- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
My first sergeant in the Blackhorse when the barracks weren't squared away: "My barracks are all f***** up. You people don't wanna work in the day—outstanding. You'll all be workin' tonight. We're gonna have a party, and you all have a command invitation."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
The most recent one I have adopted:
"Don't think outside the box, Make the box bigger"
"Don't think outside the box, Make the box bigger"
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Post 300 on this thread reminded me of the saying that was printed on the back of the Corporal's Club card my father had from the RCAF:
A corporal is a man who knows much about little,
and day by day learns more and more about less and less.
Until finally, he knows everything about nothing.
Then they make him a sergeant.
A corporal is a man who knows much about little,
and day by day learns more and more about less and less.
Until finally, he knows everything about nothing.
Then they make him a sergeant.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
Here's a few I heard at my unit
"There's two types of plugs in this army Pte Bloggins, the ones you stick in a wall and the ones that wear little green uniforms" - Pl WO
"Never trust a corporal with a CD or a major without one." - A major to a young 2lt.
"Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining, Cpl" - My OC told me.
"Punishment is its own reward"
"If you try to SHARPen me I will f*cking beat you"
"If you think you're irreplaceable, it's time for you to be replaced."
"Mmmmm! It tastes like a party in my mouth and everyone is welcome to [come]" - someone tasting a drink for the first time.
"There's two types of plugs in this army Pte Bloggins, the ones you stick in a wall and the ones that wear little green uniforms" - Pl WO
"Never trust a corporal with a CD or a major without one." - A major to a young 2lt.
"Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining, Cpl" - My OC told me.
"Punishment is its own reward"
"If you try to SHARPen me I will f*cking beat you"
"If you think you're irreplaceable, it's time for you to be replaced."
"Mmmmm! It tastes like a party in my mouth and everyone is welcome to [come]" - someone tasting a drink for the first time.
- Reaction score
- 35
- Points
- 560
After Cormwallis, we went to Calgary for Depot training, but the shacks were being refurbished and so we lived in an ATCO trailer. My friend Matt used to say he had more room as a fetus than he had in his room. We were having morning inspection in combats and with our fighting order laid out on our bed. Since we were standing in our room, we could hear the WO coming down the hall, and hear everything through the paper thin walls, but could not see what was happening.
From two rooms down, I hear:
WO: ******, do you know what to do with that gas mask?
Pte: Yes WO!
WO: GAS! GAS! GAS!
Pte: Various thumping and banging noises, then a silence
WO: I bet it would work a lot better if you TOOK THE PLUGS OUT OF THE CANNISTER!!!
From two rooms down, I hear:
WO: ******, do you know what to do with that gas mask?
Pte: Yes WO!
WO: GAS! GAS! GAS!
Pte: Various thumping and banging noises, then a silence
WO: I bet it would work a lot better if you TOOK THE PLUGS OUT OF THE CANNISTER!!!
J
jimmy742
Guest
From D Squadron CFSCE circa 1980
Picture of privates crammed in a large artillery piece about to be fired with the caption." To err is human, to forgive is not squadron policy"
Picture of privates crammed in a large artillery piece about to be fired with the caption." To err is human, to forgive is not squadron policy"
- Reaction score
- 27,199
- Points
- 1,090
Be they military or otherwise, this is a place to post your favourite quotes or aphorisms.
Here's one from the papers a few weeks ago:
I love the army. I worked at a convenience store before this and I was making $6.50 an hour. I got robbed three times at gunpoint and it wasn't logical to do that for that kind of salary when I could move to this one, and now I can fire back. It's a safer job, really.
-An RCR private, prior to deploying to Afghanistan
Here's one from the papers a few weeks ago:
I love the army. I worked at a convenience store before this and I was making $6.50 an hour. I got robbed three times at gunpoint and it wasn't logical to do that for that kind of salary when I could move to this one, and now I can fire back. It's a safer job, really.
