Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

[Trooper Hale]

On calling any NCO "Sir"
"Why the f##K you call me Sir? I work for a living!"

 

[andpro]

On my reserve BMQ from one of the corprals: "There's no such thing as a stupid question ... unless it's really stupid."

 

[K_Johnston]

This one came from my CO, equivalent of a Major, in reference to a group of lower NCO's who were getting into trouble.  This came after he snapped on some Lt's for not doing their jobs, and not being able to tell him what exactly their jobs were when asked.
"Those idiots have no reason to be here.  They dont know what you are doing , they dont know how things run here, and they know shit all about the army in general.  They would have made perfect Lt's...."

 

[Danjanou]

This one came from my CO, equivalent of a Major, in reference to a group of lower NCO's who were getting into trouble.  This came after he snapped on some Lt's for not doing their jobs, and not being able to tell him what exactly their jobs were when asked.
"Those idiots have no reason to be here.  They dont know what you are doing , they dont know how things run here, and they know crap all about the army in general.  They would have made perfect Lt's...."

From one old "Starshina" to another, nice to see some things are the same in all armies. Oh and a belated welcome to the boards.

 

[sgtdixon]

Family Day was saturday at my unit
all the kids got to run an obstacle course, take a ride in the cougar and halftrack, fire the C6, C9, C7, M203 and other toys in the SAT.
So, my 9 yr old sister approches the MCpl running the SAT
Sister: MCpl, I wanna fire a machine gun
MCpl: well heres the C9
S: No, i want the machine gun wth balls!
MCpl: well then, a future trooper eh, heres the C6.
Mcpl then instructs on firing the weapon, loads scenarion on the system and lets the kids have at'er
Sister: Target, 300yds, next to the group of trees!
MCpl: Dixon, your sister is switched on, think she'd go LER when shes 16
..
range starts lighting up target.
S: Get Some! Get Some!
SgtMaj H: Dixon, thats SALH Material, whats wrong with you.


yea, rambling pointless, and you'd had to have been there, but it was pretty badass to see my sister rockin on the C6 at age 9

 

[Caleix]

During my BMQ, we were practicing on the SAT sims for a while...on this one scenario and my buddy who was just blasting away at this little black figure up on top of this hill... after emptying 2 mags into it the MCpl in charge yelled out...."Who da f*** is shooting the goddamned tree on that hill?!!!" my buddy just looks at me and says....."naa, thats got to be a dirka dirka...." then looks down his sights again and lets out a whispered cuss...then the MCpl just walked up to him and slowly took the rifle out of his hands lol.

 

[polo]

On BMQ about saluting.

In the classroom, noone puts their hand up to ask any questions and the Srg knows someone has a question, so he says come on guys, there's no such thing as a stupid question.

A hand goes up...

Srg: "Pte Bloggins what's your question?"
Pte: "Do we salute the enemy officers in the field then?"
Srg: "Well, I guess there is ONE stupid question."

 

[George Wallace]

What are noone and Srg?

And the answer should have been "Yes".  Enemy officers are given the same respect as any Allied officer.  It would be proper to salute them.

Now you ought to go back to your BMQ notes and study them again, and learn the Rank System off by heart.

 

[Timmy!]

"You are a spent casing."

"There is no I in team.. but there is a me" Engineer on basic.



Me(as ARSO) on the range with Pte Screw Up..

Me: Pte are you OKAY with your handeling drills of the C7?
Pte: Ah I think so...
Me: Dear God all might...

I finshed half a pack of smokes when he left the mount.




Me in front of the dispatch desk with Chris...

Me: Give me a "V" *both make the shape of the V and said "V"
     Give me a "O" *same deal*
     Give me a "R" *same deal*
     What does that spell?
Chris: VOR!!!




"Troops...stop pissing me off. I only have two smokes for the rest of the day."

 

[George Wallace]

"Troops...stop pissing me off. I only have two smokes for the rest of the day."

That's OK......It is after noone (Old English for 12:00 pm)!

 

[Timmy!]

Sorry Georage...I don't follow.... need beer.

 

[K_Johnston]

From one old "Starshina" to another, nice to see some things are the same in all armies. Oh and a belated welcome to the boards.

