Living with an OSI.

[Bass ackwards]

It would be interesting to see how many faked cases are occurring in the civilian world – especially in the US where litigation is as prevalent as breathing.  When you have a situation where medicine, the legal system, and insurance companies are each multi-billion dollar industries, the invitation to corruption and lies is wide open.  Sadly, Canada is following our US neighbours a little too closely in this regard.  When there's money to be made, people of low morals will do anything to get it.....

I've been working in industrial settings for the last decade and a half. Union shops. It is all too common to hear some big, able-bodied man (who's just been barked at by the boss) to say "Frack it -I'll just go on stress leave" and as often as not, they manage to show up with a signed doctor's note. These are individuals who say and do this with no shame whatsoever and are invariably lazy arseholes who just want some paid time off.
I don't know what these people say or do at the doctors office but I've seen plenty of guys get away with this. Perhaps it's because they're dealing with civilian doctors who have less experience with genuine mental trauma...?

It is really galling because -as Grey matters points out- it diminishes the veterans and emergency services types who genuinely are hurting.

 

[mariomike]

I've been working in industrial settings for the last decade and a half. Union shops. It is all too common to hear some big, able-bodied man (who's just been barked at by the boss) to say "Frack it -I'll just go on stress leave" and as often as not, they manage to show up with a signed doctor's note. These are individuals who say and do this with no shame whatsoever and are invariably lazy arseholes who just want some paid time off.
I don't know what these people say or do at the doctors office but I've seen plenty of guys get away with this. Perhaps it's because they're dealing with civilian doctors who have less experience with genuine mental trauma...?

It is really galling because -as Grey matters points out- it diminishes the veterans and emergency services types who genuinely are hurting.

Bass, the City of Toronto recently ( 2005 ) wrote stress leave into the collective agreement:

"Stress:
45.07 Following a difficult or critical call (as defined by the ambulance crew) a minimum of one (1) hour of out-of-service time will be guaranteed following completion of the call and clearing of the hospital.
In cases of a difficult and/or critical call if the ambulance crew feels that they are unable to complete the remainder of their shift as a result of the impact of the call, they will be booked out of service and allowed to leave their shift without penalty to their sick bank, lieu bank and/or vacation bank.
If, in the opinion of the Paramedic’s own physician and/or supervisor, the ambulance crew requires additional time and the ambulance crew is scheduled to work the day immediately following the incident, the crew or individual crew member as the case may be, may be excused from duty for up to two (2) consecutive days following the incident without loss of pay or benefi ts and without penalty to their sick bank, lieu bank and/or vacation bank.
For each stress claim the employer shall complete the appropriate WSIB documentation if the diffi cult or critical call results in an absence from the workplace beyond the day of the incident, or necessitates health care intervention."

Note: A "day" is 12 hours.


American Journal of Orthopsychiatry
Gerald Goldberg, PhD, CPsych
( Commencing October 14, 2010, Dr. Lori K. Gray will be joining Toronto EMS as the new staff Psychologist.
To replace Dr. Goldberg who recently retired. )
University of Toronto
Toronto Emergency Medical Services:
"Exposure to Human Tragedy, Empathy, and Trauma in Ambulance Paramedics":
http://www.nca-integration.amedd.army.mil/articlesofinterest/paramedicstrauma.pdf

"The most commonly reported events defined by respondents as traumatic for themselves were suicides and
violence against children."

“A good partner is 99% of the job.”

Marc Colbeck worked as a paramedic for the City of Toronto EMS for 13 years.:
http://www.criticalstress.com/?page_id=220

Tema Conter Memorial Trust was created by Vince Savoia, a former City of Toronto Paramedic:
http://www.tema.ca/Mulit-Media.html

Real-life stories:
http://www.tema.ca/Bruce_20Gallager.pdf
http://www.tema.ca/Impact_Statements.pdf
http://www.tema.ca/Mike.pdf

Controversial issues:
http://www.tema.ca/Controversy.html

Peer Support Team:
http://www.torontoems.ca/main-site/service/peersupport.html

Armed Forces Resources:
http://www.tema.ca/Military.html

Resources:
http://www.tema.ca/RESOURCES.html

"Post-traumatic Stress Reactions Following Motor Vehicle Accidents":
http://www.aafp.org/afp/990800ap/524.html
"Annually, more than 3.5 million persons in the United States are injured in a motor vehicle accident, and nearly 42,000 die as a result of their injuries."

"More than at any time in the past, Canada’s military today is alert and concerned about PTSD":
http://www.torontosun.com/comment/columnists/peter_worthington/2010/11/04/15973511.html

 

[Cdnleaf]

A back injury is a million times easier to fake.  I've said it before, anybody who willingly walk around with this label for a few extra clams a month, needs a different kind of mental health attention.  I know we've taken great strides forward from the days of being immediately culled from the herd to stop the infection spreading, and the inevitable canteen innuendo.  I felt like a cow with BSE.

