Top 5 things I saw in America which, as a Canadian, freaked me right out

[Gimpy]

One thing that I saw in Florida that was a little uncomfortable was a plaza with an Unemployment Center, Pawn Shop, Liquor Store, and Gun Store. Some bad combinations of things could come out of that plaza. I agree though that I did feel safer in Florida than I do in some parts of Toronto. In Toronto sometimes when out at night I was always checking my back just to be sure, but in Florida at night I felt as if I didn't really need to.

 

[Zell_Dietrich]

Where exactly dont you guys feel safe in Toronto?

I had a moment on Gerrard street,  in little India.  I heard a daughter yelling at her mom (my Hindi is perty bad,  so I didn't get much of it at all) Then the Father tried to calm them both down and before I knew it BANG BANGA BANG BANG.... I was in the middle of a musical number.  It was frightening,  I didn't want to be the ferengi in the background who couldn't do the chorus or the dance steps. Thank goodness it was a simple number.

Three minutes later my veggie thali was still warm,  and I was relieved to have at least kept up.

Now when I was in America (Austin, Chicago and New York) top 5 things that scared me:
1)  Having a city like Neapolitan ice cream.  You know what area is for whom and you know if you're not in the proper area for your color.

2) Multiple subway stops with the same name in Chicago,  which lead me to the discovery of number one. (But I did discover how quickly one could get a taxi, literally did a 180 picked me up and sped off - didn't even turn on his meter)

3) People who were born and raised in Chicago, who I can not understand. It sounds like Jerry Springer's show - honest to god.

4) Explaining to a "trooper" that I'm not an American, nor am I an illegal immigrant.

5) Explaining to that same trooper that I fully support America and Canada becoming one country.  In fact I think it is high time they gave up this silly revolution thing, pay reparations and adopt our Constitution,  including our charter of rights and freedoms. (it was freaky because it was only after 5 minutes he turned red and got upset,  yes 5 minutes I watched a man with a glazed look in his eye trying to comprehend what I said in jest)



In all fairness: top 5 things I loved in America

1) Everyone who is fat, is also on the Atkins diet.  They're getting fatter, but that is just the transition period. They're going to start to really loos the pounds in a week when they start buttering their bacon in the morning. 

2)  I could use Canadian Tire money at Par at Rosco's bar in Chicago.

3)  If you didn't know someones name you could freely use the logo on their shirt as a substitute.  IE S'up Amercrombie

4)  People who use their car for a 5 minute walk.  (No, this is really really true, I got yelled at for walking 6 minutes to a corner store)

5) Money that looks like it is for Monopoly.  I like it because if it continues to devalueate, at 0.64 I will get together a "fun" game. And I'll invite my American friends up.

 

[Trooper Hale]

Zell, your a genius. A comic genius. I cant imagine the terror you felt in that musical number. My God man, how did you cope?
You stay safe zell, and for God's sake, stay out of Toronto, that place must be a death trap!