Michael Dorosh
Army.ca Veteran
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 410
A couple of recent discussions here have me wondering (and this is specific to the Reserve world, as I am unfamiliar with the Regular Force culture) about the state of JR messes. Officers, Regs, retired, feel free to join the discussion, though.
My own perspective (as one who hasn't been to the mess in at least two years except on Rememberance Day or for regimental functions) is that there are significant problems, and these were highlighted in a recent thread here where a couple of BC troops indicated that unsavoury activities go on.
We are told that our messes are dying. Even the officers mess in our armoury seems to be open much less now during off hours than before. But on entering the mess, it is my idea of what a military mess should be - the Colours were recently transferred from the COs office to a new case in the lounge area, there are hardwood floors and carpeting, and paintings of military scenes (though oddly, the RAUSI gents put up air force pics in our Army mess) and ancient trophies behind glass cabinets.
The junior ranks club, which is instantly subsidized because of the CFAO demanding we belong to a mess, is painted a hideous shade of green, with the real oak walls showing 60 years of layers of paint (they tried to sand them down last summer but were told to stop half way through because of lead contamination), with a "snake pit" they lobbied for years to get (and couldn't, because our band room was occupying the space) where you could OH BOY take off your combat shirt and parade around in a t-shirt.
If one wanted to spend some time after duty on a parade night, quietly reflecting on the day's accomplishments or perhaps talking to a buddy in another unit, well, you walk in, try and see someone through the haze of smoke, if you do see them you can try talking to them over the loud heavy metal crap playing on the stereo system (the most expensive piece of equipment in the Armouries, including the stuff in the racks in the weapons lock up), and the TV which is on simultaneously and competing with the stereo, though there are 200 channels and NOTHING ON.
You give up on the idea of conversation to watch 19 year old kids drink themselves sick, occasionally kick the crap out of each other (causing the mess to be closed for two months, for which you don't get your dues reimbursed, see the CFAOs - you have to belong, but it doesn't have to be open), throw stuff on the floor, throw garbage out the window, over the furniture (which is beat to ratshit), puke on the pool table, and play bizarre games, if you can stay up that late, like buck-buck and Zulu Warrior. The youngest and most immature usually compete to see who can be loudest (and loudest equals funniest, apparently).
God forbid if you would have wanted to bring your girlfriend with you (there are civvie girls occasionally, they mostly are underaged high school girls who think they have a boyfriend in the unit, but are really just a steady lay, or else the occasional slutty girl who might actually be a prostitute instead of just dressing like one.
Is it like this all over?
Best kind of mess, to me? And this is not an original idea, one of the drummers in the regiment wanted to do this after serving in the Regs in Germany. This was when we had a regular force presence in town - he thought he could make a killing by owning a pub called the Scarlet and French-Grey and setting it up near the unit lines of 1 VP. An alternate to the mess, as it were.
So why not do it with reserve units? Get rid of that stupid CFAO - you want me to support the mess? Make it worth belonging to. You have my money now, but not my loyalty, and I won't spend a penny on drinks or events or tips for the disinterested long hair scruffy civvie bartender.
Set it up across the street from the Armouries, make it open to the public, with pictures of the regiment on the walls, and a big sign out front - The Royal Highland Fusilier, or The Queen's Own Rifleman, or The Buglehorn or The Oak Leaf Club, The Black Hat, or even The Guns, Thank God, The Guns!. Have a back room just for "members" (serving soldiers and guests), and run the place for profit. I'd gladly play dues for a place like that, with oak walls and hardwood floors, and photos of brave men long dead wearing the same badges as we are, with a well dressed bartender, and clean glasses, and a no-smoking section.
And then I could go in, and civilians could mix with the soldiers, who would be wearing all their clothes and not indulging in questionable homo-erotic initiaion rituals that they tell newcomers are centuries old tradition, but are really some alcohol-baptized fantasy leftover from a parade night three years ago. Make the public section open to all ranks; let the Sgts and Officers stay in their messes at the armouries, or allow them into the public section of the establishment, if they want to mix with the troops/civvies.
Community footprint...wow, you might even convince girls of virtue to show up. Try finding one of those at an armouries party on a Friday night.
