Election Humour 2006

[George Wallace]

Dear Abby:

I'm a crack dealer in Nepean who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Pembroke and one of my sisters, who lives in Petawawa, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Smith Falls I have two brothers. One is  currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Kingston for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting His three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Hull and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted Liberal?

Signed..."Worried About My Reputation".

 

[a_majoor]

Now Andrew.....That is an Ad worth running!  ;D

Paul Martin wants:

more Liberal MPs in our cities.

Canadian cities.

Liberal MPs in Parliament.

with our tax dollars.

In Canada.

We did not make this up.

Choose your Canada."

I don't think the Liberals would find that offensive at all.  It is after all one of their own.......just turned around.

All members of Army.ca can feel free to pass this parody to whoever they want.

 

[kcdist]

Dear Abby:

I'm a crack dealer in Nepean who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Pembroke and one of my sisters, who lives in Petawawa, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Smith Falls I have two brothers. One is  currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Kingston for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting His three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Hull and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted Liberal?

Signed..."Worried About My Reputation".

George....

Good luck with that. I tried it a few months ago and was skewered ....I feel like Van Gogh....unappreciated brilliance....I think I'll go now and cut something off.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/36781/post-300666.html#msg300666

 

[Thirstyson]

I feel like Van Gogh....unappreciated brilliance....I think I'll go now and cut something off.

You watching TVO as well last night? Good show (for once  ;D)

 

[RangerRay]

http://www.filibustercartoons.com/archive.php?id=20060111

 

[old medic]

http://herald.ns.ca/toons/Brucex13.jpg

 

[scm77]

Make your own Liberal election campaign sign.

http://www.katewerk.com/sign/lawnsign.html

 

[TCBF]

Pierre Trudeau - a Liberal - enacted the 'War Measures Act'

He locked up artists and entertainers without charge.

And put soldiers on our streets.

With guns.

And was issued one himself.

A gun.

And he never gave it back.

A Liberal Prime Minister.

With a Gun.

In Canada.

A Liberal with a Gun.

Where is it now?

You choose the Canada YOU want.

;D

Tom

 

[Kirkhill]

Malapropism of the day

I was going to give this award to John McCallum, who, while shoring up Ralph Goodale this morning, mentioned in passing: "I've been moved when, sadly, I had to participate in deaths of the Canadian Armed Forces."

Insert your own Sea King helicopter joke here.

The Prime Minister moved into at least a tie with McCallum when he looked into the camera during the midday press conference and intoned soberly: "This is a global world." I tell ya, I've been turning that one over and over in my hands like a Swarovski knick-knack. A global world--indeed.

Courtesy of Colby Cosh at his Macleans weblog  http://forums.macleans.ca/advansis/?mod=for&act=dis&eid=9

No disrepect intended to the deceased. 

 

[a_majoor]

The liberal template has so much "flex" built in:

Stephen Harper wants:

Beer and popcorn in our houses.

Canadian houses.

Canadians eating.

Beer and Popcorn.

In Canada.

We did not make this up.

Choose your Canada."

feel free to pass on this parody

 

[George Wallace]

"This is a global world."

Isn't that like........a 'Bushism'.  Now PM PM is talking like Bush. 




Paul Martin, who never looked out of his window to see all those Soldiers in Red Tunics and Bear Skin Hats carrying rifles and parading up and down the lawn in front of Parliament accompanied by other Soldiers in Scarlet Tunics and Bear Skin Hats playing loud music, as they attract gawking American Tourists in throngs on warm summer days.

 

[Michael Dorosh]

George....

Good luck with that. I tried it a few months ago and was skewered ....I feel like Van Gogh....unappreciated brilliance....I think I'll go now and cut something off.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/36781/post-300666.html#msg300666

LOL!  The joke itself is lame (at least you dressed it up and made it seem funny, unlike those who just post forwarded emails verbatim) but its hilarious that no one "got it"....

 

[scm77]

 

[Armymatters]