Avor said:I'm getting out today, radiation in 15 miniutes and then I go live on base fot a few days. The weekend I get to go home, then its only 2 or so treatments before Im home for good.
Almost over, then I can finnaly begin to recouver.
Avor said:But what I cannot plan is how well or fast I will recouver, thus what my future in the CF is. Will my eyrs be shot for life? Will I work as PPCLI doing garrison work? Or will I be medicaly transfered, ending up as a clerk, driver, or some kind of navy job? I hate not knowing, because it stops me from planning.
Sgt Schultz said:Hey now... I'm a driver. The trade is pretty sweet deal, but I'm sure all trades have their little sweet spots too. Being a driver (MSE Op) isn't the end of world. At lease all the places I drove, I haven't found the end of the world. Just remember to keep it all positive. We're all with you.
BTW.. do you know how to double clutch?
;D
Avor said:I hear what your saying. Im home on the couch, but its going to be a while untill I really start to feel better. I guess I woun't untill last treatment is over wensday.
Im just sick of feeling sick.
Avor said:frig, this is what I hate. I literaly just got back from the grocery store, picking up all sorts stuff I hope is good and know is good, but I feel so tired. I hate that my taste is ****ed, or that I can't see frig all outside a room, but I hate being this ******* weak. Not feeling weak, being.
/rant
JimMorrison19 said:From everything I've read your case is a lot worse than mine was - I had testicular cancer. Keep hanging in there man, where you are now is too far down the road to let it overtake you.
Avor said:I know I screwed when people with testical cancer feel sorry for me...I guess its no different than how I feel sorry for people who live 7 months in hospital undergoing treatment.
But this is the suffer in silince part, we know whats up, we just sqaure our sholders and march on. Come on, its only 3 more treatments for crying out loud,I will not be overtaken here. I just keep reaching out for the little comforting things, like anybody , but they are so hit and miss. Hits like tonight, where the saveing grace was imitition crab meat, one of the few things that tastes the same, it felt so good to have any kind of normality. A miss is just a needless kick to the knee, it realy just brings everything else down.
JimMorrison19 said:I never had the issue with loss of taste but I always felt so sick whenever I smelled anything that the only thing I really could eat was graham crackers and apple juice.
Testicular cancer is actually a very treatable kind, and with the way your treatments are going, yours must be too (I'm not too sure about any kind except my own), it's just taking longer. I actually feel glad for you, not sorry, because I'm a firm believer in things like this making people stronger. Do you play Starcraft?
GUNS said:Avor,
From reading your post I am getting the impression that your medical condition is getting the upper hand. That's not good.
You have to be in control of your daily routine. Don't let this get the best of you. Avor, when I was told that I had cancer in three different parts of my body. My family was in the hospital room. After the Dr. explained about the cancers, I just layed in the bed, pondering as to how I should react.
My reaction was decided by my family being there. I made up my mind there and then, that I would never allow my family to know the misery that was to follow. I did not want to pass my misery on to my family or others.
I only allowed the misery to have the upper hand when I was alone and only for a few minutes. Do not allow your mind to dwell on your condition, keep both your mind and body active.
I am surprised that you were not provided with instructions as to how to handle your medical condition.
GUNS said:As with you, I lost all my hair, I went from being a 6' 2", 225lbs to 6'2" 176lbs, everything was tasteless and life sucked.
Avor, no matter how bad things are, stay positive. As my Dr. told a nurse when I was having a very bad chemo treatment. "Soldiers make great patients"
I was always positive, miserable but positive.
You will lick this, your prior post tells me so.
Avor, no more negative rants. One day at a time and before you know it. Its nothing more than a bad dream.
My prayers are with you.