Peoples Attitudes changed when stated I was joining

[MacLeodMP]

I recently joined with the Army and found almost all of my friends to be supportive and all of my family to be negative.
When I told my mother that I would be joining I recivied the following speech

"We have no business in some Afgani civil-war. Why did I raise a son foolish enough to throw his safety into the care of a poorly-run,
Mismanaged and hypocritical Government? How could you give such unquestionable loyalty to some country?"

To which I simply replied "Because 'that country' gave it's unquestionable loyalty to me."

To me, joining the army was just my way of evening the score, and I've never looked back.

 

[baudspeed]

....I recivied the following speech

"We have no business in some Afgani civil-war. Why did I raise a son foolish enough to throw his safety into the care of a poorly-run,
Mismanaged and hypocritical Government? How could you give such unquestionable loyalty to some country?"
...

Mac,
I have received the same *almost* angry confrontation from family. I have found this one hardest to deal with, since I consider myself somewhat read on what is going on, i find it hard to explain it to people who watch the news and only see the 1% of info that makes the news.

I agree on the providing loyalty to a country that has provided it to its people. That was very well put.

 

[Korus]

You know, I got a similar line from the family when I joined, I got it when I announced that I was slated to deploy to Kandahar. I got a tonne of care packages while I was in Afghanistan, and I got that line again after getting back. You're probably not going to change your family's views, and they just don't want you to get killed for what they feel is a pointless cause.. Very few of my friends understand the entire army thing, much less why I want to go back to Afghanistan, but they know it's something I believe in, and are supportive of me.

That's just the way it is.. Most of your friends and family outside the military will never fully understand, and may even seem angry with the choices we make in the Military. But that's just a part of being a soldier.

 

[ClaytonD]

Well, today I asked my teacher to give me a reference for the reserves, she has former military experience (5th Field Regiment) and said that she would be honored and said that she thinks I would be an excellent candidate for the millitary. Probably the best reaction I've gotten so far. It made me feel way better about joining up =D.

 

[patrick666]

It shouldn't matter how others feel, it is not their life. It matters how YOU feel. We all want our families to be proud of us, we want our friends to be proud to know us but you must have pride in yourself before anything.

 

[Collin.t]

I joined because I wanted to, the job is interesting and I like the environment, I love my country but I don't do it for my country, I like my job and I do it well. I don't agree with everything my country does but I will do what I am ask to do.

 

[exsemjingo]

Regrettably, I have more to contribute.
A favorite professor of mine called today and asked how I was doing.  He was less than impressed with my plan to join the army, and it really hurt because I have such respect for him.
He was worried about "this business with Afghanistan", and worried about how my wife and daughters would handle separation during training.  "You mean it's in Montreal and New Brunswick?  Golly."
He has taken for granted the peace that our Military's effort has won.  He has discounted the value of an officer's career.  He has also ignored the economic reality which he perpetuates: too many post secondary students spending too much time and too much money to get degrees for jobs that do not exist.  How else shall I make enough money to live?  He should be proud that I was able to use my degree by being accepted for an officer position.  My wife still cannot use her degree.
As far as having children so young... I hope he is happy that out Canadian fertility rate sets us up for negative growth.
I spent the whole evening feeling disappointed, and thought I would cheer myself up here.

 

[Magravan]

You've got a number of good points. Sometimes people tend to ignore certain facets that they don't care for, and unfortunately, they make the same condemnations regardless of whether they considered 20% or 95% of the story... Do keep in mind that while part of it is what is being seen on TV, another part is that it is natural for those who care about you to try to protect you from what they see as harm. It may not be a conscious effort, but I suspect that much of the disagreement there is because he respects you and cares for your well being.

I don't necessarily tell my children that the reason that they are not allowed to stay out too late, or wander too far is because I am worried that someone will harm them in some way, I simply discourage them from doing so, by setting rules, or becoming upset when they stay out too late and I am forced to worry about them. The underlying reason is still because I care about their safety and well being, even when they are being grounded for a week because they didn't follow the rule.

