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What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story

I got a personal dumb criminal story.

I work at a small electronics/computer repair and retail store.  We had a couple of break in's over the past couple of years, which we believe were related.  The first time a laptop was stolen.

The second part is funny.  We had replaced the door with the extra strong glass (which I can't think of the proper name for right now).  And this guy, most definitly high on drugs, came up to our door, and attempted to smash it, with a mailbox that he had already stolen from some other location.  This guy probably worked on smashing our door for a good 10 to 15 minutes, with his old trusty mailbox.

Note to all:  Mailboxes do not make good tools to break into somewhere.
 
Let's see if he can get himself out of this.

Article link

Attorney Charged With Taking Sex As Payment
Police: Lawyer Showed Boyfriend Video Of Encounters

POSTED: 9:44 am EDT June 16, 2010
UPDATED: 11:19 am EDT June 16, 2010

PRINCETON, Ind. -- A southwestern Indiana attorney running for prosecutor has been indicted on charges that he had sex with a female client for her to pay off a $550 debt for legal work in a civil case.
Authorities said an Indiana State Police investigation of William Wallace, 57, of Princeton, began when the woman reported that Wallace had shown her boyfriend a video of their sexual encounters.
Special Prosecutor Jonathan Parkhurst said the woman told investigators she never gave permission for videotaping.
Detectives reported finding the videos and child pornography at Wallace's home.
Wallace was arrested and released on bond Tuesday from the Gibson County Jail. Phone calls to his law office Wednesday went to a full voicemail box.
A special prosecutor was named because Wallace is the Democratic candidate for Gibson County prosecutor.
 
So I wonder what he was going for by showing it to her boyfriend?  More money?

Although, with the discovery of child pornography, I think his taking sex for payment is the least of his worries.  ::)
 
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1196479/Pictured-The-battered-bruised-face-burglar-got-wrong-72-year-old-boxer.html

Pictured: The battered and bruised face of a burglar who got on the wrong side of a 72-year-old former boxer
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Last updated at 10:40 PM on 30th June 2009

article-1196479-058B77E9000005DC-93_468x474.jpg


He's still smiling.....

A knife-wielding burglar had a shock when he attacked a pensioner in his home - and discovered his victim was a retired boxer.

Senior citizen Frank Corti, 72, a former junior boxing champion is still a bit handy with his dukes.

And when he spotted the aforementioned intruder, Gregory McCalium, in his hallway he sprang into action and delivered two right hooks.

The blows were so powerful that McCalium, who had just lunged at Mr Corti with the knife, was left looking like he had been in 'a car accident'.

The pensioner then restrained him until police arrived. He was jailed for four and a half years yesterday after a judge told him he had 'got what he deserved'.

After sentencing, Mr Corti said: 'I was scared when he first drew the knife but most people would have acted in the same way. If you can't defend what's yours, where are we at?'

Oxford Crown Court heard the break-in was the culmination of a long-running dispute over noise between the neighbours, who live in Botley, Oxford.

McCalium, a barman, was having a rowdy party at his house on August 18 last year when police turned up after a complaint from a neighbour.
McCalium assumed it had been made by Mr Corti - who won the National Association of Boys' Clubs Championship in Birmingham when he was 16 - and broke into his neighbour's home at 8am the following day.

Mr Corti, who was with his wife Margaret at the time, dodged out of the way of his attacker's lunge and punched him, giving him a black eye and a split lip, before subduing him.

McCalium was found guilty of aggravated burglary at a trial in March, during which he had claimed he could not remember the incident.
John Simmons, defending, said Mr Corti, who served with the Royal Engineers in North Africa from 1956-58, had received minor injuries during the confrontation.

He added: ' Photographs of the defendant showed what looked like a car accident and photos of the scene looked more like a murder scene.'

Recorder Angela Morris said: 'Luckily, Mr Corti was an able-bodied 72-year-old who was able to defend himself.
'The jury might well have concluded you got what you deserved when you entered that property and took a swipe at him with that weapon.

'The elderly and vulnerable people are entitled to demand the protection of courts from people like you who decide to take matters into your own hands and enter a property with a weapon.'

Mr Corti, a retired car worker, added: 'If needed to, I would do it again.'

During sentencing at Oxford Crown Court, Brian Payne, prosecuting, said: 'There was a struggle and it was clear Mr McCalium was intoxicated because his reactions were slow.

