled to. Obviously you don't either, as you can't remember their name, rank or provide a general description of them, except they were a clerk. Get the gender right at least. They aren't here to help you now, I AM.

I'm sorry. It is true that i do not remember names all that well. You see, you are the 6th clerk that's worked here in the last 2 APS. In the mean time, you guys rotate between jobs on base for you training faster than a merry-go-round so i cant keep track of who's who. I'm rarely here at home base so i don't see you guys that often. You know what that's like right ?

3) YOU SHALL NOT CONSIDER YOURSELF AN IDOL, GOD, DEITY OR OTHER ELEVATED BEING.

because if you're playing that card I'm already annoyed with you and want you to go away. 

...and that's where "assholes" like me call your bluff and bring you regulations that state that, yes, i am entitled to X. You are not infallible either. I will also call your  bluff and take formal action to rectify your shortcomings. I'm a professional and i know how to do that.

6) HONOR WRITTEN POLICIES AND DIRECTIVES.
We already did that when we sent a query to the Director of Benefits Compensation Administration (DCBA) and they informed us in proper military lingo that you can go and rub a lamp, and dream of all your wishes coming true.

Sure. Please provide me with said correspondence so i can pass that information on. Oh, what's that ? You don't have it ? Yeah, that's what i thought. Maybe you should honour what DCBA actually stands for.......

10) YOU SHALL NOT COVET ANOTHER'S EMPLOYEE'S OR CUSTOMER'S BENEFITS.

Work for an employer in the private sector and see how bad off you weren't.

Same to you. Go work in private industry and see if the company lets you shut the office down for half a day to get your paperwork caught up.


I apologise, i realy should have done all these in one single post.

 

[Strike]

Gonna have to agree with everyone's arguments re: hours (and add an example of my own).  I recall when I was at a flying unit having to work a week of days and a week of nights.  In the summer that might mean that I wasn't coming in until 1700 or 1800 at night because I would be there until 0400 the next morning.

Try sorting out any type of claim or paperwork then.

After numerous complaints about having to mess up crew days to go sign stuff in the OR, a rotation was made to have at least one clerk in until 2000 hrs every day.

Yes, we understand that you have hours, but remember, your job is to support the operators, who are the backbone of the CF, and who don't keep regular hours.

 

[Loachman]

Did somebody say something about red capes and bulls?

 

[LineJumper]

Clerks, pleaase see reply #1.

Enough said.

Road Warriors really are quite simple.

Edit- This is in RadChat

 

[Pieman]

Not to discredit some of the problems outlined here. However I generally operated under the following guidelines:

Always stay one step ahead of the bureaucrat and you will minimize your problems. 

-Never throw anything out.
-Make copies of every form you hand in.
-Make sure to get things squared away well in advance.
-Keep an eye on your pay and make an appointment to address it.

Don't have normal office hours? Make an appointment ahead of time if you need something done. (They were always willing to accommodate me)

Sometimes things with short notice come up. The clerks were always happy to help me because they knew I put an effort in to making sure I did my part of the job correctly.

 

[aesop081]

-Make copies of every form you hand in.

That is something that increases your personal convenience as you don't have to fill out a new one. What it doesn't do is fix the problem. Paperwork is not being handled properly. There is also now a document that is floating around, possibly being where it shouldn't be, possibly being seen by someone who shouldn't.

 

[George Wallace]

That is something that increases your personal convenience as you don't have to fill out a new one. What it doesn't do is fix the problem. Paperwork is not being handled properly. There is also now a document that is floating around, possibly being where it shouldn't be, possibly being seen by someone who shouldn't.

I always recommend that people keep copies of all their docs; pay, medical, CF Expres, Posting msgs, Claims, etc.  Even email chains.  Create your own 'Shadow Pers Files' at home.  That way when there is a screw up or lost doc, you have a back up or proof that you did what you were supposed to.  I have not relied on the "Read" and "Open" option in email in sometime, but have had to use it to track if people were reading important emails that seemed not to be getting actioned.  I then had proof that the intended person had indeed read it.

If you do not keep your own records, you have no leg to stand on in truly screwed up cases.  It can be considered evidence/proof that you have acted to the best of your authorized abilities.  It can also assist you in filling out your Security Clearances, Claims, Career Progression, Courses that may be recognized or accredited outside the CF, building your resume/CV, etc. 

 

[Disenchantedsailor]

I have one

Though shalt finalize claims and have them paid in a reasonable period.  NO! 6 Months is not a reasonable time period.  7-10 days is (on a side note in private industry they are usually paid out on the next closest pay run)

 

[aesop081]

I have one

Though shalt finalize claims and have them paid in a reasonable period.  NO! 6 Months is not a reasonable time period.  7-10 days is (on a side note in private industry they are usually paid out on the next closest pay run)

I know it happens but, i have to give credit where credit is due, it has happened to me only once. Clerks in my units have been very good in this regard.

 

[Disenchantedsailor]

Soldiers in my sub-unit have lots of money tied up in 3-6 month old claims. (exact amount left out on purpose)

 

[dapaterson]

Soldiers in my sub-unit have lots of money tied up in 3-6 month old claims. (exact amount left out on purpose)

That's why God invented the chain of command.  Get details (including the "next week" emails that the clerks sent, or the emails sent that were deleted unread) and send them to the OC who will, in turn, speak to the Adjt and/or CO about the problem; one of those two will get the OR working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week until the backlog is sorted.

 

[Pieman]

    Create your own 'Shadow Pers Files' at home.  That way when there is a screw up or lost doc, you have a back up or proof that you did what you were supposed to. 

For sure. When I was getting out, they could not even find my pers file at all.  I had to release without it. This included all the copies of my perfomance evaluations, and whatever else they keep in there. Thankfully I got copies of everything, so there is no real problem. Otherwise, if I were to go back I'm not sure If I'd be able to prove I had any of my driver qualifications etc.