here are some really stupid quotes. i got a kick out of them. enjoy
1 "If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields
2 As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert
3 "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
4 "Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter
5 "I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon
6 We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca
7 "A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn
8 Helpful Warnings: "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children"
9 "The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
10 "We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
11 "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label
12 "The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown
13 "I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush
14 "I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
15 "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine
16 "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
17 "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
18 "Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
19 "I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign
20 "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor
21 The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
Dwight Eisenhower
22 Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.
23 -- Sen. Chris Dodd (D, Conn.), on the Don Imus show, on campaigning
"The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras
24 If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
-- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
25 Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
-- Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)
26 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras Joey Bishop (talk-show host): Would you like to become a regular on the show? Barry Goldwater: No, thank you. I'd much rather watch you in bed with my wife.
27 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy!
-- President Bill Clinton, looking at the recently-discovered Inca mummy "Juanita"
28 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras
29 You read what Disraeli had to say. I don't remember what he said. He said something. He's no longer with us.
-- Bob Dole
30 It was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl. -- Marion Barry
31 You can't just let nature run wild.
-- Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska
32 The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
-- Mike Murphy, adviser to Lamar Alexander
33 I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.
-- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
Dan Quayle Quotes
34 (extending his hand during a campaign stop): I'm Dan Quayle. Who are you?
Woman: I'm your Secret Service agent.
34 "It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment,
it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle
35 "If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle
36 "We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle
37 "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well,
all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle
38 "It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle
39 It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!
-- Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
1 "If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields
2 As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. - Weisert
3 "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
4 "Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter
5 "I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon
6 We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca
7 "A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn
8 Helpful Warnings: "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children"
9 "The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
10 "We apologize for the error in last week's paper
in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
11 "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label
12 "The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown
13 "I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush
14 "I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
15 "We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine
16 "We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
17 "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
18 "Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
19 "I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign
20 "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor
21 The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
Dwight Eisenhower
22 Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.
23 -- Sen. Chris Dodd (D, Conn.), on the Don Imus show, on campaigning
"The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras
24 If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
-- Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.
25 Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
-- Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)
26 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras Joey Bishop (talk-show host): Would you like to become a regular on the show? Barry Goldwater: No, thank you. I'd much rather watch you in bed with my wife.
27 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy!
-- President Bill Clinton, looking at the recently-discovered Inca mummy "Juanita"
28 "The Stupidist Things Ever Said By Politicians" - by Ross and Kathryn Petras
29 You read what Disraeli had to say. I don't remember what he said. He said something. He's no longer with us.
-- Bob Dole
30 It was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl. -- Marion Barry
31 You can't just let nature run wild.
-- Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska
32 The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
-- Mike Murphy, adviser to Lamar Alexander
33 I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.
-- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
Dan Quayle Quotes
34 (extending his hand during a campaign stop): I'm Dan Quayle. Who are you?
Woman: I'm your Secret Service agent.
34 "It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment,
it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle
35 "If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle
36 "We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle
37 "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well,
all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle
38 "It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle
39 It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!
-- Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