'It seems Mr McCalium ended up with far more serious injuries.'


After the sentencing, Detective Constable Jon Shaw said: 'Fortunately no-one was more injured in this incident but this was still a terrifying situation and McCalium must now pay for his actions.

'I hope that the victim, and his wife, might now be able to put this ordeal behind them and get on with their lives.'

During the trial, Mr Corti described how he had been woken during the night by noise from next door for several months before the incident.


He told the court: 'They would slam the doors, then they would start partying. You could hear shouting, screaming and music.'

Mr Corti said he called police when he found McCalium banging on the front door of his house at about 6.30am.

Two hours later, he said, he came downstairs and saw bar worker McCalium in his hallway.

Mr Corti said: 'The accused produced a knife. It was no ordinary knife, it was more like a six-bladed knuckle duster.

'He made a slashing movement at me. I stepped back. He missed me, fortunately.'

Mr Corti said that while McCalium was off balance, he grabbed both of his wrists and managed to pin his arms against the wall.

He added he asked McCalium to drop the knife but he wouldn?t.

Mr Corti said: 'I shouted to my wife to ring the police.

'I was absolutely petrified.

'As I saw it, it was a matter of do or die so I let his wrists go. Fortunately the element of surprise was with me, so I adjusted my position and hit him with my right hand. It was just below the eye.

'I did not knock him out, but he was stunned. I heard the knife drop. We grappled. I was trying to drag him out of the back door. We both fell to the floor. I had to subdue him by punching him, which I did not take a great deal of pleasure in.?

The jury heard he then lay on top of McCalium until the police arrived.

article-1196479-058AB9F3000005DC-142_224x341.jpg
 
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Talk about getting your ass handed to you.....
 
This is making me shake my head.

link

50c robbery cracks up bank staff
By NICOLA BRENNAN - Waikato Times
Last updated 12:30 27/07/2010

Hamilton bank staff were left laughing after a bare-chested man demanded 50 cents from them, before crouching down then running away yesterday.

TSB manager Sandra Makein told the Waikato Times it was definitely one of the more unusual attempted robberies she had heard of.

"If you can call it a robbery," she said.

Police said the man, in his early 20s, entered the Victoria St bank with a bandana over his lower face and demanded $10.

When the teller said she didn't have any money he asked for 50c before crouching into the starting race position and running out of the bank.

A passing policeman gave chase and the man was caught in Ward St.

He was later assessed by medical and mental health staff.
 
I heard of two today:

First was a guy tried to rob a Starbucks and didn't realize there was two cops waiting for their coffee and the Starbucks was across the street from the station

Next was a women who shoplifted at a store...the next day she handed in a resume wearing the clothes she stole then proceeded to lift some more...police tracked her down from her resume
 
Here's two:

I had a kid break into a store and steal the safe. He dragged it outside and put it on a sled. He then dragged the sled to his house. I show and follow the sled tracks all the way to the house where he and a friend are trying to carry the safe up the stairs.

Another kid breaks into a house and steals beer. Also stolen? A flower pattern suitcase to facilitate moving the beer. On that suitcase? A nametag for the owner. Found the kid dragging a flower covered suitcase down the street full of beer with someone else's name on it. Kid doesn't read very good- suitcase is filled with Muggs Rootbeer.
 
I had my blackberry stolen from my car 2 weeks ago, i called into Telus and had them put it on hold so it could not be reactivated. I had come to the conclusion i was not getting it back so i  was going to buy a used one from a man off Kijiji. Ten minutes later I get an email from this guy asking me if i could phone into telus and deactivate the phone he had just purchased. I then proceeded to tell the person that he had my stolen phone and i had his name and phone number. I made him take it to the police station and picked it up the next day. So happily i got my blackberry back.

 
Faking a disease for profit and free vacations. How do you expect not to get caught?

Woman faked cancer to raise money
Published On Fri Aug 6 2010
Brendan Kennedy, Staff Reporter

They all thought she was dying of cancer — and they all handed her cash.

Ashley Anne Kirilow, a 23-year-old Burlington native, admits she faked cancer, ran a bogus charity and collected thousands of dollars from hundreds of people.

