Wifes Xmas Gift Humour

[spud]

I read that over a year ago, so if I do have a bookmark for it, it's on my other computer, which is sitting about 400km away from here.

You realize the feminnazis are now saying...whatever    :



potato

 

[Troop Suporter]

I wonder how funny that commercial would be if it were a bunch of women with crap stuck in them, bleeding, etc with the tagline "Wrong gift again?" or "That tie was not what he wanted" or stuff like that.

That commercial is not funny at all.
If the victims were anything other than a group of men, no one would even try it.

For the record, I'm Female. :-[

 

[geo]

                             Christmas Stamps                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
  A blonde woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas   
  cards.  She says to the clerk,                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
  "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"                                         
                                                             
  The clerk says,                                                           
                                                                           
  "What denomination?"                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                          
  The woman says,                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
  "God help us!  Has it come to this?  Give me~~~                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
  6 Catholic,                                                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
  12 Presbyterian,                                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
  10 United and                                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
  22 Anglicans                   

 

[geo]

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per
hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And
she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the
Speed to 55

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..

Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and
the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, The wife turns to him
and smiles.
"The airbag."

 

[Yrys]

 

[Magravan]

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per
hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And
she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the
Speed to 55

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..

Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and
the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, The wife turns to him
and smiles.
"The airbag."

See, the reason why no one gets upset about that is because we realize that if it were the case, it would be the culling of the species... Anyone stupid enough to say "I want everything and I had an affair" while someone else is driving is not going to live long anyways...