What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[George Wallace]

Oddest one I saw, other than the women (plural) doing their makeup or hair, was a guy actually brushing his teeth while driving down a blvd.

 

[GR66]

Oddest one I saw, other than the women (plural) doing their makeup or hair, was a guy actually brushing his teeth while driving down a blvd.

It's amazing what you see people doing while driving.  I've seen people eating, shaving, doing makeup, flossing, curling their hair, plucking eyebrows, reading books/newspapers, making coffee on a small plug-in coffee maker, and doing Sudoku.  I actually had a boss ask me to change the fonts on our reports so that it was easier for him to read while he was driving.  He couldn't understand why his partner and I refused to accommodate him. 

 

[Tank Troll]

Actually, in some provinces, the law applies to anything that distracts a driver, not just a handheld cellphone.  It could be a KFC drumstick, a sandwich, an iPod, a tablet, newspaper/magazine, whatever may distract a driver from full concentration on their driving.  Spouses, however, are not included.....  ;D

How could a KFC drumstick distra.............................................................................. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm KFC.

 

[STJ_Kierstead]

How could a KFC drumstick distra.............................................................................. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm KFC.

LOL, hilarious!

Taken from the Ridiculist, a CNN segment by host Anderson Cooper

"Could the show "Breaking Bad" be as addictive as the drug it portrays? When cable service went out in Connecticut, some fans proved they could not do without their weekly fix. One person even called 911 to report the outage"

Caller needs his fix

 

[CougarKing]

:  :

The way I see it, this isn't as bad as a "naughty nurse" costume...not by a long shot.

Link

Walmart Yanks Scandalous Kids' Costume After Uproar

Following accusations from parents that Walmart was sexualizing toddlers by offering a “Naughty Leopard” Halloween costume for little girls, the retail giant stopped selling the item, both in stores and online, on Thursday.

“We apologize to customers who may have been offended by the name of the costume and we are pulling the costume from our shelves,” a Walmart spokesperson confirmed for Yahoo Shine.

The costume, which consisted of a black tutu with purple trim and a headband with matching ears, was neither sexy nor zoologically accurate. But it didn’t stop people from freaking out after the Consumerist first reported on its existence, based on an angry reader’s tip.


“What sort of parent buys a costume like this for their little girl? What sort of mind designs it?” was one of the many critical comments flooding Twitter on the topic this week. Others called it “inappropriate” and “horrible.” 

(...)

 

[ModlrMike]

"Is it OK if I do cocaine while I'm on these antibiotics?"

:facepalm:

 

[PMedMoe]

Some girl in the bar where I'm at: "The 50 yard line in hockey. What do they call that?"

 

[fake penguin]

So I am at work and helping a contractor load his truck. Somehow we get talking about how he is from Ontario and he has worked with a lot of Newfoundlanders. He starts to tell me how he love to go to Newfoundland small out port and get into a fight. He thinks if he goes to Newfoundland and the locals hears his mainlander accent, they will want to fight him because he is an outsider. I just thought anyone let alone a 41 year old man talking like this was ridiculous. Now I look at this guy and think " I can't have an adult conversation with this guy". 

 

[cupper]

So I am at work and helping a contractor load his truck. Somehow we get talking about how he is from Ontario and he has worked with a lot of Newfoundlanders. He starts to tell me how he love to go to Newfoundland small out port and get into a fight. He thinks if he goes to Newfoundland and the locals hears his mainlander accent, they will want to fight him because he is an outsider. I just thought anyone let alone a 41 year old man talking like this was ridiculous. Now I look at this guy and think " I can't have an adult conversation with this guy".

Should'a given him a good slug, then said "There I saved you a trip." ;D

 

[Goose15]

"Is it OK if I do cocaine while I'm on these antibiotics?"

:facepalm:

:rofl:

 

[Goose15]

Watching a hockey game.....

Girl: Hey, what's that red line in the middle of the ice called?

Me: The Red Line.

Girl: Yeah what's it called?

Me: The Red Line.

Girl: No! What's it called?!

Me: That red line in the middle of the ice is called the Red Line.

Girl: You just don't get my question!!!!!!!!

Me: ..................................

 

[Fishbone Jones]

Watching a hockey game.....

Girl: Hey, what's that red line in the middle of the ice called?

Me: The Red Line.

Girl: Yeah what's it called?

Me: The Red Line.

Girl: No! What's it called?!