:+1:  The medical system is extremely in tune with OSIs and treatment. I mentioned on my blog that the meds alone would undo a 'normal' person.  Equally in peer groups / discussions, a faker would be outed pretty quick. I have learned a great deal from the civilian EMS, police, firefighters that I have met; including a person who was a hazmat first responder. Anyways, heading to an OSISS meeting / g'night all.

 

[dogger1936]

I've come to a better conclusion on people faking PTSD. I don't care. If somehow a "Russ Williamsesque" character can bluff/act his way through 8 DR's (some the best in their field) fake panic attacks during thearpy (having control to make yourself break out in a sweaty mess and puking...which would be a pretty impressive feat.)

Yes there is no doubt there is someone who is a physcopath who can coinvince everyone.

The fact is I never once had issues from any of my peer's, cause they don't doubt me. The know me have seen me in bad states and see me daily either messed up on my pill's or somedays having a bad day with my office door locked.

PTSD faking? I know the numbers would be really low. And anyone who could pull it off  deserve a Oscar. As trained actors have issues crying on cue......sweating/ puking on cue would be impressive.

 

[EtriusQuill]

Well my first post figured I'd share;

I've never been downrange, I never even finished BMQ, I found my mom who attempted suicide and died from it later after severe brain damage. There is more but I don't see a point in it. I used to be able to talk about it casually but not anymore. I just feel this is important.

I don't see how anyone would WANT to fake this. On base I was diagnosed with severe depression. I couldn't stay asleep, constantly had to clean my bedsheets because I would soak it in sweat. I was exhausted all the time, and even in bmq sleeping hours...i got far less. I didn't get the help I needed when I asked for it and 6.5 weeks I tried to end it all. I was sent home for sick leave and my "girlfriend" or whatever you want to call her stayed over one night, she woke me up because she was terrified, I was trembling uncontrollably and violently and sweating profusely.

I ended up moved over to a unit called CAC where they send people going to attached postings, serious charges, and "special cases."
I went from being around friends to having my own room/pod in blue sector by myself with no one around. Sleeping meds etc.

I had other recruits actually ask me what to say to their staff/medical staff....I don't know WHY...I can only guess at their intentions. One of my old platoon mates told me why the hell I was still there, whats wrong with me etc. that I should leave. As if what happened would be better out, it's not. It's far worse. I've lost my career, and I signed a voluntary release - if you want to know about the stigma, I think it still exists. I tried to get help but was ignored, because I was a recruit and not a full fledge member. I wish I had never said a thing. I didn't know what it was until I got home and saw my own doctor. I see a specialist and was told that I have PTSD from what happened with my mom.

I remember the last words my PO said to me before I left CFLRS, that I deserved better then this.

 

[Cdnleaf]

Etrius, I'm treading lightly in commenting however wanted to at the same time. From what you described; you arrived Basic with a serious medical condition that was unresolved and/or not acknowledged prior to commencing.  This manifested itself in somatic issues, which sounds consistent with night panic attacks (excess stress will do that.)  Resulting in a diagnosis and treatment of depression and after some time you voluntarily released.
Separating you from the pack, with your own room was a responsible move IMO, in lieu of the sleep issues.  I find the voluntary release part curious and want to suggest that you may have had the opportunity to work through the issues (while getting paid,) with a hope of being recoursed.  I would encourage you to see the positive in the new awareness of the issue to overcome.  Hindsight is 20/20, get better and give things another go or find employment that will be more beneficial to your recovery. All the best, Dan.

 

[mariomike]

I've never been downrange, I never even finished BMQ, I found my mom who attempted suicide and died from it later after severe brain damage. There is more but I don't see a point in it. I used to be able to talk about it casually but not anymore. I just feel this is important.

I'm a retired paramedic. I am not sure how old you were at the time, but we carried teddy bears in the ambulance for calls such as you describe, when they involve children over the age of three. I remember seeing a little girl with so much blood on her that, at first, I thought she had been shot too.
"The object of the program is based on a proven concept that the psychological impact of a traumatic situation can be minimized in both the short and long term if the child's attention can be diverted from the situation. This is accomplished by providing a teddy bear to the child, thereby transferring the child's focus from the stress of the trauma to the comfort of the teddy bear."

I guess that's true. We never saw any of the kids again, but sometimes I wonder if they turned out ok.

 

[Turner]

Hey Dan (cdnleaf), I read on your blog that you went to Meadow Creek. What is that?