She shaved her head and eyebrows, plucked her eyelashes and starved herself to look like a chemotherapy patient. She told anyone she met she had been disowned by drug-addicted parents, or that they were dead.

Both parents are alive and well, each in separate marriages with three young children. They both say they did all they could to support their troubled child.

“What I did was wrong,” Ashley said Thursday night. “I was trying to be noticed. I was trying to get my family back together. I didn’t want to feel like I’m nothing anymore. It went wrong, it spread like crazy, and then it seemed like the whole world knew.”

Over the last year, Ashley endeared herself to the all-ages music and skateboard scenes across the GTA and befriended groups of idealistic and energetic teenagers looking for an outlet for their optimism.

They embraced Ashley’s simple cause — pocket change for cancer research — and were inspired by her heartbreaking story. Teams of volunteers organized benefit concerts in her honour, designed T-shirts and made online tribute videos.

“I thought she was an angel,” said Nikki Jumper, 19. “I wanted to be a friend for her because she didn’t seem to have anyone.”

All donations were made in cash and given directly to Ashley in rolls of coins and stuffed envelopes. Nobody asked for a receipt.

The charity was never registered and consisted of little more than a Facebook page.

Over the course of a year, Ashley convinced local businesses and small-scale music promoters to join the cause. She persuaded a legitimate Toronto-based cancer-awareness organization — led by Newmarket skateboarding heartthrob, Rob Dyer — to fly her to Disney World.

More at LINK

Facebook charity page she started - "Change" for a Cure.

MySpace photos of her free vacation to Disneyland.
 
BANG BANG - Or - How I fared when I brought a wrench to a gunfight. A story with a happy ending.

Article link

Homeowner: Attacker Left With No Money, 2 Shells
Man Fends Off Attack, Shoots Would-Be Robber

INDIANAPOLIS -- A man who police said was attacked in his own home by another man he had asked to price some repairs bit off more than he could chew when he encountered James Neligh, 59.

Neligh survived the fight of his life Sunday evening, fending off an attack from Jeremy Stokes, 23, at his home in the 1500 block of East Bradbury Avenue, police said.

Stokes started whacking Neligh on the head with a 12-inch pipe wrench and demanded money, but the homeowner was able to escape his attacker and turn the tables, shooting Stokes twice, investigators said.

Neligh suffered wounds to his head that required nine staples. His ear was smashed and his arms were bruised with defensive wounds as he tried to shield his head, 6News' Derrik Thomas reported. Neligh also suffered a broken finger and bruised side.

After Neligh initially fought off his attacker, he waited on a second surge.

"I decided to go into my bedroom and pick up my pistol in case he came back. When I opened up the bedroom door, there he was," Neligh said. "He raised up his arm again, so I said, 'Bang, bang,' and fired off two shots -- hit him both times. I never fired that pistol before."

Stokes fled the home and collapsed in front of another house nearby, where Theresa Hall helped him.

"I wanted to get him a pillow. He was collapsing. It was boiling hot outside. I thought he was going to die," Hall said. "He had two gunshots, one in the stomach and one in the arm."

The day after the ordeal, neighbors embraced Neligh and showed support for him.

"He's a good guy. He's willing to help anybody out," said Michelle Fallowfied. "He watches out for the whole neighborhood. He had to watch out for himself this time."

"It's kind of crazy out here. You don't know who to trust these days," said neighbor Fred Caldwell. "I would probably have done the same thing. Thank God he's alive."

Stokes is recovering at Wishard Memorial Hospital. When he is healthy, he could face charges of attempted robbery and aggravated assault.

"He needs to suffer the consequences of his actions, to teach the world that this crap don't play," Neligh said.

Charges won't be filed against Neligh.
 
Report: Groom kills 3 guest in accidental shooting
Article Link

Sun Aug 8, 9:17 AM

By The Associated Press
ADVERTISEMENT

ANKARA, Turkey - The state-run news agency says a groom has killed his father and two aunts after opening fire into the air with an automatic weapon to celebrate his wedding.

The Anatolia news agency says eight other relatives were injured during Sunday's celebration in the southeastern province of Gaziantep.

It says the groom lost control of the weapon and accidentally aimed at guests. He was arrested.

It is tradition in Turkey to shoot into the air to celebrate weddings, circumcisions or sports victories. Turkey has failed to curb the practice despite imposing harsher punishments to cut down on stray bullet accidents.

