New Game: Make a wish

[vonGarvin]

I wish to be able to travel through time

Granted. You go back in time.  To Hiroshima.  One early morning in August, 1945.  You hear a single plane flying over head.  High above you.  You hear what sounds like a whistle, getting closer. 


I wish that Ghana didn't miss that penalty at the end of the match in extra time.

 

[Sapplicant]

I wish that Ghana didn't miss that penalty at the end of the match in extra time.

GOALLLLLL!!!! The stadium erupts in cheers, people are dancing, shouting, and hugging. Suddenly, a Japanese man with a black suit, expensive shades, and a giant knife pulls Suarez onto the field and forces him to commit Seppuku to save his family the shame and humiliation of having cost U-R-Gay (Homer's right, what a funny name) a shot at "football" glory. Also, the world instantly ends, and you never had a chance to impose your will. But I find $20 first.





I wish I had chosen the salad instead of teh soup.

 

[Delta26]

Granted. And the salad is incredible.. Fresh field greens, Vine ripened tomatoes, all the favourites that you love in your salad, at the peak of flavour and freshness.... unfortunately the croûtons you decided to add to said salad were extremely old, and while biting one you crack a tooth, losing a filling in the process, and costing you thousands of dollars in painful dental reconstruction



I wish that i was heading out to BMQ

 

[Alea]

Granted. And the salad is incredible.. Fresh field greens, Vine ripened tomatoes, all the favourites that you love in your salad, at the peak of flavour and freshness.... unfortunately the croûtons you decided to add to said salad were extremely old, and while biting one you crack a tooth, losing a filling in the process, and costing you thousands of dollars in painful dental reconstruction



I wish that i was heading out to BMQ

Granted... and then you get woken up at 500am every morning to immediately start a 5k run, get screamed on every day because there's dust on your pillow and you forgot a hair on your brush. Get stomach burns from eating in less than 20mn and have to stand up in back of class in order to not fall asleep on your books. Get bitten by mosquitoes in the fields and have to use the "sticky toilets" and no shower for 5 days. To top it all with a cherry on the sunday... you have no weekends out for the the first month and only wish you'd have a nice sunday morning coffee with the newspaper.

I wish Prince Charming existed!

 

[Swingline1984]

I wish Prince Charming existed!

Granted...but, I'm already married.

I wish I had a new Jeep.

 

[Sapplicant]

I wish I had a new Jeep.

Shazam!! It's sitting in your driveway. When you go to drive it, in your elated state you throw it into 1st gear with the intention of backing out of your dooryard, and now your kitchen opens up into the garage.


I wish a Canadian team would win the Cup.



Edited for grammar.

 

[Delta26]

Granted... and then you get woken up at 500am every morning to immediately start a 5k run, get screamed on every day because there's dust on your pillow and you forgot a hair on your brush. Get stomach burns from eating in less than 20mn and have to stand up in back of class in order to not fall asleep on your books. Get bitten by mosquitoes in the fields and have to use the "sticky toilets" and no shower for 5 days. To top it all with a cherry on the sunday... you have no weekends out for the the first month and only wish you'd have a nice sunday morning coffee with the newspaper.

i must be a masochist, because that sounds like fun

 

[Swingline1984]

I wish a Canadian team would win the Cup.

Granted...only the team is the Bombers and the "Cup" is Lord Grey's.

I wish Pet had a Starbucks.

 

[GloriaVictis]

I wish Pet had a Starbucks.

Granted! You become physically dependent on Starbucks quad-shot Americanos, and soon your addiction intensifies and you're drinking 10+ per day. Your savings account dwindles from the $5 coffees, and your cerebral dopaminergic system begins to fatigue from over-stimulation; neural lesions result. The caffeine also depletes your bones of calcium, and you end up with chronic osteoporosis. Plus, you have constant coffee-breath.  You lose your house and your job, and your friends abandon you because of your substance abuse. With no other options, and unable to feed your habit, you resort to eating the discarded coffee grinds from the dumpster behind the Starbucks.  :nod:

...I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

 

[vonGarvin]

...I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my eyes.

And so you shall!  These are now Class IV lasers, and they incinerate everything you wish to look at.  In despair, you look at yourself in the mirror, instantly blinding you.  You cannot shut off the laser, and the SWAT team is called out to "take you down" because you have run into traffic, terrified at your new blindness.  After four officers suffer horrible burns from you laser-vision, they open up and you are brought down in hail of bullets.


I wish that Justin Bieber would just fade away!

 

[agc]

I wish that Justin Bieber would just fade away!

He does.  You are crushed when you realize he is your son and your time travel shenanigans prevent him from being born.

I wish they would reduce CRA to 35.

 

[George Wallace]

I wish I knew what CRA was.

Canada Revenue Agency

Canadian Revenue Act

Canadian Reiki Association

Computing Research Association

Corporate Research Associates Inc

Conestoga-Rovers & Associates

Compulsory Retirement Age

Canadian Rental Association

Calgary Rocketry Association

The Community Reinvestment Act

Canadian Representatives Abroad

CRESCENT GOLD LTD - T.CRA:TSX

 

[Thompson_JM]

Look at that, my wish came true! I now know every possible meaning for "CRA".

You now feel a deep sense of loss and regret for not wishing for something better.....


I wish I wasnt so Tired

 

[daftandbarmy]

You now feel a deep sense of loss and regret for not wishing for something better.....


I wish I wasnt so Tired

Granted. But then all your wheels would fall of and you'd be lying in the middle of the road where you'd be crushed by a painkiller addicted senior citizen in a runaway scooter making his way to to be first in line at the early bird special at Denny's.

I wish that Canada had an Airborne Brigade. Again.

 

[Gunner98]

Granted, Canada once again has Airborne Forces that can be relocated on order to make up a Brigade but the Air Force has no money to pay for fuel for the new airframes.  The new government states that the military is no longer needed to fight wars so we can only deploy aboard frigates while wearing UN Blue Helmets and the news headlines continually scream "Another Somalia looms on the horizon".

I wish my wife did not snore so loudly at night!


P.S. The correct CRA that was wished for was Compulsory Retirement Age.

 

[Jorkapp]

I wish my wife did not snore so loudly at night!

Granted, she stops snoring at night, but then you can't tell whether or not if she's asleep, thus stopping you from sneaking out of bed to do the manly (or womanly) things she won't let you do during the day.

I wish I didn't have to pay the hydro bill!

 

[MedTechStudent]

I wish I didn't have to pay the hydro bill!

And so you shall not.  For you have conceived an ingenious contraption that can power your entire house, nay, the entire street using nothing but hamster power.  Sure you're hamster wheel lube and pellet costs may be slightly inflated, but thats nothing to you when you consider your hydro savings.  And don't forget how cuddly they are.

I wish the weather would be a bit warmer for Wakestock today.

 

[agc]

I wish the weather would be a bit warmer for Wakestock today.

It's 65 degrees.  You don't realize at first and walk out onto your driveway barefoot.  Your feet are scalded and you get a bad back from sleeping in the fridge.

I change my wish for CRA to the Canada Revenue Agency.  With only 35 people they can't possibly collect my taxes.

 

[KrazyHamburglar]

The CRA with 35 people and less than half of them doing actual work, the government cannot sustain the economic recovery and the services. The country collapses and we are back to the medieval age.

I wish nobody could possibly find a way to turn my wishes into something negative.

 

[Nemecek]

No one will find a way to make it negative, because everyone has died from nuclear holocaust and you're the only person still alive.


I wish I could control people's minds en masse like Dionysus... or a Dark Archon from Starcraft: Brood War!