Comments?
EDITED subject line, just to draw the heat off of myself. Don't have to be a moderator to do that, either, in case you're wondering...
My own perspective (as one who hasn't been to the mess in at least two years except on Rememberance Day or for regimental functions) is that there are significant problems, and these were highlighted in a recent thread here where a couple of BC troops indicated that unsavoury activities go on.
We are told that our messes are dying. Even the officers mess in our armoury seems to be open much less now during off hours than before. But on entering the mess, it is my idea of what a military mess should be - the Colours were recently transferred from the COs office to a new case in the lounge area, there are hardwood floors and carpeting, and paintings of military scenes (though oddly, the RAUSI gents put up air force pics in our Army mess) and ancient trophies behind glass cabinets.
The junior ranks club, which is instantly subsidized because of the CFAO demanding we belong to a mess, is painted a hideous shade of green, with the real oak walls showing 60 years of layers of paint (they tried to sand them down last summer but were told to stop half way through because of lead contamination), with a "snake pit" they lobbied for years to get (and couldn't, because our band room was occupying the space) where you could OH BOY take off your combat shirt and parade around in a t-shirt.
If one wanted to spend some time after duty on a parade night, quietly reflecting on the day's accomplishments or perhaps talking to a buddy in another unit, well, you walk in, try and see someone through the haze of smoke, if you do see them you can try talking to them over the loud heavy metal crap playing on the stereo system (the most expensive piece of equipment in the Armouries, including the stuff in the racks in the weapons lock up), and the TV which is on simultaneously and competing with the stereo, though there are 200 channels and NOTHING ON.
You give up on the idea of conversation to watch 19 year old kids drink themselves sick, occasionally kick the crap out of each other (causing the mess to be closed for two months, for which you don't get your dues reimbursed, see the CFAOs - you have to belong, but it doesn't have to be open), throw stuff on the floor, throw garbage out the window, over the furniture (which is beat to ratshit), puke on the pool table, and play bizarre games, if you can stay up that late, like buck-buck and Zulu Warrior. The youngest and most immature usually compete to see who can be loudest (and loudest equals funniest, apparently).
God forbid if you would have wanted to bring your girlfriend with you (there are civvie girls occasionally, they mostly are underaged high school girls who think they have a boyfriend in the unit, but are really just a steady lay, or else the occasional slutty girl who might actually be a prostitute instead of just dressing like one.
Is it like this all over?
Best kind of mess, to me? And this is not an original idea, one of the drummers in the regiment wanted to do this after serving in the Regs in Germany. This was when we had a regular force presence in town - he thought he could make a killing by owning a pub called the Scarlet and French-Grey and setting it up near the unit lines of 1 VP. An alternate to the mess, as it were.
So why not do it with reserve units? Get rid of that stupid CFAO - you want me to support the mess? Make it worth belonging to. You have my money now, but not my loyalty, and I won't spend a penny on drinks or events or tips for the disinterested long hair scruffy civvie bartender.
Set it up across the street from the Armouries, make it open to the public, with pictures of the regiment on the walls, and a big sign out front - The Royal Highland Fusilier, or The Queen's Own Rifleman, or The Buglehorn or The Oak Leaf Club, The Black Hat, or even The Guns, Thank God, The Guns!. Have a back room just for "members" (serving soldiers and guests), and run the place for profit. I'd gladly play dues for a place like that, with oak walls and hardwood floors, and photos of brave men long dead wearing the same badges as we are, with a well dressed bartender, and clean glasses, and a no-smoking section.
And then I could go in, and civilians could mix with the soldiers, who would be wearing all their clothes and not indulging in questionable homo-erotic initiaion rituals that they tell newcomers are centuries old tradition, but are really some alcohol-baptized fantasy leftover from a parade night three years ago. Make the public section open to all ranks; let the Sgts and Officers stay in their messes at the armouries, or allow them into the public section of the establishment, if they want to mix with the troops/civvies.
Community footprint...wow, you might even convince girls of virtue to show up. Try finding one of those at an armouries party on a Friday night.
Comments?
EDITED subject line, just to draw the heat off of myself. Don't have to be a moderator to do that, either, in case you're wondering...
