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More and more funnies.. vol: something...

Nice! RT @DenVan:
Harper Majority: HATCHED. Kate & Will: MATCHED. Osama bin Laden: DISPATCHED What a week! Cc: #CDNPoli
 
They've begun already.  Received an email from my brother today about a new cocktail...


The Seal Team 6


GIN laden...2 shots...and a splash of sea water.
 
A german news TV station did made a little error yesterday:
n24fail.jpg


:rofl: :brickwall: :rofl:

Regards,
ironduke57
 
Nope. That´s a Phaser. There are Bath´lets around a Klingon skull and also it´s "Maquis" Special Operations. That´s the emblem of an hypothetical SEAL 6 team from the Maquis of the Startrek DS9 universe.

Probably someone just googled "SEAL Team 6 emblem" or such and chose the wrong one.

Regards,
ironduke57
 
ironduke57 said:
Nope. That´s a Phaser. There are Bath´lets around a Klingon skull and also it´s "Maquis" Special Operations. That´s the emblem of an hypothetical SEAL 6 team from the Maquis of the Startrek DS9 universe.

Probably someone just googled "SEAL Team 6 emblem" or such and chose the wrong one.
Sure enough.
 
Note to self: fun with banks: Do not cancel credit cards prior to  death!   

This is so priceless and so easy  to see happening - customer service, being what  it is today!

A lady died this  past January, and CBIC bank billed her for February and March for their annual  service charges on her credit card,  and then added late fees and interest  on the monthly charge. The balance  had been $0.00, now is somewhere around  $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the CBIC Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

CBIC:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe you should  turn it over to collections.'

CBIC:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has  been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

CBIC:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

CBIC:
'Excuse  me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about  her being dead?'

CBIC:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

CBIC:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

CBIC:
(Stammer)  'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her great  nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

CBIC:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

CBIC:
'Our  system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

CBIC:
'Well,  the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

CBIC:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney
Plot Number 1049.'

CBIC:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what  the f**k do you do with dead people on your planet?' 




 
Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says
CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock. ...
- http://www.galacticempiretimes.com/2011/05/09/galaxy/outer-rim/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html

Read also the comments!  ;D 

Regards,
ironduke57
 
"I'm in my mid-60s. Too young for Medicare. Too old for women to care" - Kinky Friedman
 
ironduke57 said:
Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says- http://www.galacticempiretimes.com/2011/05/09/galaxy/outer-rim/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html

Read also the comments!  ;D 

Regards,
ironduke57


lightSaber.jpg
 
A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. 

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto, 'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. 'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. 'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the fuck do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face.

"Air Canada."
 
[quote author=57Chevy [/quote]

Hahahahhahahaaa.........I admit I laughed hard, as "Hello" is one of my guilty pleasures.... ;D
 
So this lady goes into the grocery store...

She picks up soup for one (1).....
Salad for one(1).....
Dessert for one (1)....

She brings her wares to the checkout boy.

He scans each item, looks at her, bats his eyelashes and says:

"Listen...are you single?"

She says, "Why yes, how could you tell?"

He says...."Because you're Fu(king ugly...."
 
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