Me: That red line in the middle of the ice is called the Red Line.

Girl: You just don't get my question!!!!!!!!

Me: ..................................

Who's on First?

 

[Goose15]

Who's on First?

:rofl:

Wish I had this video at the time!

 

[Goose15]

A relative who lives in Toronto: "Toronto is really the only city in Ontario, everything else is just trees and stuff."

 

[Good2Golf]

From a relative in Edmonton: "We're still the City of Champions!"

 

[Oompah-Loompah@]

Who's on First?

Using Bing video to watch a Youtube video.

:'(

 

[Danjanou]

A relative who lives in Toronto: "Toronto is really the only city in Ontario, everything else is just trees and stuff."

I don't get it. You mean there is actually something north of Steeles?  8)

 

[Robert0288]

http://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/new-ottawa-mom-says-she-didn-t-even-know-she-was-pregnant-1.1507504

An Ottawa couple had been planning to spend this week packing boxes and getting ready for a move across the province. Instead, they are adjusting to their sudden new status as parents, after welcoming a baby boy they didn't even know was on the way.

On Sunday night, Kendra Reid, 23, says she was having trouble sleeping and feeling cramps when she decided to tiptoe to the bathroom without disturbing her fiancé, Mitch Stone, 33.

The cramping began to get worse, Reid says, and she started sweating.

"And then, after a little bit of sweat, I look down and see just this full head of hair. And immediately I realized what was going down," Reid told CTV Ottawa Monday afternoon. "One push later, out pops the baby right into the toilet."

Reid quickly retrieved the child -- a full-term, 8-pound, 2 ounce healthy baby boy. Now, the new mother and her fiancé are trying to figure out how they could have realized she was pregnant.

Reid says she's always had irregular periods and hadn't been feeling anything unusual over the last nine months. She had noticed she was putting on some weight, but "truth be told, I just thought I was getting fat," Reid says.

"I looked a little off, in hindsight. It never occurred to me that it could be anything other than weight gain. So it was quite the shock," she says.

A quiet, symptom-free pregnancy is unusual in itself, but the birth was even more unusual. Reid says the only thing she felt during the labour were some pangs "that didn't hurt that much."

"It seemed to happen very quick. The whole process might have taken a couple of hours. But the actual (delivery) itself was over in minutes," she says.

As she sat on the bathroom floor after the delivery, she says "there were a million things" going through her mind.

"I just wanted to know that he (the baby) was safe, warm, and healthy. And I wanted my fiancé to wake up."

Reid screamed for Stone to help her. He awoke with a start and raced to a scene he was not expecting.

"At first, I froze. I was like, 'Nah, this can't be real'," he says.

"At first I thought this was a rubber doll of a baby that she was going to throw at me and start laughing. And then when I saw the umbilical cord, I started screaming, 'Oh my god. It's a baby!' It was so surreal."

Stone immediately began running around, looking for a towel to wrap the baby in and calling 911. When the ambulance arrived a few minutes later, he even ran out into the street in his underwear and flagged the ambulance down.

Stone says he too had no idea his fiancée was pregnant.

"Especially because she barely had no stomach," he says. "It slightly looked like she had gained a couple of pounds overweight. And then you run into the bathroom and she was pulling out a baby boy."

The couple says they had heard of surprise births before, but couldn't understand how they could ever happen.

"I've watched that show, 'I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.' And I always used to make fun of it, thinking how could you never know you were pregnant? And all of a sudden, I realize it's actually a lot easier to have that happen to you than you'd think," says Reid.

The couple's baby appears to be healthy and happy and after a full day at the hospital, the first-time parents are now trying to figure out how to adjust to the sudden change in their lives.

Despite the shock, Stone says he couldn’t be happier.

"For me, children are a blessing even though this was not expected. This is the most amazing thing that can happen to you," he says.

The couple had planned to move to Reid's home town of Sudbury on Friday where Stone wants to pursue his career as an audio engineer. Those plans are on hold. For now, they have a bigger worry: what to name their new son. They still have no ideas but say they "are open to suggestions."

:facepalm:

 

[Goose15]

I don't get it. You mean there is actually something north of Steeles?  8)

Yes! They discovered a feral civilization 400km North of Toronto 3 months ago. They are currently studying these strange people!

 

[daftandbarmy]

http://videos.komando.com/watch/2402/viral-videos-hilarious-video-about-deer-crossing-signs

This is not hilarious this is the stupidest woman on earth