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Any favourite BMQ memories?

i remember getting off the bus in dundurn in '03 with a half decent hangover and having a very hardcore ex airborne Sargent tare a strip off of us for the rest of the day while we put together bunk beds  WORST CANADA DAY EVER!!
 
The entire platoon going in the gas hut without the gaz mask and the instructors taking a photo for us in the chamber.
Having a buddy at SQ using "ty-wraps" on a captain because he didn't know the password, he was visiting...
 
1.  Being reunited with my long lost best friend from elementary school (12 years later) - Good thing I remembered his first name.

Worst BMQ memory = the day it ended... 
 
agadou said:
The entire platoon going in the gas hut without the gaz mask and the instructors taking a photo for us in the chamber.
Having a buddy at SQ using "ty-wraps" on a captain because he didn't know the password, he was visiting...

LOL,the same thing happend to us with the Company Major!We took out his boot laces to tie him up!
 
I owed 800 something pushups for undone buttons lol, my mistake as I should have check after my buddy had ironed them.
 
Singing our National Anthem on our rucksack marches.  Still gives me goose bumps thinking about it. 
 
I dont know if this counts but walking to the Mess in Pet in Australian DPCU's and having, on numourous occasions, an entire platoon of recruits salute me as i passed them....I always saluted back too ;D wouldnt want to be rude now would i? Almost as funny was having the recruits doing their DP1 in the Dragoon shacks (you should know who you are) being told by a MCpl that the females should avoid contact with "Any Dragoon...Or the sleazy Australian". They really thought i was out there to pick up the girls on that course!
Recce_by_death would have some great ones from instructing BMQ's, SQ's or DP1's i'd imagine as would most of your instructors
 
Ah...yes a buddy of mine 'shot' another buddy of ours becaus he saw him twice within a 30 second delay...


The story goes like this. We were hunkered down in our holes, and out of 'no where' (this is 2am) we were bumped! So stand to! everyone pile out of our hides and into our trenches. Buddy was half asleep reached for his rifle, and saw a dark shadowy figure run through our lines infront of one of the trenches (YES!! Very very smart!) Anywho Buddy 1 shot him! BANG BANG BANG!!! (3 militia rounds)..So Buddy 2 was all stunned and amazed and said "It's JOE (not real name) YOU DIP SH%T!!!" and Buddy 1 was like..."DAMNATIONS!! I'm soo sorry!" and Joe buggers off to his trench! Well when we stood down and returned to our hides Joe runs back  to the hide to grab his ranger blancket cuz now he was sentry. Buddy 1 raised his rifle again and  yeld! "HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!" an Joe was like "It's ME!! JOE YOU IDIOT (or words to that effect)" and Buddy 1 yelled out " YOu cant be Joe! I just saw Joe! and I SHOT HIM!!!" with that, Buddy 1 poored a 3 round burst of militia rounds into poor ol'joe....
 
1.  Plt 9634    A certain WO decided to inspect the neatly folded undies in the locker, he discovered "streaks" in a dirty pair that my buddy thought he could hide by placing them on the bottom of the pile......  

WO: "WTF is that sh*t?
OS: No Warrant
WO: NO, Have a close look (he held them in his face and asked him if that was sh*t again)
OS: Yes Warrant, it's shit.

What was he thinking.....

2. MWO inspecting my locker (friday morning inspection if you pass you were given the weekend off, fail and you get to hang in the mega) decided to throw everything in my locker onto my bed, (except the personal box).  On my bed was the usual crap boots, C7 (in pieces).  He then FLIPS my mattress sending crap everywhere.  I nearly sh*t my pants.....  What does he say to me on his way out of my cubicle, EXCELLENT inspection.....  

3. Mcpl kicks a garbage can in the cubicle beside me, it rolls under the desk into my cubicle.... He then sh*ts all over me for having 2 garbage cans......  Ahh good times.
 
1.    Walking with PO during open locker inspection.  He gets so pissed that he starts throwing random objects from people's lockers.  Gets to buddy's locker, throws his underwear all over the bed, then turns around and says "Why the **** is there underwear all over your bed?"  Buddy replies with "Because you just threw them there, PO..." to which PO says "Yes, I was a little angry!  You people piss me off!!!!"

