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Re: RIP forces.gc.ca/forum/forum (Army Discussion Forums) The Continuing Saga

...ood thing people were devoting time, attention and brainpower to this, as opposed to wasting time on things like "Will Canada be invaded for its Water?" Haggis was so devoted to organizing this thread, in fact, that his chain of command began to wonder what was really going on in that cubical. Things came to a head when the door bust open and none other than Pradacowboy strode in wearing his tradmark cadpat s.......
 
.....ilk stockings (over his head) and began to ransack the cubicle, until he noticed Army.ca on the monitor, put the trashing on hold and he proceeded to do a virtual Throat Punch and banish a Troll, who lived under a bridge deep in the juristical jurisdiction of j.....
 
...Journeyman.  The delay allowed him to catch Paracowboy red-handed.  "So", he grinned, "We meet again.."  Paracowboy gave him an equally naughty grin, then leapt for the open window leading to a fourth floor fire escape.  K...
 
..eenly aware that they were once again subject to the law of gravity, they also became very aware that there is no fire escape outside the fourth floor window of Haggis's cell,  ... err cubicle. L...
 
...o and behold, when he reagained consciousness, Para/Pradacowboy took a look at the bottle in his hand that he had surrepticiously removed from Haggis' cell,oops, cubicle and noted that no alcohol abuse had been commited, as though the bottle was uncapped, not a drop had been spilled and the bottle was unharmed.  The redhat who witnessed the miraculous jump, on the other hand, was less than amused and so d...
 
....utifully called in the Duty Padre, IN HOC SIGNO, and his apprentice Trinity, to escort our young Trooper to Cells.  Cells to them meant something completely different, and so it was that Pravdacowboy was created in the image of Rasputin, adviser to the Russian.......No wait......wrong story....Darn Boney M.......anyway....off to Cells went our v......
 
...aliant antihero, in a scene strangely reminiscent of Blackadder in the Baron von Richtofen's prison.  Everyone waited with bated breath, for they knew the next scene included the crashing arrival of Lord Flashheart, no doubt to be played by Army.ca's one and only b....
 
...eelzebub stunt double, 3rd Horseman, who proceeded to to describe, in the minutest of details, all of how he single-handedly took on the bad Balkan hordes.  Our shackled friend, who in a scene reminiscent of "A Clockwork Orange", was seated opposite 3rd with his eyes held open by ophthalmic clamps, druelling in boredom, awaiting his (hopeful) rescue by his beloved sidekick j...
 
..orneyman, faithful Baldrick that he is, eager to please yet so unknowing in so many ways of the world.  With the greatest of body odors and strangest of brilliant plans, his mere arrival shocks the common sensical, for he was more likely to end up lost in the Congo than finding this jail, whence his adored superhero strives to resist t.....
 
....emptations, being just back from Afghanistan, where he had gone to become King, Infadel 6, with his Army of 6's: Cobra 6; Tomahawk 6, and a token 9; Echo 9, burst through the viewing screen, right in the middle of a bevy of buxomed blonds belly dancing across the f....
 
... astidious G3's bird table (which, to those not p.s.c. is a large table with a tactical map upon which operations might be planned and controlled).  Why the G3 was being entertained in this particular way when an army.ca bundle of bandits dropped into his lap dance is unknown, but we can extol wild conjecture, in that v...
 
....aluable information was not lost.  Colators were called in and under the supervision of the 'Great One' himself, Teddy Ruxpin, the information highway was kept flowing.  muskrat89 was closer to the door than devil39, so it was his task to keep it secured.  Cool air filled the room, b...
 
before the candles suddenly fluttered in the breeze and blew out. The light curtain was flung open and in walker the DS staff of Army.ca, resplendent in their hooded cassocks and swinging flaming Drambuie's in front of them. Bruce Monkhouse was in the lead, as Sergeant at Arms, with Para/Pradacowboy and I-6 jostling for space just behind. Mike Bobbit, seated in a sedan chair held aloft by Infanteer and several husky members of his French Language course followed behind, leading the eerie yet soulful chanting.

Teddy, stunned at the sudden change of events, threw himself to the floor in front of Mike's guilded chair and asked "to what do we owe this unexpected visit? Planning for RV 2006 proceeds apace and no hitches have been reported, your magnificence!"

"Rise and pay more attention to the posts!" commanded Mike. We are here to celebrate Hot Lips ascension to the ranks of the anointed. I would have offered the celebratory drink, but Haggis got to it first, so instead we must proceed to t.........
 
...he basement of George Wallace (honoured decendant of William Wallace) to dip into his secret stash of fine single malt scotch.  PBI rushed in, with a large tray of glasses, and ran headlong into PPCLI Guy.  Fortunately, the tall redhead is quick on his feet and PBI bounced harmlessly into the arms of Springroll.  Sheepishly, she stood the officer up, took the tray and p...
 
promptly sat down on her butt.  Curse the CF for introducing CF into the CF, my legs haven't hurt like this since n
 
......one could understand it anyway.  The Rabbit has died.  The Recruits are afraid.  Very afraid.  Franko's Monkey is now going to take its' toll on the new DP1 Armoured Crse.  Recce by Death will insure that p.....
 
...ain and suffering will befall all who dare disparage the Springbok!  Luckily, the talkative rookie jerrythunder has escaped the clutches of Recce By Death, and gone to a better place.  MEAFORD! (Did I say "better place"??  Umm lemme think.  Nope!) Not to be cheated, Recce mounts up, with his imaginary friend Franko, and races off in pursuit of the wannabe Highlander.  Q...
 
quickly seeking to escape detection, the would be Highlander ditches the kilt and attempts to apply to the Engineers instead. Driven from CFRC in his pantless state and persued by heckling Highlanders and the Army.ca women, forgetting what happened to the other poser who tried the same stunt in the equipment thread.

With no rabbits to help, the Space Patrol off on a mysterious errand and even Prime Minister Harper otherwise engaged, drinking seems to be the only option left. However, without pants, kilt or sporran, even this option seems out of reach until the resourceful jerrythunder remembers his t......
 
.....hesis on "Living Common-Law in the Military; Or What to do when you come home from EX and the House is Emptied Out."  Forgetting about his shared Bank Account and Credit Cards, our hero squanders not time finding a Replacement Killer to give him a back rub and lather him down.  ArmyRick finds himself with quite a Quagmire and must i.....
 
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