What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[Tank Troll]

I went in to work last on the way I saw a clown walking down the street, and I commented on it when I got to work as it seemed odd. One of the young subbies over heard and asked me if it was a real clown or just somebody dressed like a clown.  ???

 

[bridges]

One of the young subbies over heard and asked me if it was a real clown or just somebody dressed like a clown.  ???

???  indeed.  If there are "real" clowns, I, for one, don't want to know about them. 

 

[OldSolduer]

???  indeed.  If there are "real" clowns, I, for one, don't want to know about them.

Real clowns aren't that obvious. Some are wearing CADPAT. Just sayin.......

 

[medicineman]

Should have had him look in a mirror and ask if he could tell the difference...

 

[Spooks]

NO, our Niner runs it and he ain't that good at it.

I told the incoming CO I didn't like the way O Gps were conducted. I told him that we need to follow the ABCs (Accurate, Brief, Clear) and that everyone needs their time to pass on their points ie Around the table starting with A Coy etc.... Right now Niner and the Ops WO seem to dominate and its a freakin free for all after that. I had some general points (not critical and not pertinent to the mission) but I said "screw it, its not worth wasting my breath over".

Its frustrating listening to some of them drone on and on and on and on like a Monty Python skit. Then one of the WOs is late for Niner's O Gp, then he arrives disorganized (as always).

http://www.cranberryleague.com/Who1st/Who1sts.htm

For this production on 'Who's on first?', Niner will play Abbot and the Ops WO will play Costello. Please enjoy.

 

[cupper]

Not sure who is dumber, dentist for pulling all of his teeth, or guy for going to the dentist he spurned days before!

http://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2012/04/whats-the-best-way-to-get-over-an-ex.html

My vote goes to the guy.

Isn't one of the rules for nasty break-ups "Never, Ever let the ex perform any type of medical procedure on you after she finds out about the other woman"

 

[Timmy!]

Sub Lt: Oh is that the Commander? Who is the commander at the MOG? Who was there before him? Wasn't he on "such-a-such ship? I'm sure he went to "blah" school in "blah blah" year. What do you think Corporal?

Me: I don't know, sir. I'm just a pongo.
    *curses the career manger, mentally*

Sub Lt: Gessh, well I guess I'm a pongo too!

Me: *Mental face palm, and lights a smoke*
   

 

[cupper]

Sub Lt: Oh is that the Commander? Who is the commander at the MOG? Who was there before him? Wasn't he on "such-a-such ship? I'm sure he went to "blah" school in "blah blah" year. What do you think Corporal?

Me: I don't know, sir. I'm just a pongo.
    *curses the career manger, mentally*

Sub Lt: Gessh, well I guess I'm a pongo too!

Me: *Mental face palm, and lights a smoke*
 

Bravo to you for only doing a mental face palm.

 

[BadEnoughDudeRescueRonny]

Listening to the news and hearing that the latest "fad" for teens is drinking hand sanitizers.  They went on to say that experts advise that parents buy the foam sanitizer as it's more difficult to extract the alcohol from it.  I say let the stupid idiots drink the damn stuff.  :

News links:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-04-24/teen-hand-sanitizer-drunk/54501498/1?csp=34news

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/04/24/teenagers-drinking-hand-sanitizer-to-get-drunk-doctors-say/

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57420106-10391704/drinking-hand-sanitizer-sends-calif-teens-to-hospital-drunk-doctors-warn/

Saw this on CNN. As if teenagers raiding their parents' liquor cabinets didn't bring enough EtOH poisoning cases into Emerge  :  . It's as almost as bad as the time when a local newspaper ran a story proclaiming how the seeds of the Jimson Weed plant were the same as LSD  :facepalm: . Needless to say, our ERs were swamped with delirious and psychotic 15 year olds for the following 2 weeks.

Just as a side note, I'm pretty sure that hand sanitizer uses denatured alcohol, meaning those kids are also drinking down some benzene or methanol, possibly even both. Nothing says catching a good buzz like going blind or becoming violently ill.

What's happening to the world? I thought that Olde English and Colt 45 were the high-schooler's drink of choice.

 

[Scott]

We might have a new explanation for the activity in the recruiting forums of late

 

[Oompah-Loompah@]

"sick shit did u do ur Basic Training yet ?"

On someone's Facebook photo, showing the entire BMQ course holding their rifles.

The Army just hands new recruits rifles for fun evidently.