Try not to let it bum you out too much.

 

[baudspeed]

Well,
Just a small update. I have been interacting with my parents lately (i am almost 30 and have a peer type relationship with them), and though they initially had some deep seated issues, it appears that my confidence in this matter has smoothed things over. Not one of my family members has picked up a book or done deeper research than what they are force fed on the CBC and cable, but at least they are trusting my opinion is valid, and are becomming supportive. Thanks for the info on your experiences. I hope this post helps those that are trying to make the same hard decision that had I made.

 

[Kat Stevens]

I joined at 17. From my Mum I got "don't be first, but don't be last, either."  From Dad, "What do you mean, you're not gonna be a Guardsman?". From friends, "You're signing your life away."
  After 3 years, I'd seen most of our country, plus a little of a few others.  I had nothing in common with my friends at all, who still thought a trip to Vancouver Island was a major adventure.  I don't regret it all.

 

[govenor_mac]

When our son came home in grade 10 saying he WANTED to join the Navy we were estatic.When he graduated grade 12 and said he was JOINING the Navy we were estatic and apprehensive. When he signed on the dotted line we were estatic,apprehensive and so VERY,VERY PROUD! We stand behind him every step of the way. We went through the venting and the'' I want to quit''! phase. Now all we hear is how much he loves it. How could we not be behind him in something he loves and believes in so much.His family and friends are behind him 110%.If and when some day he has to go to the 'sand box' we will stand behind him then too because its the man up above who decides his outcome in life. (be it in the 'sand box' or be it crossing the street).We have to support him in whatever he chooses.

 

[luciano]

The feedback I have gotten has mostly been bewteen neutral and positive with most worrying about my safety and going to the sandbox.

Back in college I was considering joining after college and thought my mom would be the hardest sell. One day when she came in to town we saw a couple members in the green camo gear and she commented that I should do that. Well that was easy.

My dad made a comment that I shouldn't join to my mom before I submitted my application, but since doing my testing has been supportive.

My friends are supportive but hope I will change my mind. A couple interesting comments I got was that green isn't my colour (I'm going army) and that a buddy of mine didn't think I had the attitude which I responded that it could be learned.

 

[proudnurse]

Here is what I have found...

My Mother: You are going to get sent to war, and we do not belong there. (that is a topic all in itself)
                but if this is your choice, I am behind you........ later she just told me she is worried.

My Father: Good for you! I know that you can do it (His parents: WW2 Veterans)

My Grandmother: If your grandfather was here, he would be so proud, as I am of you now.

My coworkers? One reminded me that she is "glad" her son lost his recruitment package. Another co worker? Her boyfriend is serving in Afganistan and she gave me a hug.

So, I have gotten mixed reactions. Me? I am not so concerned with what others say, but I am sure that once everyone sees that I am going to put my heart & soul into it, they will be happy as long as I am happy. I am excited about learning new skills, and also serving my country.

Rebecca

 

[tyrone120]

I get the same sort of reactions from my family and Friends. I am going to serve my country and the needs of others that are less fortunate than me. We need more people in the world that are willing to take a chance on life for the better of others and I'm happy to see there is others out there that think the way I do.
Tyrone 120

 

[Nieghorn]

What a great thread this is!  I think I've wanted to be in the military since my pre-teen days of being an avid reader of history.  In school, I never thought I could do it and worked toward becoming a history teacher.  I'm one of those now (and one of the good ones, re: the comments made above  ), but feeling really bored with the 8-3  -  plus endless hours of 'homework'  - so thinking about doing Reserves when I start an MA degree in Hist.

I'm also one of those people who I think is in tune with what's going on over there, and try to educate my family beyond that which the media shows them.  That is, and I guess always has been, the problem.  If you just rely on the local news to give you the facts, you're lost. 

If (hopefully 'when') I join up, I will also have to deal with less than positive comments from certain members of my family.  However, I think my dad will be impressed, and though my mom will be worried, will be supportive.  I also think my dad's side will be cool as they have a Naval tradition.

