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Afghanistan, is it worth it- Cheating Spouse Thread

patriot1112 said:
Ok well if this is being turned into the cheating spouse thread, does anyone have any horror stories they would like to share? This thread could turn into a really good support group. I know there must be quite a few. I'm not talking just spouse back in canada cheating. There were several soldiers I used to have a lot of respect for, and they cheated on their significant other when in cyprus, while their significant other was more than respectful and dutiful to them the entire tour.

Do we really need to go there?  ::)
 
No. There's enough 'trash-TV' shows for that sort of entertainment.

We don't need it here.
 
Bruce Monkhouse said:
No. There's enough 'trash-TV' shows for that sort of entertainment.

We don't need it here.

Agreed.  Would seem more like a gossip-thread than a support group if we're searching for 'horror-stories'.  However if anyone NEEDS support from a similar incident rather than just sharing stories they've heard, I don't see any hurt in them searching for it here... thoughts?
 
I believe that support (for anything) would be more beneficial in person (e.g. with your friends, family, etc) than online.  Just my opinion.  Why would someone search here for "cheating spouse" support?  ???
 
some people find solace in the sense of community that can be found here - not to mention anonymity.
 
I am not so sure it's the military men who are the ones find these women.  I know here in Halifax it is the women who hunt the sailors.  I know of a few who have gotten them selves a sailor, had a couple of kids with him and kicked him to the curb, all for his high child maintance payments.  My ex-wife being one of them.  I have even over heard her telling her friends that they should look into doing the same. "Sailors are gone half the time.  When they no longer go to sea you can get rid of them and keep half their pay"  At least one of her friends took her advice.
 
I would fear, that as a small military community of about 60 - 70 000 we might actually find names/places/stories we recognize.  The anonymity of it all might not be there once the stories start flying.  Imagine reading about "some guy" and then realizing that you are hearing about your neighbour or friend whose wife cheated on him?

Harley Sailor, you quoted the wrong guy.
 
patriot1112 said:
OK well if this is being turned into the cheating spouse thread, does anyone have any horror stories they would like to share? This thread could turn into a really good support group. I know there must be quite a few. I'm not talking just spouse back in Canada cheating. There were several soldiers I used to have a lot of respect for, and they cheated on their significant other when in Cyprus, while their significant other was more than respectful and dutiful to them the entire tour.

Not sure if that would be a good idea on this site or not. I know in my neck of the woods there are all kinds of examples of it from both men and women. I warned my wife when she came up here that the place is a bit of a Soap Opera in some aspects. 

I don't think I will go on too much more about this then add.  For every couple that has had a problem I know of many times more that do not have any problems.  "It takes two to make a marriage and usually two to break it, although One can always find a way to do it on their own.  But in that case that one is not The One you should of been with."

 
Bzzz....
You shoulda seen it in West Germany - the minute the boys went into the field for fallex...... the Tide boxes in the kitchen window were the source of many a story.... many divorces....
 
Bruce Monkhouse said:
No. There's enough 'trash-TV' shows for that sort of entertainment.

We don't need it here.

I guess "horror stories" was the wrong way to put it. I was trying to imply that if anyone had a story to share that they could do so. There are very many individuals who have been through this, and a lot might find some of the words of wisdom of those who have been through it a positive thing. It wasn'y my intention to make this a bashing thread or a thread to unload negative stories to make those in a specified community look bad. I started this thread as a rant. I don't know why I did it but what the hell, I had just got back, I was drunk, angry and hurt. The few minutes I had to write down what happened and the responses I recieved helped me, even if it was breifly. That leads me to believe now, that maybe instead of continuing as a ranting thread, there might be someone who has a story and needs some advice. Im not an admin, its not up to me but i thought it could be a good idea...
 
geo said:
Bzzz....
... the Tide boxes in the kitchen window were the source of many a story.... many divorces....

I don't get it?  Tide boxes?

I still agree with patriot.  It seems to me that many people here find a tight sense of community, of belonging, and I wouldnt' be surprised if many people here consider other members to be 'friends' without even meeting them.  This is why I think people here could easily find some comfort, as patriot did.
 
geo said:
Bzzz....
You shoulda seen it in West Germany - the minute the boys went into the field for fallex...... the Tide boxes in the kitchen window were the source of many a story.... many divorces....

Yes we had the same thing in Halifax PMQs..  I remember being a young adult in Halifax and heading for the Qs to see which ships were out.  Later after I joined up I had to stop doing that for fear of having a shipmate bringing me home and me knowing his wife.
 
Tide boxes in the window was just a sneaky way of letting people know that your spouse was outta town for awhile, so it was like a welcome invite to anyone walking by.
 
In Germany it was "OMO" laundry soap... stands for "Old Man is Out".
 
AirCanuck said:
I don't get it?  Tide boxes?

Ahh to be young again, it was already explained what the Tide Boxes were. But to add think of it like a sock or a neck tie on a door handle for a Dorm.  Or a red light on. It was a signal in this case to let those who were interested know that hubby or wife was away. From there it grew to other dimensions about putting unit stickers in a house, the Ace of Spades card and the list goes on.  The thing to remember though is the stories are rampant and for the most part a urban myth that covers a certain situation.  I have no doubt that there is some truth about that myth but not to the wide spread occurrence that is reported.  Mind you in describing a story of infidelity it would be embellished by the Tide Box. 

A point to patriot though is I do chat to my guys about giving power of Attorney to a young lady or someone they are only just getting into a relationship with Married or not.  Full access to all the money is another be carefull of.  And in saying this I am not saying leave her to fend for her ( or him ) self.  But every tour has a incidence of someone coming back to no money in the bank and in some cases no furniture in the house.
 
1RNBR said:
Tide boxes in the window was just a sneaky way of letting people know that your spouse was outta town for awhile, so it was like a welcome invite to anyone walking by.

geeze.  Some people.

As for no furniture in the house, no money.. what an awful shock that must be.
 
AirCanuck said:
geeze.  Some people.

As for no furniture in the house, no money.. what an awful shock that must be.

Many years ago now, but mine even took my dog, now that really hurt! My only point here is to not let that taint things in future relationships, sure it hurts but time heals and you move on. Inevitably you find your "true" love, and the hurt will just be a distant memory. Learning to trust again is the most difficult thing.
 
AirCanuck said:
geeze.  Some people.
As for no furniture in the house, no money.. what an awful shock that must be.

You think that's bad ???

After the fiasco on the stock market last year:

My portfolio has shrunk by half....
.............. and I still have my wife!  :crybaby:
 
helpup said:
A point to patriot though is I do chat to my guys about giving power of Attorney to a young lady or someone they are only just getting into a relationship with Married or not.  Full access to all the money is another be carefull of.  And in saying this I am not saying leave her to fend for her ( or him ) self.  But every tour has a incidence of someone coming back to no money in the bank and in some cases no furniture in the house.

That is an excellent point, and one I advocate to the umpteenth degree. The fact that My ex didnt have access to my bank account or credit cards probably saved me thousands of dollers. Unless their is kids invovled there is little to no need for a significant other to have access to your finances. If the spouse needs money you can have an account transfer set up at the bank before you go on tour so that if the spouse does need money its as simple as a couple clicks of the mouse. That will protect you from getting cleaned out as well. That is the advice I got and it was probably the best advice I've ever been given and taken
 
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