So there I was.......

[Haggis]

... across the face by a cricket bat that she had hidden in her bodice.  Teeth flew and blood gusged from a gaping....

 

[geo]

... orifice.  The orifice the RSM had kindly torn out for....

 

[Shec]

...being late for both breakfast and pay parade...

 

[Haggis]

....as a result of their glaringly abysmal example of "conduct unbecoming"  back in post #940.....

 

[Shec]

...so after the RSM received a telephone call from the Major's mommy...

 

[Haggis]

... the RSM was intrigued by the prospect of naked cougar hunting and agreed to meet her at a bar in Gatineau....

 

[Teflon]

... and stated that he would be the striking fellow in the corduroy liesure suit and ruby tiara...

 

[Haggis]

.... Alas, he found out that there were other MILF Hunters who shopped in the same stores as him. Who'd a thunk that many men wore liesure suits these days?  (Funny.  That guy at the bar looks familiar... could that be..... naaah!) Trying to stick out in the crowd, he.....

 

[Lil_T]

... ordered a pina colada, unbuttoned his shirt a la Disco Stu and....

 

[Shec]

...put on his RayBan Aviator sunglasses...

 

[Teflon]

.... and promptly tripped over a bar stool as the dimly lit confines of the bar where just way to dark to be waring sun glasses in not matter what the "cool" factor...

 

[Shec]

... having thus accomplished his immediate objective of sticking out in the crowd...

 

[kkwd]

.... with one foot stuck in a spittoon and a hand up some guy's ...

 

[Lil_T]

...dress.  He thought to himself, is that.... naaah.....

 

[kkwd]

... a Highlander!!! Oh no, prepare for a beating he thought, but right then ...

 

[Shec]

...his blind-date the Major's mom, wearing thigh high stilletto heeled red patent leather boots and holding a whip, appeared...

 

[kkwd]

..... and pulled out her gun and attempted to shoot the major in the head, but it being so full of air just made a hissing noise. He pulled out his patch kit and was back in business in no time. He says to himself he says "self, I hate it when this happens". So everybody ...

 

[Michael OLeary]

... formed a hollow square for another lesson in Fashion and Mis-Matched Camo ...

 

[kkwd]

....with the major being the training aid. After much edumacation they all raised their ....

 

[Michael OLeary]

... sacred knock-off Rambo knives ...