What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[Journeyman]

While moving at work the other day....

Was anyone startled when you actually moved?  >

 

[PMedMoe]

Was anyone startled when you actually moved?  >

Well yes, I have to do it once in a while to maintain the human facade. 

 

[ENGINEERS WIFE]

The elevator opened and one of the people said "Is the elevator going up?"  Not really dumb but funny as hell.

Speaking of elevators....on our honeymoon cruise in the Caribbean, one of the employees was telling us he was asked, while exiting an elevator at the stern of the boat, "Does this elevator went to the front of the boat?!???!"

Had to explain, they go up and down, not front to back.  >

 

[ajp]

OK....so on a safety promotion sign posted.....well let me describe it first.

It shows two people looking behind a desk at the octopus of wires.  Now forget the image and look at the venue, the poster is hung over a urinal in one of the plastic adds that we see all over the place.  And the statement (remember - forget the image)

"Don't just look at it - DO SOMETHING!"

A+ to my safety rep.  Humour with a double meaning.

 

[xena]

OK....so on a safety promotion sign posted.....well let me describe it first.

It shows two people looking behind a desk at the octopus of wires.  Now forget the image and look at the venue, the poster is hung over a urinal in one of the plastic adds that we see all over the place.  And the statement (remember - forget the image)

"Don't just look at it - DO SOMETHING!"

A+ to my safety rep.  Humour with a double meaning.

That made my Monday.  Thank you very much!

 

[bradlupa]

O.K. i got one now i think that when god is creating people and he farts he creates a stupid person as to the person that I ran into at the gas bar.

A gentleman pulled up and asked "Do you know where Luke Lives"

I replied "who is Luke"

He replied " I cant tell you that information"

I replied that " well then i can't tell you where Luke lives, but good luck in finding him."

 

[templeton peck]

I was at a Greek restaurant with my wife and had an indignant Quebecois couple sitting nearby who were giving the waiter a hard time with pretty much every thing he did. The man asked for a Greek salad, and the waiter, anticipating grief, went to great lengths to explain that this salad consisted of tomatoes, cucumbers and olive - NO lettuce in other words. Of course the salad came and the jackass immediately gets all huffy and  exclaims "his is like no Greek salad I have ever had before!"
"No kidding! Did you think it had fries with gravy and cheese curds?" said the exasperated waiter.
I almost cried and my wife gave me hell for laughing.

 

[observor 69]

Numero Uno top of the list for the most irritating stupid thing I hear every day on every TV channel the "Grey Power" commercial.

Rick Mercer takes it for a spin!  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuXIuD4M2es&feature=related

 

[kratz]

The day is still early, but this one is a contender:

from CTV.ca

PETA wishes Obama hadn't swatted that fly
Updated Thu. Jun. 18 2009 8:36 AM ET

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON -- The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

What next? We can't use worms to fish with? Or step on an ant?

 

[George Wallace]

I belong to PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) and I find the above statements from that other PETA organization completely ludicrous.

 

[OldSolduer]

I bought a Home Theater system a few years ago.
A bunch of us were watching a movie (Robin Williams as the creepy stalker in One Hour Photo. A good track for surround sound) when my wife said:

"Gee its just like being in the theatre!" :-*

I do love her....

 

[mariomike]

Until 2000, when they turned it into a Chapter's, I used to walk to our neighbourhood theatre. It was a palace. I think it accommodated about 1500 people.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runnymede_Theatre

 

[observor 69]

Yea but they did an award winning  job of retaining the old theatre feel in the conversion into a Chapter's.

Great Starbucks on the second floor.

 

[Dissident]

Paraphrasing a private conversation:

[Me]: I would like you, just once, to stand up for us.
[No Name]: I stand up for you guys all the time, you should see the emails I write!

 

[NL_engineer]

I find this one quite amusing:

I overheard some KAFer at lunch today (yes I was in the wire, only for an hour; and I didn't get to Timmies  :), "Why to I have to carry this stupid 9mm"  I was going to say something, but decided against it.

 

[George Wallace]

I find this one quite amusing:

I overheard some KAFer at lunch today (yes I was in the wire, only for an hour; and I didn't get to Timmies  :), "Why to I have to carry this stupid 9mm"  I was going to say something, but decided against it.

Should have asked him/her if you could have it?    >

Makes you wonder how or why some people got into the military.

 

[421_434_226]

OK so this happened a couple of years ago, while we were setting up the PA system for a Change of Command Parade we had a senior member (not a tech) tell us we could not use wireless mics as the medals on personnel attending the parade would attenuate the signal.  ???
He was very serious about this problem, while very amusing after a couple of frustrating attempts at explanation it was just easier to comply.

 

[danchapps]

OK so this happened a couple of years ago, while we were setting up the PA system for a Change of Command Parade we had a senior member (not a tech) tell us we could not use wireless mics as the medals on personnel attending the parade would attenuate the signal.  ???
He was very serious about this problem, while very amusing after a couple of frustrating attempts at explanation it was just easier to comply.

Yet when I used to work in theatre and rock and roll the giant metal truss hanging overhead did nothing? I would have said Ok, and used it anyway.

 

[Messmom]

Well it wasn't today but the best ever was sitting in the Ops Room on board HMCS ******* listening to a radio check being carried out. (Call sign made up, because the memory is the second thing to go.....)

"Alpha Charlie Lima, this Alpha Charlie Lima, how do you read, over?"

Repeat this twice more.

"This is Alpha Charlie Lima, nothing heard, out."

Nobody said a word to him, but we were all wondering what the rest of the task group was thinking!

 

[armyvern]

Well, if it's any consolation ... I too have been known to talk to myself on occasion.  8)

I also have various other little voices in my head whom speak to me.  >