. . . I'm sure it'll be a shock to many people, but I've been bored with 'normal' work life for the last four years now and really want a job that's more dynamic and meaningful.  (I won't go into my issues with school teaching, but I eventually want to be a professor, but would like to be in the military for a while at least before that happens.)

Good luck to all who are dealing with the transition and feedback!

 

[tlg]

When my mother and my sister found out I was planning on joining the military (this was last Dec.) they said and I quote "You'll commit suicide if you go to boot camp" to which I replied "Well since I'm not going to boot camp I guess I'm not going to commit suicide". Needless to say I don't talk to either of them much if at all anymore. Most people on the "GOOD" side of the family keep on asking me "Are you sure you want to do this?" to which I reply "What? You think I'm going to commit suicide when I go off to "BOOT CAMP" too?" I live with my step folks and the only one that thinks it's the greatest thing since sliced bread is my father (my step-dad, but he's been around since I was three). My step-mom's mom (makes sense? step-grandmother maybe?) keeps on telling me that she'll come visit me with some general or other she knows, that and she always talks to me now in a very condescending tone. I completed all three parts of the recruiting tests (apt. med. interview) and as of right now I was a conditional offer as long as the medical refferal forms from my past surgeries and my eyes come back clean then I'm good to go.

 

[EXBRIT]

WOW!  This thread brings me back.

I joined the Brits.  August 1978.  Walked into the recruiting office in Newcastle Upon Tyne and asked to join.  (18 days later I was on my way to the Light Infantry Depot as a recruit - 18 days!)

I remember my Father being pissed off.  He had lots of bad memories of the service during his National Service (draft) days.  My Mother amazingly enough was supportive!  Her attitude was "if its what you want to do, try it")  My uncles who all served (IE National Service) were supportive and quite proud.  My friends were a mixed bag.  Some thought it was a good thing and they wished they had the balls to do it whilst a few thought I was bonkers!

Generally Brits had more of a supportive attitude towards the Forces, even the educational system though they were a bit condescending.

The first stop in the training system was three days at what was called the Recruit Selection Centre at Sutton Coalfield outside of Birmingham (if memory serves correctly).  There you spent three days seeing films and demos on the various trades in the Brit Army and sat more sophisticated banks of tests then what you took at the recruiting Centre.  On the third day you selected your trade and they would tell you if you were appropriate for that particular job.  (You gave three selections).

One thing I will allways remember was just before being dismissed on the first day the Sgt Maj in charge got us together and told us (or words to the effect)  "lads, this is your first night away from Mummy and Daddy.  Some of you are going to get the sniffles, some of you are thinking maybe your friends wont accept you 'cause your hair is now short and you wear a uniform.  :crybaby:  Some of your plonker friends will call you or have allready called you a ####ing fascist!  You may want to allready go AWOL cause of this.  Dont.  You know why.  Cause all that stuff they called you will mean nuthin' when your sippin' a good beer, watching the sun set over Hong Kong harbour!"

And he was right.

When I purchased my way out of the Brits (700 pound sterling circa 1984) and moved to Canada I joined the CF.  Attitudes around me were why would I join up a second time and why the CF.  There seemed to be no tradition or respect for the CF.  I seriously considered jacking it in and returning back to UK.

By the way, I'm, glad I stayed.

 

[Pvt. Pukepail]

My entire family has been completely supportive- not surprising since I come from a military household (father in the army, grandfather in the airforce, aunt who attended RMC).  Mommykins however while supportive, has voiced some trepidation (what with the current situation in Afghanistan, and the fact that this is the first time since practically Korea that our troops have been coming home in body bags on a regular basis, so it's not surprising).

Most of my friends and college instructors who I keep in contact with have been very supportive as well.  Some of them don't really understand my reasons for joining, but do appreciate the fact that I'm willing to put my ass on the line to defend the country that my ancestors helped build.  A few of my reservist buddies are jacked up about it, most of them giving me the same "About god-damned time you did something with your life," speech when I tell them.