-An RCR private, prior to deploying to Afghanistan
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 10
"Our kids aren't born with silver spoons in their mouths...They are born with HOCKEY SKATES on their feet!"
My personal fave!
My personal fave!
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Heres a question...why are those here?
they are from a completely different thread...and this one is a little too specialized to accomodate them.
Just me...continue on.
they are from a completely different thread...and this one is a little too specialized to accomodate them.
Just me...continue on.
RangerRay
Army.ca Veteran
- Reaction score
- 3,792
- Points
- 1,260
Franco PERI MCpl on BOTC: "You 'tink I know f*** nuting? I know f*** ALL!"
Pl WO in Wainwright: "Let's go, you f***ing hemmoroids! MOVE!"
"Dog balls!"
"Dog drool!"
Sec Cmd in Wainwright: "You guys move like old people f***: slow and sloppy!"
"Way to go, you f***in' wizard"
"Qu'est-ce que f***?"
Sec 2IC: "Ya f***in' yard ape!"
Pl WO in Wainwright: "Let's go, you f***ing hemmoroids! MOVE!"
"Dog balls!"
"Dog drool!"
Sec Cmd in Wainwright: "You guys move like old people f***: slow and sloppy!"
"Way to go, you f***in' wizard"
"Qu'est-ce que f***?"
Sec 2IC: "Ya f***in' yard ape!"
- Reaction score
- 3,106
- Points
- 1,160
-"Franco PERI MCpl on BOTC: "You 'tink I know f*** nuting? I know f*** ALL!"-
This one has been told by every English guy that ever served, about every Franco guy they ever served with.
This one has been told by every English guy that ever served, about every Franco guy they ever served with.
BDTyre
Sr. Member
- Reaction score
- 4
- Points
- 230
Almost the opposite of a jacking up.
Inspection one night, someone comes in just one minute late, and joins the formation.
The Sargeant doesn't yell, doesn't say anything. He just moves up and down the line. Reaches the late soldier.
"Why were you late? Too busy j***ing off?"
"No Sargeant, I had exams."
"Really? Try the *** to be on time." A few seconds pass. "What are you studying to be?"
"Rocket scientist, Sargeant."
"F*** off, really? A rocket scientist?"
"Yes Sargeant."
"You're not s****ing me are you?"
"No Sargeant."
"Wow...a rocket scientist..."
Had the soldier been in the front rank, the Sargeant would have known he was being jerked around. This isn't verbatim, but the conversation essentially went like that. I never could tell if the Sargeant truly believed the person.
Inspection one night, someone comes in just one minute late, and joins the formation.
The Sargeant doesn't yell, doesn't say anything. He just moves up and down the line. Reaches the late soldier.
"Why were you late? Too busy j***ing off?"
"No Sargeant, I had exams."
"Really? Try the *** to be on time." A few seconds pass. "What are you studying to be?"
"Rocket scientist, Sargeant."
"F*** off, really? A rocket scientist?"
"Yes Sargeant."
"You're not s****ing me are you?"
"No Sargeant."
"Wow...a rocket scientist..."
Had the soldier been in the front rank, the Sargeant would have known he was being jerked around. This isn't verbatim, but the conversation essentially went like that. I never could tell if the Sargeant truly believed the person.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
A friday night of Reserve weekend BMQ (during night inspection):
Sec 2IC: What is that on your uniform pvt XXX??
Pvt: Spahetti Sauce MCPL!
Sec 2IC: You have your f**king dinner on your uniform?
Pvt: Yes MCPL
Sec 2IC: Whats that on your face Pvt XX????
(pvt tries to lick spaghetti sauce off the side of his face)
Sec 2IC: Don't f**king lick it!
Sec 2IC: What is that on your uniform pvt XXX??
Pvt: Spahetti Sauce MCPL!
Sec 2IC: You have your f**king dinner on your uniform?
Pvt: Yes MCPL
Sec 2IC: Whats that on your face Pvt XX????