Thank you, and it is nice to know we weren't the only ones with Lt's and a few others who amazed us with there levels of.....lets call it intelectual ability (or lack of).

What are noone and Srg?

And the answer should have been "Yes".  Enemy officers are given the same respect as any Allied officer.  It would be proper to salute them.

Now you ought to go back to your BMQ notes and study them again, and learn the Rank System off by heart.

Not sure about how it is here, but were told sometimes yes, sometimes no.  If the area was secure, and behind the line than yes.  If it was near the front, or there could possibly be snipers around, we were told not to.  We were told the sniper may be able to find the ranking officer by who doesnt salute the enemy officer. (Like if myself and other NCO's and low end officers salute an enemy Captain, but my Major doesnt.)

Also remember one that my Sergeant Major said when I was a Sergeant (and I used after that) to those who dont jump during para training, and those who hesitate.  "What seems to be the problem?  You dont want to jump?  Too bad, everyone jumps here, even if it isnt voluntary"  Usually after that, they dont hesitate as long.  Sometimes we also stage that with someone who has jumped before, and we kick them out of the plane.  None of the new people even pause after that.

 

[Danjanou]

Thank you, and it is nice to know we weren't the only ones with Lt's and a few others who amazed us with there levels of.....lets call it intelectual ability (or lack of).

вы радушны

On the same vein during RV85 Wainwright (yes I’m that old). A British RE (with green commando beret no less) WO1 (CWO equivalent) part of the training team sent over to demo the Giant Viper (BTW thud thumpers did we ever end up buying it?) literally floored the Sgts Mess with this classic.

“The only reason I know to follow a junior officer is idle curiosity.”

 

[George Wallace]

In the Field, and especially in a Battle, there would be no saluting.  If someone had captured a senior officer and brought him/her back, the proper compliments would be made.  If one was on a visit to........say China, and in uniform, it would be proper to salute an 'enemy' officer, as it would if the encounter were at the UN in New York.  So in the end....yes it would be proper......just depends on the situation.  ;D

 

[ExSarge]

During a fire fight in Viet Nam, after receiving a minor wound to the hand (read scratch) from a Chicom grenade.

Me; hunkered down behind a fallen log: "Hey Doc I've been hit, come on over here and take a look at this!"

Plt Medic; Trying to get real small behind a tree: "I can see it from here. Take two aspirin, put a bandaide on it and call me if it falls off!"

 

[AmmoTech90]

demo the Giant Viper (BTW thud thumpers did we ever end up buying it?) literally floored the Sgts Mess with this classic.

Yep,

Think we fired the last one RV92

D

 

[zanshin]

OK, this one isn't huge, but I get a chuckle out of it every time I think of it.

On CLC in Aldershot in 90, we were in the mess one day for lunch and a coursemate of mine (a certain CPL from 56 FES - hey JFK -  lord, I haven't seen you in years...) dropped his melmac sp? cup (what is melmac, anyway?).  I don't think it had even hit the ground when he screamed at it...

"Steady Up!  How long you been a f**kin cup?!!"

I've used that line on things I've dropped for years now (although I edit it a wee bit in accordance with the civilian surroundings I might be in).

;D
Mark

edited to remove his name (I just read back on the front page of this thread that I shouldn't have added it...  sorry...)  :-[

 

[medicineman]

What happened to someone on extras - said defaulter was told to police up all the cigarette butts.  When they had done so, they were subsequently ordered to put them through a full parade, to include markers, officers, inspection, march past in column of route, advance in review order and march off.  They were ordered to discipline butts that were non-conformist, out of step or just generally dopey in nature and action.  On the bright side, they were too busy giving orders to have to hum the band music...

MM

 

[Fraser.g]

Yep,

Think we fired the last one RV92

D

Ya think right, atleast it fired.

 

[AmmoTech90]

Ya think right, atleast it fired.

Yeah it fired...not sure if it functioned as intended.  It may not have been the RV92 one, but I remember seeing one fire, land, sit there for 30 minutes until the intrepid sapper ran out with some safety fuse and a det...then it functioned