A few of my friends have been less supportive, but I tend to classify them in the 'ignorant civ' category.  "Why would you want to be a peacekeeper?"  "Don't you know Canada doesn't even have a real military?" "The army?  Did you get drafted or something?" "Aww, you want to be a fascist puppet!?"  The criticism from those types I tend to ignore wholly.  The opinions of my friends have never held a lot of weight with me anyway.

All in all, everyone whom I've told I'm enlisting have been pretty supportive which is good, all of my family is backing me and all of the friends who I do care about are supportive, so it's all good.  I just don't want to let them down now.

 

[medaid]

Oh boy...this definitely brings back memories.

First off I had the aspiration to join the military in general since I was a toddler. Both my great grandfather and grandfather had been generals, 2 uncles on my mother's side were officers, and my own father was a light colonel in the TW Marines.

My father passed away in the line of service when I was one, so lets just say my mother was not excited at all when I said I was signing on the dotted line. She cried, argued and generally had a hard time accepting that fact, until I told her that the CF operates predominately at that time, in Peacekeeping operations ( I know I know my bad...I lied) and there was no worries that I would be sent overseas unless I wanted to (which I whole heartedly did). She eventually came around, but reluctantly let me go and joined the ranks.

Now... my friends... none of which I was friends with during high school are my friends anymore. The area I come from... sadly to say I describe them as truly ignorant of anything that had to do with the Forces in general. When I went to high school, I was in Cadets (I was one of the good ones  thank you VERY much  ). Every Remembrance Day we would have a ceremony at the gym in my school. We would get the usual sneers and jeers from the ignorant teenagers, and not surprisingly my friends. When I told some of them I was joining, I got the ' So you want to go off and kill people now?'  or  ' wow...you've gotta be the dumbest person I've ever met! ' or words to that effect with more vulgarisms and swearing. Of course we all cannot forget the obvious!!! 'You cant get a real job, or get into a real school. THAT is why you're joining the ARMY!' Yup...they ALL thought the only place to go in the military was the ARMY.
It was really sad during the last 2 years of high school when I was going through the stages, calling the recruiting office on my breaks lol.  It always puzzled me why my community was soo ignorant. My high school alone had more then a hand full who had served in the military and perished (this was a long span of time, not talking about just the recent something odd years). One of the alumnus that I remembered the most, was a Captain in the airforce, who bought his piece of the farm when he was on a training ex overseas in his CF-18.

In college and university. Anonymity seemed to be the key. It appears most places, especially at community colleges (or at least the one I went to) there are many politically active students who doesn't seem to have anything better to do, EXCEPT bash the military, the war...and shouting out random slogans such as 'CANADA OUT OF IRAQ!' or 'CANADA IS IN AFGHANISTAN FOR THE OIL'  I shake my head and walk away. Over all negative negative response. My school mates always ask me the stupidest of questions i.e. 'so are you a sniper?' ' are you a Navy Seal?' 'are you going to go to Iraq and kill some women and children?' (Yes...these were actual questions, and I guess most of us have heard them). It seemed funny to me all that time because a) I was in the Army not the Navy b) I was a Med Tech and had nothing to do with killing! *UGH* no matter how much I tried to explain...it was just pointless towards the end.

Finally...my relationships have been a little wonky too. Some girls hook up because they like the uniform. Some girls stop hooking up after they find out that I wear a uniform. its all really funny in the end. The girl I'm with now (the love of my life) have been extremely supportive all these years. Except when I told her I was signed up for a Roto to the box (which isn't happening anymore... my old Ops O took me off because I didn't speak a lick of French, and it was a predominately Franco Roto. Yes... out here on the West Coast, not many of us do!), she balled her eyes out for hours, and begged me to release! She still does it almost everytime she hears that we've lost one of us over there... I guess I can't blame her...

Anyways....negative negative negative...and yes ppl DEFINETLY change their attitudes when they found out that I had joined up.

 

[spartan031]

Why are you joining the CF?

Because I need a greencard to get into the marines.

Why don't you get a greencard?

No money and it takes years plus right now I'm bored.

Oh.