(pvt tries to lick spaghetti sauce off the side of his face)
Sec 2IC: Don't f**king lick it!
I will set the scene.
An IG (Inspector General) inspection was coming up. In the USMC at that time, and probably still is, meant that it was full locker/junk-on-the-bunk, footlocker and personal inspection all at once. Leading up to this wonderful time there were about 8-10 inspections to get us ready. This is about the 3rd inspection.
Being stationed in San Diego, puts us in close proximity to Tijuana, Mexico, where it is legal to drink. The night before the 3rd inspection some of the guys went down to Tijuana and got back about 1/2 hour before inspection, still very, very drunk. We didn't give them too much attention, because we were scurrying around getting the barracks and everything ready.
Finally, our NCO called us to attention. We are all standing beside our racks, everything laid out, footlockers open, locker doors ajar, everything was just so. While waiting for the base Commanding General and entourage to get to us, we realize that the fellows that had gone out to Tijuana the night before, were nowhere to be seen and that their racks and stuff were untouched.
At that point there was nothing we could do but tough it out.
Finally, the General and his entourage gets to us, and as is typical is critical of anything and everything. (Later I came to realize why, but then it was disheartening).
The General gets to the fellow's rack that is not touched, said something that we couldn't hear to our officer, then flips open the guys footlocker, which is also untouched. Scowling, he steps over and opens the wall locker belonging to this guy.
And there, crouched in the wall locker is the very drunk marine. He simply turns his head to the General and says in that quiet elevator operator voice "Going Up Sir!"
The General closed the locker door, turned and walked out of the squad bay.
An IG (Inspector General) inspection was coming up. In the USMC at that time, and probably still is, meant that it was full locker/junk-on-the-bunk, footlocker and personal inspection all at once. Leading up to this wonderful time there were about 8-10 inspections to get us ready. This is about the 3rd inspection.
Being stationed in San Diego, puts us in close proximity to Tijuana, Mexico, where it is legal to drink. The night before the 3rd inspection some of the guys went down to Tijuana and got back about 1/2 hour before inspection, still very, very drunk. We didn't give them too much attention, because we were scurrying around getting the barracks and everything ready.
Finally, our NCO called us to attention. We are all standing beside our racks, everything laid out, footlockers open, locker doors ajar, everything was just so. While waiting for the base Commanding General and entourage to get to us, we realize that the fellows that had gone out to Tijuana the night before, were nowhere to be seen and that their racks and stuff were untouched.
At that point there was nothing we could do but tough it out.
Finally, the General and his entourage gets to us, and as is typical is critical of anything and everything. (Later I came to realize why, but then it was disheartening).
The General gets to the fellow's rack that is not touched, said something that we couldn't hear to our officer, then flips open the guys footlocker, which is also untouched. Scowling, he steps over and opens the wall locker belonging to this guy.
And there, crouched in the wall locker is the very drunk marine. He simply turns his head to the General and says in that quiet elevator operator voice "Going Up Sir!"
The General closed the locker door, turned and walked out of the squad bay.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
I remember a Sgt-Major standing behind me on parade asking me " Does this hurt?"., confused, I asked "What do you mean sir?"...to which he replied.."I'm standing on your f@$&**g hair!"
Gnplummer
Gnplummer
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Loved the Marine one, "Going up Sir?" is absolutely classic.
I'm a tad tired and cant think of any real "jacking" stories (We'd say "SkullF###ing" or just "getting ripped") but i may as well mention some phrases we use that get rolled out like crazy at ARTC Kapooka (Army Recruit Training Centre).
"Manky" is a grand one meaning untidy, messy or anything to do with hygiene "You are a Manky individual, clean up". For us "Jack" is used for lazy, unmotivated or even if you sick of something, as in "That blokes a jack bastard" or "I'm jack of doing this".
If i had a doller for ever time someone said that on my basic...i'd have a hell of a lot of dollers!