2.    Buddy walks into a room and addresses a particularily smart-mouthed master-seaman as "leading seaman".  Buddy gets jacked up.  Proceeds to address him as "ordinary seaman".  Master-seaman is too peeved to say anything by this point.  Buddy says "sorry master-corporal!".  This was a total gong show.

3.    Doing drill with three angry instructors in HD-4 at St-Jean (the "Hall of Pain") and not having a very good day as a platoon.  Subsequently having three more very angry instructors walk out onto the drill square from out of nowhere, thus getting yelled at from just about every possible direction and with every profanity, both English and French, in existence.  We did a lot of pushups that day.

4.    Doing weapons classes with a particularily loud PPCLI MCpl.  Several people had the bad habit of putting their finger on the trigger, to which the MCpl would yell "GET YOUR FINGER OFF THAT TRIGGER COWBOY!!!!"

5.    The whole platoon once got in trouble and we were made to march around a parking lot and do drill for 45 minutes.  It wasn't that hard, but our platoon was having another bad day and the instructors were out to screw us up that day.  We messed up so many times, and were lined up in three ranks so that we could get yelled at.  The best part was listening to MBdr go from lecturing us, to shouting, to yelling profanities at us, to having trouble finding the words to insult us in English, and finally just yelling a string of profanities and insults at us in French.

6.    A certain Pte dropped his rifle.  They made him do 25 pushups.  He forgot to remove the cigarette from his mouth, so he was made to do them all over again.  Buddy was walking with him and laughed when the rifle dropped, so he was made to do 25 pushups too.

7.    After finishing a ruck march and running the obstacle course twice, I was exhausted.  I crashed onto my rucksack for a couple of minutes, and was in a "provocative" position.  MBdr walks up to me with his pace stick and in his thick French accent says "What the ****, are you humping that rucksack?" while doing a humping motion with his hips.  I smiled and started vigorously humping my rucksack.  MBdr didn't know what to say, he just stood there speechlessly with his mouth agape and a blank look on his face.

8.    A certain Pte didn't shave regularily or use deodorant.  During inspection, Sgt noticed the lack of shaving from a distance and walked in very close to inspect buddy's face.  Sgt notices the stench and says in a very thick French accent "I don't mean to be rude, but you smell."
 
I am here in St Jean entering my 6th week and I have seen some creative jackings.  We are now accustomed to seeing Taliban Snowmans in our bunks.  Insecure kit up here seems to be a real problem with a few people in my plattoon.
Here are a couple of my faviourite memories so far though.
1)Left close march (start at 8 and work down, if you get it right you go to 7, if you get that right you go to 6 paces and so on) it constantly amazes me how many people don't know there left from there right.
2) Having a full fighting order inspection, one guy had taken a drink from his canteen.  Needless to say our MBDR found it and decided he really didn't need any water.  Try not to laugh well your buddys canteen is being emptied on his boots right in front of you.
3)Coming upstairs and finding a man made of clothes on top of a locker watching the hallway.
4)Watching your buddy salute with the left hand on his cap badge test.
5)Marking time for 20 minutes because one guy can't seem to keep his eyes forward.
6\)Watching boots fly by your head as they tell you they are coming along but they need more work.
7)An NCO finding laundry in a guys laundry bag during an inspection.  They now call him OS Laundry.

These are the only ones I could mention because I can't use names, however this is my personal favourite.
MCpl "Pte, do you play Monoply?"
Pte "No MCpl"
MCpl "Then how come there are train tracks on your shirts, I see reading and pensylvania, do you know what you are Pte?"
Pte "No MCpl"
MCpl "Your Baltic Avenue, a 2 dollar piece of crap(insert expletive)"

Hopefully I can post some pics of our Taliban Snowmans soon.

