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What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

Quote from: WR on Yesterday at 17:07:20
So someone is having a bad day, tired or like everyone else (maybe except yourself) overwhelmed at work and makes a mistake and you lose respect? Do you find it tough being perfect??? 

Ok when you swab COMBAT kit for GSR and explosive traces what are you?

Rarely do CBSA swab for explosives (they never swab for gun shot residue), what we do swab for on a very regular basis is NARCOTICS....

So I will make an educated assumption (you should try it sometime, you may find it refreshing), that the CBSA Officer was swabbing your kit for NARCOTICS.
 
So at  a rough estimate since I pulled pole from the CF in 1994 I’ve been out of the country ( not including cross border visits to the US, in excess of 40 odd times ( based on the collection of used and current Passports in my home safe) to approx 36 countries , many more than once, on 5 Continents.

All of those were on a plain old Blue Passport, not a fancy Green one. That would make me I think bit of SME on dealing with the guardians of our borders. With the exception of the two immigration officers at Pearson who mistook me for a Cuba refugee (and I think were disappointed when I pulled out the Canadian Passport with born in TO), and the asshat Customs type with a produce fetish in Halifax who nailed me for a contraband apple coming back from Morocco ( and made me waste my two hour stop over and forfeit the chance to buy live lobsters), I’d say my experiences are about average.

For the most part I’ve been treated with respect, and patience. The times I’ve been not given the secret code word and sent to the red channel are actually few and even then a minor inconvenience at best. Some times I’ve blended in with the sea of returning sunburned hung over tourists and been waved through. Other times it looks like I spent the night before my flight in a third world gutter and naturally had to answer some questions. I’ve been polite with them and had the same treatment and courtesy in return. Trust me a single guy in his thirties stepping off a direct flight from Colombia to Pearson will draw attention. CSBA types like CF types come in all shapes and sizes, for the most decent guys doing a sometimes crappy job and sometimes real mouth breathing asshats, that’s life deal with it Princess.

If you thin they’re bad, then trust me stay at home. Compared to our gun toting Chuck Norris wannabe cousins south of the 49th they are the epitome of professionalism. Go in the  developing world and have a chat with the guardians of the borders in Colombia, Thailand, Morocco, Japan, Macau, Guatemala, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Cuba, El Salvador, et cetera et cetera.

In some cases you’ll meet blind bureaucrats who will refuse to listen to common sense and follow unbending nonsensical procedures. In others the only way you’re getting past the barrier is by inserting the special Andrew Jackson entry/exit tax into your passport and smile politely at the Rayban wearing, assault rifle toting thug who passes for law and order there.

That's my two cents, Pesos, Lempira, Bhat, Yen, Dirhams on the matter, your exchange rate may vary. 8)
 
Danjanou said:
In some cases you’ll meet blind bureaucrats who will refuse to listen to common sense and follow unbending nonsensical procedures. In others the only way you’re getting past the barrier is by inserting the special Andrew Jackson entry/exit tax into your passport and smile politely at the Rayban wearing, assault rifle toting thug who passes for law and order there.

In my experiences with the two people like this (one was in a developing nation) encountered the Green Back didn't seem to cut it, they wanted Euro  ::)

I think I may just be lucky, because I have been searched every time I go through Canada Customs  ::).
 
We were covering deer species in my Mammalogy class the other day and we had an amazing question asked. We were going through some of the characteristics of Mule Deer and one of the guys in the class decides to ask the prof "So are Mule Deer a cross between a mule and another deer?"
 
I went into our local beer store to get a two-four this afternoon. The 20-something blonde girl behind the counter took my empties and my cash and gave me my change. Before she gave me my case, she reached in the till and hauled out an old two dollar bill. "Do you know what this is," she asked. I replied, "It's a two dollar bill and it has been out of circulation for years." Her face dropped and she said, "I guess I've been taken."

Fortunately I did not blurt out, "I hope he kissed you, because he certainly f...... you."
 
Old Sweat said:
I went into our local beer store to get a two-four this afternoon. The 20-something blonde girl behind the counter took my empties and my cash and gave me my change.