 

[Cdnleaf]

The link is on the left under Royal Ottawa Hospital.  Alcohol recovery / post detox etc.  Program was really good, food was really bad. Didn't meet any celebrities, but alot of great people.

 

[dogger1936]

I think it would actually come as a complete surprise if there were no cases of troops faking PTSD. I know of 2 people who were being "coached" as to how to act, what to say etc. I truly feel sympathetic towards those diagnosed with PTSD, what I feel to those trying to milk the system be "faking" a mental illness cannot be printed here.

Well if you know of these people being "coached" why have you not done the approperate thing and turn them in for fraud?

 

[MPwannabe]

^ Agreed.
Something of that caliber goes beyond the 'buddy' system of not turning in other soldiers in. Those who were 'coached' and those doing the 'coaching' should all be charged.

Curious question to any Americans on the board: Are there many people you hear 'faking' PTSD or an OSI in the U.S.? I know the tours for you guys are longer, and I can see why people would try to get out of going on tours for a year at a time, after having already done several.

 

[Greymatters]

Well if you know of these people being "coached" why have you not done the approperate thing and turn them in for fraud?

Unit loyalty and loyalty to friends and coworkers is one thing - but knowledge of fake medical claims is not something to be loyal about.  It doesnt say much for the character of the people doing it either.  By staying silent you support these people and screw over every soldier with legitimate injuries.  Not exactly something to be proud of.

 

[dogger1936]

So anyway it's been a while I figured I drop back with a update. Feeling pretty good today actually....most of the reason I'm looking at army stuff after work!

Finally after months of not getting better the decided to scrap my medications and try something new. So basically my life will be a crapshoot for the next few weeks as a phase pills out and bring pills in....yikes. I'm trying to be positive about it and look at the pain as a move forward. However I'm quite scared to let go of my little red pills that have helped me quite a bit....I just really don't wanna go to "that place"  I was in before.

Work is still being good...however with new boss's it's not about what I DID for them on the battle field but what I did for them LATELY. Things are a little strained there....but it's given me a great look at the fact that there is no way I can continue on in a different trade. To be perfectly honest I was riding on my Laural's I accomplished in war, now it's a reality check that "hey buddy...the wars over" and now I'm being expected to perform as I was before. Which is never going to happen.

One of the officers in my unit jeep's approaching me asking what my restrictions are.  I don't have any, as the doctors here in Pet are notorious for either going overboard on restrictions or pushing for the medical release. I refuse to deal with any of them. There's a good NCO that works there that I go see if necessary. I find he understands my reluctance to go the tcat pcat route as I'm "playing my cards", it's all about 2% a year for my family right now.

I have decided that I am done with the deployments over and over and that I will not be a great soldier to retain. However I am going to remain as long as humanly possible to put my family's needs ahead of everything else.If they don't want to give me a DVA pension each month, they will have a heck of a time releasing me quickly!

I'm hoping these new pill's stop the dreams. The Dr was amazed I was still standing strait at the dose  I was on. And it did nothing for me. Fingers crossed this new batch will help.

Still waiting on my posting. And part of the reason I'm avoiding TCAT/PCAT. This posting I'm looking at as my retirement posting. My pipe dreams of continuing my career are coming to a close. While taking one day at a time I'm also looking to put my best interest first.

Other than that Lot's of shrink appointments that I am finding counter productive.  I really am getting sick of talking about some stuff. We still have not got to trauma treatment. It's a slow weekly process with little results for myself.

Panic attacks puking etc wer prevalent as I Was sent out west to be a OPI on a project dealing with Afghanistan...While I basically had control of the board and my word was taken as gospel, I spent much time puking between sessions, panic attacks etc. I was still thanked quite a bit before I left for my knowledge. That felt pretty good.

 

[MPwannabe]

It seems like you're making good progress Dogger, kudos to you. My cousin has some of the same symptoms as you do, and his biggest support through all of it has been his wife and kids. The only advice I can suggest is keep putting your family first. I've seen other soldiers with OSI's hurt their family indirectly through self-destruction. You're already doing what I just suggested, but I just thought it needed to be said for others to hear.
Keep trucking man, eventually it will get better. I work with soldiers and have family with these kind of injuries, and I know that although they will never truly go away, they can be treated. Scars fade but never disappear right? You're working hard towards recovery, and I'm sure you're an inspiration to the other people who read these boards who have similar injuries.

Keep on fighting,
MPwannabe

 

[Cdnleaf]

Thanks for the update Dogger. Hang tough during the meds turn around. It took a while before mine were in sync and things are good now. I said to my GP last winter that it felt like I was 'Death by Recovery,' with all the meetings etc. I came to the realization prior to Homewood that getting better might not mean staying in. 2 x tcats and now pcat is just going through. Take care of yourself and family first / the rest will fall into place. All the best, Dan. 