This isnt really a jacking story but...
Towards the end of my recruit training we had our OC's inspection which is the most serious of all the inspections. Just before it we got called out into the corridor by one of the DS. He told us that when the OC asked us "So what are you doing after this Recruit?" we should say "Sir...I'm going to get on the Gassssss!". Now we all liked this bloke so the vast majority went along with it. As the OC went through the rooms you'd hear the stomp of feet firs, shortly followed by "Getting on the Gassssssss" with a big emphasis on those "s"s. The OC, being a very serious gentleman didnt twig and, in a rather loud voice at the end of the inspection informed the DS that he felt it our platoon had "Issues that had best be addressed by those with the correct qualifications". 2 days later we got a talk about alcohol abuse and were questioned on how much we drunk before we started Kapooka, all while our staff laughed their arses off behind us!
I'm a tad tired and cant think of any real "jacking" stories (We'd say "SkullF###ing" or just "getting ripped") but i may as well mention some phrases we use that get rolled out like crazy at ARTC Kapooka (Army Recruit Training Centre).
"Manky" is a grand one meaning untidy, messy or anything to do with hygiene "You are a Manky individual, clean up". For us "Jack" is used for lazy, unmotivated or even if you sick of something, as in "That blokes a jack bastard" or "I'm jack of doing this".
If i had a doller for ever time someone said that on my basic...i'd have a hell of a lot of dollers!
This isnt really a jacking story but...
Towards the end of my recruit training we had our OC's inspection which is the most serious of all the inspections. Just before it we got called out into the corridor by one of the DS. He told us that when the OC asked us "So what are you doing after this Recruit?" we should say "Sir...I'm going to get on the Gassssss!". Now we all liked this bloke so the vast majority went along with it. As the OC went through the rooms you'd hear the stomp of feet firs, shortly followed by "Getting on the Gassssssss" with a big emphasis on those "s"s. The OC, being a very serious gentleman didnt twig and, in a rather loud voice at the end of the inspection informed the DS that he felt it our platoon had "Issues that had best be addressed by those with the correct qualifications". 2 days later we got a talk about alcohol abuse and were questioned on how much we drunk before we started Kapooka, all while our staff laughed their arses off behind us!
At one point I had the material removed from the brim of the old Bush cap so the brim was floppy. We were marshalling the tracks one morning heading out on ex, and "smart" me I had the front of the hat flipped up loading some kit, and the QMSI happened to be passing by....
He grabbed my head by the brim, gave it a "gentle" shake and informed me "You're not F****n Gilligan."
He grabbed my head by the brim, gave it a "gentle" shake and informed me "You're not F****n Gilligan."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 60
The Setup:
IAP St Jean, 2004. Drill class - marking time. The platoon was formed up, at attention, and the DS wanted the name of the marker (name altered for obvious reasons - but individual was of Ukranian descent)...
The Jack-up:
DS: "Who's my marker!?"
Marker: "Naval Cadet Galakowitz, Master Seaman"
DS: *confused look* "Say again?!?!"
Marker: "Naval Cadet Galakowitz, Master Seaman"
DS: "Holy f#*k, somebody with a name I can pronounce swap places with him, NOW"
A platoon full of nervous recruits snicker to their amusement, and paid for it by, of course, marking time....
IAP St Jean, 2004. Drill class - marking time. The platoon was formed up, at attention, and the DS wanted the name of the marker (name altered for obvious reasons - but individual was of Ukranian descent)...
The Jack-up:
DS: "Who's my marker!?"
Marker: "Naval Cadet Galakowitz, Master Seaman"
DS: *confused look* "Say again?!?!"
Marker: "Naval Cadet Galakowitz, Master Seaman"
DS: "Holy f#*k, somebody with a name I can pronounce swap places with him, NOW"
A platoon full of nervous recruits snicker to their amusement, and paid for it by, of course, marking time....