I thought you were going to say, that she said, "See you tomorrow!"  :)

I would like to add that I have heard a 12 pack of beer called a "Scarborough Suitcase".
 
If it had been in any sort of good shape, I would have offered to save her embarassment in front of her manager, by giving her a twoonie for it. ;)
 
Actually it is still legal tender as far as I know. Or am I a little slow on this subject? ;D
 
It was more of an action than what was said.  A lady at walmart had fallen and her husband called for help.  As there were NUMEROUS people helping I stood back and watched.  Two people stood over the lady and both called 911 while looking at each other.  I can imagine the entries were almost identical as they were both asking for the store ID at the same time and giving directions.  Interesting.

Also the staff that walked up to an obviously alert lady and stating I know CPR can I help you.

Training is an ominous thing.
 
ajp said:
Also the staff that walked up to an obviously alert lady and stating I know CPR can I help you.

There was a story this month about your chances of receiving CPR from a civilian in Toronto:
"Torontonians are nice, unless you're having a heart attack:
http://www.healthzone.ca/health/newsfeatures/article/723018--torontonians-are-nice-unless-you-re-having-a-heart-attack?bn=1

Not everyone knows it but, The Good Samaritan Law in Ontario protects you from liability if you are helping a stranger who is experiencing cardiac arrest .

 
sledge said:
Actually it is still legal tender as far as I know. Or am I a little slow on this subject? ;D

I did a search. It was withdrawn in 1996, but could still be used if agreed upon by the two parties. Once  deposited in a bank, it would be returned to the Bank of Canada for disposal. Having said that, I suspect the customer did not set out to do the worker in the beer store any favours by passing it.

The bill was the only one I recall encountering since it was taken out of circulation.
 
Old Sweat said:
I did a search. It was withdrawn in 1996, but could still be used if agreed upon by the two parties.
You can use whatever you want to currency, so long as the two parties agree.  Within limits, I suppose.  I mean, smokes are used in prisons, no?
And of course pick axes will be used for currency when the Zombie Wars come upon us.
 
Said to my wife in a bar by her supposed best friend: (Wife is Malato)

"Move it sand n***er" Friend
"Excuse me?" wife
"What? I can say it cause your husband is in the military."
 
I am waiting for a job offer right now. During a conversation with my friend over the internet, when informed about my decision to re-join the CF, this was his response.
" Yeah, the freedom of civi life really sucks... I hate being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it without asking for permission... :D"
My response, "Yea, your welcome for that on behalf of the CF."
 
Applicant: What do you mean I can't continue processing just because I used drugs?

FDO: We are going to give you a high powered weapon and place you in situations where you could cause more problems than you help solve.

Applicant: But it's only the Reserves.

FDO: Reserves is still CF. Do you know how many Reserves we have overseas right now?

Applicant: I don't know a couple maybe in support roles way in the back.

FDO: (after a choke and gasp) Over 1/3 of all troops overseas right now are Reserves and a lot of them are front line. You can't tell the difference in the dust!

Applicant: Yeah but...

FDO: Sorry, your not getting in today.

Applicant: Thanks, YOU just ruined my chances for CO-OP!!

FDO: Yep I did. I rolled the joint, I sparked it up and I held you down and forced it in your mouth and made sure you inhaled all the way.

Applicant: Ummm...
 
FDO said:
FDO: Yep I did. I rolled the joint, I sparked it up and I held you down and forced it in your mouth and made sure you inhaled all the way.

Man, you should watch out. He could sue you for doing that to him.
 
"There's a band called Asia?" (From the word association thread)

Wow.... just wow...
 
gcclarke said:
FDO: Yep I did. I rolled the joint, I sparked it up and I held you down and forced it in your mouth and made sure you inhaled all the way.
Man, you should watch out. He could sue you for doing that to him.
Or he could end up as a US President    ;D

"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again."
– Bill Clinton

"There were times when I got into drinking, experimenting with drugs. I never understood that line -- the point was to inhale. That was the point."
- Barack Obama
 
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