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What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

In Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons:

    Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"
    Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."
    Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."
    Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_insult#Historic_usage
 
Website sells pubic lice for revenge

A website in Britain called crabrevenge.com says it sells pubic lice. While the disclaimer says the website creators "do not endorse giving people lice," and the lice are for "novelty purposes only," the website talks about using them for revenge.

"Make that bitch itch," the website says. "We sell you crabs to give your ex-girlfriend or whoever has pissed you off enough to make you seek revenge on them. If you want a method of revenge that doesn't involve permanent damage or risk of personal injury or jail time, you have come to the right place."

The company says it has a facility in the British Isles "where we do all of our parasite husbandry and carefully considered selective breeding." The website says the company was started "by a group of fellows who happen to know a thing or two about biology and revenge."

More at link

I suppose, you can probably get a hitman over the internet, why not crabs?  ::)

 
PMedMoe said:
I suppose, you can probably get a hitman over the internet, why not crabs?  ::)

That should read "buy" and not "get".  Because if you could "get crabs" over the Internet I know a lot of people who would have to change their surfing habits!  :nod:
 
naughty15tracy said:
Not true, not true, you can get crabs over the internet!

No, ST is right, I should have said "buy".  Heck, you can't even get crabs from a toilet seat!  ;)
 
Not heard, but read:

http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/2010/05/15/13959641-wenn-story.html

Rocker shares bad Viagra experience

By WENN.COM

Tokio Hotel rocker Tom Kaulitz has sworn off using sex aid Viagra ever again after a bad experience with the drug left him struggling to see straight.

The German guitarist, 20, reveals he was approached by a dealer while on tour with the band in Asia and initially felt offended by the offer - before relenting and deciding to buy a handful of the pills.

Kaulitz tells Germany's Bild newspaper, "I first asked the seller 'Do I look like someone who needs help with that?' He said 'no' - but that I should nevertheless try it out. I popped one in."

The star decided to take a few more once he returned to his hotel - but he soon regretted his actions when he woke up.

He says, "I popped a few more pills, probably too many. The next morning my head was pounding and everything in front of my eyes was blurry. It wasn't fun any more. It was pretty bad."

And Kaulitz admits the sex drug's performance-enhancing effects left him red-faced for two whole days. 

He adds, "Unfortunately there were situations where it just wasn't appropriate."
 
PMedMoe said:
No, ST is right, I should have said "buy".  Heck, you can't even get crabs from a toilet seat!  ;)

I was always taught never to throw Q-Tips into the toilet. The reason why you ask? Because crabs can pole vault!
 
Loachman said:
Not heard, but read:

Rocker shares bad Viagra experience

I'm not sure what's the dumbest part - that he bought Viagra from a dealer - that he took it at all - that he took too much - or that he shared the story with a reporter.  Yep, stupid all around.  ::)
 
I didn't really know where to begin to comment on that, but I was trying to imagine the thought process: "I've got a raging erection from this first one, so I'll pop a handful and see what happens".
 
My guess would be he didn't realize the stiff penalties involved with abuse of such a drug...

 
Bzzliteyr said:
My guess would be he didn't realize the stiff penalties involved with abuse of such a drug...

HEY-O!!! It must have been very hard telling that story to a reporter.
 
Woman sues Rogers for revealing her affair

A Toronto woman is suing telecom giant Rogers Communications for $600,000, alleging the company's billing practices revealed her infidelity, leading her husband to leave her.

The Toronto Star reports Gabriella Nagy filed a statement of claim alleging an invasion of privacy and breach of contract on Roger's part in an Ontario court.

Nagy had a cellphone account with Rogers in 2007, in which a monthly bill was sent to her home address in her maiden name. Her husband, who is not named in the statement of claim, had the family's cable and TV bill under his name.

In June of 2007, he called to add Internet and home phone services and the following month Rogers sent a "global" bill to the home address, including the itemized phone bill for Nagy's cellphone.

The husband saw several long phone calls to a single phone number, and called the number, and a "third party" revealed an affair on the part of Nagy, the woman told the Star.

"The husband used the previously private and confidential information that the defendant unilaterally disclosed to the husband to inquire about the people that the plaintiff was telephoning and the nature of such calls," the statement of claim reads.

More at link

I have to wonder, was the husband not curious about his wife's cellphone bill?

::)   
 
::)

A Russian newspaper recently ran a story that proposed a new method of stopping the expanding oil spill currently adorning the surface of the Gulf of Mexico. The editors write that the former Soviet Union had good results in such instances when it used targeted, tactical nukes to seal off natural gas or oil leaks. Experts suggest that the same approach could successfully be used in the United States as well, although some concerns remain as to how exactly the technique could be applied, LiveScience reports.

While using nuclear weapons against an oil spill may seem a bit too much at first, the Russians say it's actually not. They argue that their country has used this sort of weapons five times already, in various circumstances, and to great results
. But critics to this proposal underline the fact that the Soviet examples do not apply to the current disaster. The oil currently spilling in the waters of the Gulf comes from a source located some 5,000 feet below the surface of the Atlantic Ocean. The crude is basically gushing out, not seeping, and there is no telling what effects a nuclear explosion would trigger.

The idea was presented in the daily newspaper Komsomoloskaya Pravda, according to Julia Ioffe of the news website True/Slant, who translated the piece. Normally, no one would even consider it, but the fact of the matter is that current clean-up efforts are ineffective at best, and that the oil slick is continuously expanding, threatening natural reserves and habitats, which are the spawning grounds for numerous species of fish and birds. It is absolutely vital for the oil company BP and federal authorities to seal off the leaks, but thus far only the smallest of three was successfully stopped.

Each day, about 5,000 gallons of crude spill into the water, rise to the surface, and get pushed around by prevailing winds and currents. This has been going on for about three weeks. The Deepwater Horizon semi-submersible drilling rig blew up on April 20, and sunk on April 22, killing 11 workers. The two oil sources that remain keep on gushing crude because the blow-out preventer valve, the main safety mechanism, did not function properly. The Russian newspaper argues that targeting a nuke at these holes could seal them off for good.

-Softpedia
 
Seems that the Russians are behind the times.  This was already a suggestion that was put forward by an American Naval officer.  He, however, said that there were better methods that could be used.
 
In bed this week end.
Wife: I'm cold.
Me: If your ass was smaller, it would be under the blanket right now and you wouldn't be cold.

 
Dissident said:
In bed this week end.
Wife: I'm cold.
Me: If your ass was smaller, it would be under the blanket right now and you wouldn't be cold.

If you put out more, she'd be burning off more calories.
 
I'm still trying to figure out who made the dumb comment.....

Her for saying she's cold, or him for coming up with the comment that he's going to pay a healthy price for being a smart ass.....besides 5 minutes of exercise ain't going to mean didley, unless it's her doing all the work... ;D
 
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