You know you are past your expiriy date...

[ArmyRick]

I was joking around a short awhile ago with some peers. We were making fun of old and senile sergeant majors that were completely right out of 'er or just un-real. But then a scary thought popped into my head, I am approaching 20 years service. So I thought I would compile a safety list of triggers to let me know when i am done and need to move on.
1. I start repeating things in O groups
2. I go on long soap opera rants about how it should be and how it was
3. I tell stories about some soldier I served with that nobody else in the room knows at all
4. I start repeating things in O groups
5. I give an order, direction or an explanation and all my subordinates look at me like I have antlers springing out of my head
6. I can't remember someones name after the soldier identifies himself 6 times in 2 days
7. I call a soldier 6 different names in 2 days
8. I start repeating things in O groups
9. I go balistic at the mere thought of standing down early on a Friday afternoon
10. Someone coughs and I march them off to cells
11. I start repeating things in O groups

That is my initial list. Does anybody want to add to it?

 

[Armymedic]

Rick,
I think you missed:

When you repeat points in the O groups multiple times.

 

[Ammo]

What about:
Age is relative: I might be old at work but young when I go to the legion
What do you mean you don't know what an FN is?

 

[SeanNewman]

A few more:

1. Stories typically start with "When I was in Germany..."
2. You have been to Cyprus, but got a medal instead of decompressed from Afghanistan
3. You eagerly await the return of wearing rank on your arms or shoulders
4. Someone can not be range safety staff unless they have a mil stick, white helmet, orange traffic vest, and four glow sticks.
5. When not on parade, it actually matters to you if someone's sleeves are up or down

 

[ArmyRick]

Sweet jesus, petamocto,

Your making me feel like a dinosaur for real. Something on your list actually applies to me (yikes).

Why are they blindfolding me and leading me outside?

 

[J.J]

I wish my Sgt Maj & Ops WO could read this!!!  ;D

 

[Old Sweat]

For all you rookies out there:

1. You wore battledress, boots and puttees and the dreaded caps, peaked, winter.
2. You were posted to a Camp, as in Camp Petawawa, and not a CFB.
3. Germany means Hemer, Soest, Wehrl and Iserlohn.
4. Most places you served at were one channel postings.
5. I forget the rest.

Edit: to change the name of the cap.

 

[dapaterson]

For all you rookies out there:

1. You wore battledress, boots and puttees and the dreaded caps, field, winter.
2. You were posted to a Camp, as in Camp Petawawa, and not a CFB.
3. Germany means Hemer, Soest, Wehrl and Iserlohn.
4. Most places you served at were one channel postings.
5. I forget the rest.

A little more beer, and we can help you forget the first four, too...

 

[BernDawg]

You mistakenly show up at work in your "bus driver" work dress complete with Regimental ascot!
You carry around a small piece of aluminium in your shirt pocket so you can "take a hit" when no one is looking.
You start sleeping on a cot in your QM because it "just feels more like home than home"
When you get home from happy hour at the mess you can't figure out why there's a leash and collar hanging off of your truck bumper.
Your daily speach patterns are more and more like voice procedure, Roger that?
You're pissed off that all the newbs are non smokers so you have to buy your own.
Instant coffee just doesn't taste right unless its made with ration water.
All of your dishes are Mel-Mac and your cuttlery is all assorted KFS sets.
You try to exchange a piece of kit that isn't even on the books any more.
You know what that 6" long orange spike with a clip on it is for and won't let the boys take it out of the tent group.
(and don't explain it to them either!)
You try to double clutch the ML.
You have a set of "summer" combats (so worn out you can see through them)
You can time and headspace a C5 GPMG with only a screw driver.

 

[George Wallace]

What do you mean you don't know what an FN is?

Foreign Nationals.

 

[tristismilitis]

...when the trade you started out in and the equipment you trained on no longer exist in the CF.
...when you are telliing an RV story and have to explain that you are not talking about a 'recreational vehicle'
...you have more 'out of service' forms of dress in your closet then uniforms you can still wear to work.
...if you can send & receive Morse code faster than you can text message.

 

[tango22a]

WR:

You better be beatin' feet before a grizzled old school WO gets a grip on you!!!  (j/k)


Cheers,


tango22a

 

[vonGarvin]

When you refer to the Jump Ruck as "The Ruck", because when you joined, everyone got that model.
Your version of the "old" webbing consisted of a Y strap, a grenade pouch (for socks, naturally), a mess tin carrier (mess tins?) and a water bottle carrier.
You know that your pockets on your  combats were designed as mag pouches.
You know that the "pen sleeve" on your breast pockets were meant for a radiometer.
You still have a dosimeter attached to your dog tags.
You know what "In location" means, but have no idea was TACON and TACOMD are.
You still refer to the Germans as "the bad guys"
You flinch when you see a BTR coming at you in KAF, because you can't find your 106mm Recoilless
You know what a 106mm Recoilless is, from first hand knowledge

 

[Jungle]

Something is not quite clear: does one need all the above triggers to become obsolete, or is there a set number ?? 

 

[gaspasser]

Darn...you guys are making me feel old...

...cheeze whiz in a tube was a treat!
...peanut butter in a tube was neat to have handy.
...you kept the butter from your rations to lub up the stove tank pressure pump.
...you know how to strip and assemble the SMG and FN.
... you know what the above are.
...your right leg is still a bit stronger from foot starting the deuce and a halfs.


:warstory:        :warstory:

 

[Kat Stevens]

The old jeeps had a foot starter, the deuces had a hand starter on the shift tower.

 

[SeanNewman]

Just thought of the most basic one:

You have a mustache on purpose because you like how it looks, not because of a contest to try to intentionally look ridiculous.

 

[vonGarvin]

Just thought of the most basic one:

You have a mustache on purpose because you like how it looks, not because of a contest to try to intentionally look ridiculous.

And you forgot to add:
"And you're a woman" ;D

 

[George Wallace]

- You have Head Spacing Timing Gauges for .50 Cal and C5 GPMG.
- You trained with FNs at CTC, and they were not rifles.
- You drove every vehicle that sits on concrete blocks along the main entrance in Gagetown.
- You know that CANFORNA Code is not porn.
- You have used CANFOROPS Code.
- You have used BLACKHORSE.
- You remember that there was once a house at Grid 123 456 in Gagetown Training Area.
- You know what "Veiled Speech" is.

 

[tristismilitis]

Darn...you guys are making me feel old...

...cheeze whiz in a tube was a treat!
...peanut butter in a tube was neat to have handy.
...you kept the butter from your rations to lub up the stove tank pressure pump.
...you know how to strip and assemble the SMG and FN.
... you know what the above are.
...your right leg is still a bit stronger from foot starting the deuce and a halfs.
:warstory:        :warstory:

PB in a tube was the cat's a$$

...you still have cam paint that comes in a stick
...you know you only need the lid from a bic pen to start an iltis
...the base where you used to work closed years ago and now has houses worth $750,00.00 and up where your $400.00 a month PMQ used to be.