 

[nik214]

"sick crap did u do ur Basic Training yet ?"

On someone's Facebook photo, showing the entire BMQ course holding their rifles.

The Army just hands new recruits rifles for fun evidently.

Just for the picture so they can look cool for all of their friends ;D

 

[FlyingDutchman]

Boss: Why aren't you answering my text messages?
Me: You told everyone to keep the cellphones off while at work.
Boss: ... fine, but keep an eye open for smoke signals then.

 

[lyth]

Hi,

Since I was in college for Computer Systems Tech, I managed to over hear a lot of dumb statements from classmates. Here are the best 2. And by best, I mean worse.

1)
Classmate: How do I plug my laptop into a project?
Me: Shouldn't you know this already? You're in 2nd year of Computer Systems...
Classmate: I was never told how.
Me: You take the VGA cable, and plug it into the VGA port.
Classmate: Do you mean our GPA?
Me: .........


2)
Classmate 2: How do I uninstall Facebook from my laptop?
Me: Uninstall? What? It's not a program. It's a website.
Classmate 2: What? No. It's a program! I run it every morning.
Me: No, that's Internet Explorer. Here, let me show you how to disable your account on Facebook.
Classmate 2: No no no. I want to remove Facebook from my laptop. I don't want to disable it.
Me: ........No.

Thank you,

Joshua

 

[Mike Bobbitt]

I can't find "Army.ca" under Add/Remove Programs, so how do I get rid of it?

If I'm banned by the trigger happy, crusty staff will that get it off my laptop?

 

[Maxadia]

Teacher: Just imagine what things might be like in the future. What do you think we might be using cell phones for ten years from now?

High School Student:To talk to our friends with, instead of just texting them?

...............chirp................chirp..............................chirp.....

 

[PMedMoe]

Fed survey shows some cabbies were doctors

The urban legend is alive and well -- there really are Toronto cabbies who were physicians at home in their native lands.

More at link

Umm, since when has that been an "urban legend"?  ???

 

[bridges]

The urban legend is alive and well -- there really are Toronto cabbies who were physicians at home in their native lands.

Umm, since when has that been an "urban legend"?  ???

-Exactly.  I thought it was a well-known fact, but apparently not that well-known.  Which puts me in mind of a stupid (uneducated) question relayed to me by a cabbie in Edmonton, who'd been telling me about his escape from strife in his country of origin - which, if I remember correctly, was Mozambique.  Anyway, his previous fare not only didn't know where that was, but asked the cabbie "What's the capital of Africa?"

:facepalm:

...I guess at least he was trying to learn. 

 

[FlyingDutchman]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/07/800-pound-bride-susanne-eman_n_1498377.html

Susanne Eman, 800-Pound Bride, Fitted For World's Biggest Wedding Gown, Hopes To Eventually Weigh A Ton

Most brides have specific ideas about their wedding dress, such as style, fabric and design, but bride-to-be Susanne Eman was also particular about another facet: color.

"I like an off-whitish, not completely white. Because if I wear completely white, I guarantee I'm going to spill something on it," Eman told Inside Edition.

That could happen to any bride, but, to be fair, the odds of making a mess on a wedding gown increase exponentially when you're 800 pounds like Eman, whose average caloric intake is 30,000 calories a day.

Eman is currently on a quest to become the fattest woman ever, beating the 1200 pound mark once held by Rosalie Bradford, who died in 2006, but what good is a goal if you don't have someone to share it with?

Luckily, Eman found love recently with Parker Clack, a 35-year-old chef she met on the Internet, and she is having fun getting ready for the big day.

"Oh, he's wonderful. He loves to cook," she told Inside Edition. "That helps out. His food is soooo good."

But preparing for the big day meant going to a bridal shop to pick the right dress -- one that wouldn't show food stains.

Making the dress will be a monumental task for seamstress Judy Goff, who estimates Eman's gown will be much larger than any bridal gown she's made -- or seen.

"Okay, we have about 15 feet here and we need 45 feet, so about three times this amount to complete her dress," Goff told Inside Edition.

For the record, Eman's gown will have to fit around her 107-and-a-half inch waistline -- that's nine feet around.

Although it would possible for Eman to go the whole nine yards with her dress -- literally and figuratively -- she is taking some steps to make it so Goff doesn't run out of fabric entirely.

"I want to go sleeveless because it's going to be summer time," said Eman.

 

[OldSolduer]

This woman needs help. And a tarp.