 

[Turner]

Switching drugs is a tough thing. Your body gets used to the old ones so you don't really feel the side effects but when you start new stuff you have to go through the "kinks" all over again. It sucks. But once they get a grip on your system they should do the job. I used to be on a drug that caused weight gain so I complained like crazy after gaining 30 pounds and I was switched to another drug that does the same thing without the side effect of weight gain. But it has the side effect of not sleeping at all so I guess you gotta chgoose your demons!
Good luck with the drug change dogger.

 

[Wookilar]

Dogger, thanks for the update.

I have to agree with both Dan and Turner. Going on new meds always sucks (has for me at any rate), but once you stabilize on them things look much better. I picked Turner's devil, the weight, in favour of getting more sleep. Funny thing was , the more I stayed awake, the more I ate lol. Have to sweat my arse off 5 days a week to keep it in check, but sleeping through the night is so sweet after so long without.

As for the P-Cat/T-Cat, that damn T-Cat stops absolutely everything from happening. My P-Cat change is in the works right now, not quite sure where I will end up, but I'm hoping I stay within trade specs. Once it's done though, and I end up on the right side of my career mangler, posting and promotions are "go" again.

Here's hoping we all keep our sticks on the ice.

Wook

 

[OldSolduer]

I'd like to take this opportunity to say to you all who are suffering from OSIs:

Its a good thing you have connected with each other. The understanding that you all have on the situation, as you've all gone through it, is very beneficial and certainly reflects the principle of "mutual support" Well done to all of you!

Keep up the good work. Support and encourage each other to get well.

 

[Turner]

Thanks Jim, good words of encouragement.

 

[dogger1936]

So a moment to report back I figured I would. Maybe someone will see this and gain some peace out of it, who knows.

So it's been over a year now since I had to march myself into the UMS. I survived a year like this, so I'm kinda pleased in myself cause this has not been easy shit.

I'm currently still being posted away where I suspect I will finally end my career after a few years. It's a scary thought to drop this kind of paycheck but life always has a way of working so I try not to worry about it much.....having very heavy anxiety daily though...that ain't easy!!
I'm still very jumpy 24/7, huge angry outbursts that fortunately I've been able to not do to my family. However many apologises and forgiveness at work. I harbour a ton of anger towards a officer who got people killed. And it is a cancer I just can't seem to let go of. However I'm slowly working on it weekly with my shrinks.

Another shrink I was seeing has left the area and I am currently scheduled to go see a new one. The last one ruined my Christmas by changing my pills around in a dramatic way putting me back to a square -1 spot that I never want to see again. Luckily for me my wife had enough sense to give me my old dosage of my old meds and once I came back out of it I went in and seen them to NOT ever take those other pills again. It was truly 3 weeks of hell.

The nightmares don't stop. They put me on a nightmare stopping super pill that I'm convinced is a goddam placebo cause it sure didn't work for me. I've had the pleasure of pissing myself in my sleep from a nightmare. Such a great thing to have your wife up changing the bed cause her husband pissed himself. Embarrassing as heck.

I got flighty with a VAC rep who called to tell me my condition would stabilise. I asked him what he meant  ans he told me it would get as good as it was going to get at the 1 year mark. I lost my ****. totally 100% lost it. I still have to call to apologise about that one yet. I now he didn't mean anything by it.Just a poor choice of words.

My memory hasn't improved at all. I'm certain it's something that will be with me for life. Pardon the pun but to add insult to injury my new shrink warned that if i miss one more appointment I would have to go start the process of seeing someone all over again.......this is the person giving me pills!! yet adding some more stress to my life. Thanks Dr. I've tried my best but have missed 2 appointments. It doesn't matter if I set up a ton of stuff to remind me...sometimes I forget by the minute. Its a scary things.

I'm continually being forced to talk about stuff that I just dint want to talk about right now. Bringing up that stuff from the past puts me in a downspell for weeks. And with a upcoming move I just can't allow that to happen. Suddenly I'm not playing by their rules and one shrink wants to put me on tranquilizers cause I'm too adj etated!! I trust these Dr's but things are just getting bad on that front. I've had about as much as I can take from the shrinks.

they keep telling me to stop avoiding talking about this stuff like it's a kid not telling about a candy they ate. They really don't understand I find.

Sleeping medication has just continued to increase and increase.. Currently  Cannot sleep without them...I've tried. I hate being hooked on pills to function.

Anyway on a good note getting out in the great outdoors has been really helping all winter and I'm really looking forward to spring. This new posting is feeling like the fresh start I need.

I've had every reason to quit but I'm moving on. the best I can. Trying things on my own like meditation.