Police in Gaziantep were not available for comment.
end
 
Police call 'Ma' on dropped cellphone, ID suspect
Article Link

Wed Aug 18, 9:17 PM

By The Associated Press
ADVERTISEMENT

ATHENS, Ga. - Thanks a lot, Mom.

Police seeking a man accused of breaking into an elementary school say they identified the suspect by calling "Ma" from the contact list of a cellphone he dropped as he fled.

A police report says officers responding to an alarm at an elementary school in Athens in northeast Georgia arrived in time Monday to see a man running through the cafeteria and out the back door.

Police failed to catch the man, but say he dropped his cellphone as he ran.

According to the report, officers picked up the phone, searched the contact list and called a number marked "Ma." They say a woman who answered gave them her son's name.

The suspect wasn't immediately identified.
More on link
 
Million-to-one shot: Man tries to exchange fake $1 million bills at Emirates' Central Bank
By: The Associated Press Posted: 29/08/2010
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/million-to-one-shot-man-tries-to-exchange-fake-1-million-bills-at-emirates-central-bank-101747278.html

ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates - Can you break a $1 million?

Not a chance. But the story is rich in audacity.

A man from the Ivory Coast is in police custody in Abu Dhabi after allegedly persuading a woman to try to exchange two phoney $1 million bills at the UAE's Central Bank.

Police say the suspect promised the woman a 30 per cent cut after the bills were traded — presumably for U.S. bills or UAE dirham. The suspect was identified in press reports Sunday only by the initials A.B.

The phoney notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front.

The National newspaper quotes Col. Rashid Mohammed Bursheed, the head of the organized crime unit, as saying the suspect claims he thought the bills were real
 
When I was chasing someone for theft in an LCBO (Soon as he passes all points of sale it shows intent for theft, he doesn't have to leave the store) he turned around and saw me coming...but in the vestibule instead of going outside he ran back into the store and we chased him around the store for 5 minutes before finally grounding him and arresting him lol. I don't know what he was thinking he was going to do.
 
Catch this guy's next show at the county jail. At those shows the hecklers punch the comics out.

Article link

Police: 3 Shot When Comic Opens Fire In Bar
Man, 2 Women Shot In Legs In Marion Bar

MARION, Ind. -- Three people were shot when a stand-up comedian opened fire in a crowded Marion sports bar early Saturday, police said.

Witnesses told police that Rodney Carter, 44, walked up to another man at Yeakle's Sports Bar at 3022 S. Washington St. just after 2 a.m. and asked him to repeat something he'd said.

Police said Carter then pulled out a gun and fired several shots at the man's legs, hitting him three times. Two women were also hit in the leg by stray bullets, police said.

Carter had performed at the bar before, but not Friday night. Police said the man who was shot had seen Carter's act before, although police said they didn't know the motive for the shooting.

Carter ran from the bar after the shooting, police said. Investigators released a picture of Carter on Saturday, but said his hair has now been grown out.

All three victims were treated and released from Marion General Hospital.
 
2 arrested in Australia after wrestling python outside McDonald's; snake stolen from pet shop

MELBOURNE, Australia - Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 metre) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday.

Victoria state police say the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said.

The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.

"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's car park — they're pretty dumb."

More at link

Ummm, yep, I'd think so.......  ;D
 
Robbery getaway car locked

It may have been the perfect robbery for Calgarian David William Welychka but for one minor oversight -- he forgot to leave his getaway car unlocked.

Welychka was sentenced to three years Thursday for robbing a southeast Husky station of $800 on Dec. 4, 2007.

Police were able to easily track Welychka to his home after witnesses got his licence number while he searched, in a panic, to find something to smash his way into his getaway vehicle.

Welychka, 54, had locked his keys in his car before entering the Husky and robbing the clerk at knifepoint.

When he went to make his escape and discovered his error he returned to the store to ask for a hammer before exiting again and grabbing a fire extinguisher from near the gas pumps.

He used the device to smash his driver's side window.

Police later found the vehicle parked on the street outside Welychka's home, the extinguisher on the seat inside amid shards of broken glass.

More at link

:rofl:
 
Not even sure what to say...check the link, she is a beauty

http://current.com/1s4bb4c


Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my *****.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my ***** or I’m going to cut your ******* throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

 
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