The Fitz
 
- Push ups in our Gas Gear  :D
- After screwing up on ground and pick up arms, a few times, we did it continuously for about 20 min followed by double time and somemore ground and pickup arms after the class was over, Mbdr has us double time back to the mega (my legs feeling like jello at that point :P)
- Its pte bloggins birthday, hes turning 30...pushup position
- Drill class was infamously known as pushup class
 
1) When several of my Platoon-Mates lost their rifles and were written up
2) Calling the Master Bombedier a Master Corporol and him giving the "Kill from a far" speach
3) Forgetting to remove my mag when unloading my weapon, and ejecting the entire mag capacity through the ejection port, then realising I had not removed the mag.
4) Everyone getting fucked-over on inspection.
 
-Garbage bin with tissue in it (To this day I could've sworn I didn't put it there)
-section garbage can not emptied by mistake, section garbage can kicked and section garbage spread throughout the hall
-18 hangers accidently forgotten and placed on top shelf of closet-esque unit
-not being issued a beret until Res BMQ week 3, and thus having to wear a field cap until then
-getting various staff comments on having a CADPAT small pack and ranger blanket

Those, and a billion other amusing events.
 
well since davidhmd got to share a CAP one, I'll have to share a BOTP2 one  ;D

Morning inspection after PT, everyone was fucking tired as hell and obviously we stank like pigs, and our rooms reflected so even with the windows open (with near freezing wind blowing in...nipple factor 1) so the Sgt goes through all the male rooms commenting on how much we f***ing smell and he walks into the female room and all the females were smelling like the Body Shop or various other nice smelling body lotions and creams...the Sgt looked kind of stunned...did his inspection and saw this paculiar little thing in the plug next to the door.

Sgt: WTF is THIS HERE LADIES?!
Candidate: It's an AIR FRESHNER SGT!
Sgt: JESUS an AIR FRESHNER! (laughs out loud and the inspection was over before it even began)  ;D


Another one...this one happened to me  ::) buddy had lost his mag, or so he thought when we were on taskings...at the end of the day he accidentally took my gore-tex with which I had my extra mag in my pocket, and handed that mag in. He was also a good guy and turned in my mags and EIS for me. Problem. Can you guess it?! Yup I had 1 mag missing. I was at building J at the time (this was at Gagetown) trying to print something out, and voila! My other buddy who doubled from our Qs to the building looked at me and said "DUDE! You had better get back! The MCpl is shitting A BRICK!" I was like WTF? I didnt do anything... so I ran back and the MCpl was like "Um....sorry about the mess on your bed...I thought you tried to sneak off a mag somewhere an I tore your kit apart...but good thing your buddy fessed up and gave me the one he thought was missing though" and walked away. I went into my room and holly fuck...my kit was all over the place with all my kit dumped onto my bed, every pocket unbuttoned and turned inside out  ::) that was my fondest memory...
 
Zertz said:
-Garbage bin with tissue in it (To this day I could've sworn I didn't put it there)
-section garbage can not emptied by mistake, section garbage can kicked and section garbage spread throughout the hall
-18 hangers accidently forgotten and placed on top shelf of closet-esque unit
-not being issued a beret until Res BMQ week 3, and thus having to wear a field cap until then
-getting various staff comments on having a CADPAT small pack and ranger blanket

Those, and a billion other amusing events.

Who is this?
Bah, I think i was on course with you.
Ghandi?
Hunt?
 
Theres another good one, 9 out of 12 section members shaving their heads. Looking like Ghandi was fun.
 
Not a favourite, but the whole course except for like 3 got a counseling for a rusty weapon.

First week in the field in Farnham, weapons were cleaned the night before. It was pouring rain that morning, we march to the messhall and laid our weapons down on the grass, in the rain. After breakfast we came out and it had stopped raining, the sun was out and the weapons were rusting in wet grass. I looked in the Flash Suppresor, the inside was a wet orange, I quickly wiped it out with a cloth (the small issue cloths) only to reveal small spots of red rust inside and blue goo (i think it was from the CLP) on the tip of the barrel, inside the flash suppresor. It was teal greenish blue in colour making me shit a brick literally. I couldnt get it out with a cloth, and I didnt have a cotton swab so i couldnt get all the goo out. we all got a counseling for rust because they inspected the weapons inside and out, and that goo ended up hardening like a rock making it a bitch to clean off, without scratching the Blueing in our brand new C7-A2's.

Edited for Clarity
 
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