The WTF News Files

[dimsum]

Chimboza claims Manona attacked him in a jealous rage after accusing him of sleeping with his girlfriend and he ripped out his heart because "it was full of hatred and jealousy."

So....a man sleeping with a woman in SA is considered gay?  ???

The crown prosecutor said that "Because the removal of the heart was not the cause of death per se, it does not therefore have too much bearing on the plea of murder."

I'm not a doctor, but generally removing a heart when not undergoing an operation is usually a main cause of death.

 

[jollyjacktar]

How do you explain this to your wife... neighbours, family and friends.  If you can.

Man who had sex with CHIHUAHUA jailed after wife spots him abusing family pet on security camera
Marc Gonzalez, 61, from Palm Beach County, to spend 100 days in jail
Abused dog on patio of house he shared with wife and three children
Dog bore 'physical trauma' from attack and repeatedly tried to escape

By Christopher Brennan For Dailymail.com

Published: 22:26 GMT, 6 February 2015  | Updated: 05:38 GMT, 7 February 2015

A Florida man who was caught on tape having sex with his family's chihuahua has been jailed.

Marc Ramon Gonzalez, 61, from Palm Beach County, was found out by his wife after she looked at security camera footage of her husband abusing the pet near the patio door.

He pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and sexual activity with an animal and received 100 days in jail along with 12 months' probation, the county clerk's office told Daily Mail Online.

Gonzalez shared his Wellington home with his wife and three young children and would often go out into their backyard .

A police report about the incident, in November 2013, included testimony from a dog expert who said that the dog was constantly in an uncomfortably submissive posture, with his head and ears down while Gonzalez abused him and touched himself.

Gonzalez's wife then rushed outside and confronted her husband.

The animal, which bore marks of physical trauma afterwards, tried to escape multiple times unsuccessfully and 'did not like what was happening'.

The man originally pleaded not guilty before striking a deal with prosecutors.

Sexual activity with an animal is a first degree misdemeanor in Florida, punishable by up to a year in prison or a $1,000 fine.

Animal cruelty is also a first degree misdemeanor and punishable by a year in prison or up to a $5,000 fine.

Cruelty that 'results in the cruel death, or excessive or repeated infliction of unnecessary pain or suffering' is a third degree felony and punishable by up to five years in prison.


'We wish there was stronger laws. We wish people would immediately go to jail and stay there,' Capt. Dave Walesky, Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control, told WPEC.

'It just doesn't make sense why people do things like that. There's no reason to justify something like that,' he said. 

Florida is the number one state for animal abuse crimes, according to Pet-Abuse.com.

The state officially passed a law banning bestiality in 2011, after many years without one.

As of early last year 12 states and the District of Columbia did not have specific laws against bestiality, according to AL.com.

However, many cases of bestiality are prosecuted under animal cruelty charges.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2943193/Man-sex-CHIHUAHUA-jailed-wife-spots-abusing-family-pet.html#ixzz3R5O00vyR
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

[211RadOp]

Green energy?

Pornhub's 'Wankband' encourages masturbating for the environment

Pornhub presents “The Wankband” — wearable tech that purportedly generates energy when you, for whatever reason, move your arm in and up-and-down motion.

That “dirty energy” can later be used to charge digital devices, Pornhub claims. The pornography site calls it “guilt-free electricity.”

“Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment,” the product description reads.

“At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.”

The site said the device is still in development, but encourages people to sign up for beta testing.

“The power,” Pornhub said, “is in your hand.”

http://www.ottawasun.com/2015/02/27/pornhubs-wankband-encourages-masturbating-for-the-environment

 

[jollyjacktar]

I heard about this last night while driving home, laughed my ass off.  ;D

Man caught playing trumpet while driving on West Gate Bridge

Updated 17 Feb 2015, 6:03pm

A motorist struck a bad chord with police when he was caught playing the trumpet while driving over Melbourne's West Gate Bridge.

The 27-year-old man from Portarlington was intercepted by Highway Patrol after it received a number of calls about a black sedan driving erratically towards the city last Friday afternoon.

Police managed to catch up with the car and pulled alongside it to check on the driver.

To their shock, they saw the man was playing the brass instrument as he drove.

The driver was handed a $354 fine for careless driving.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-02-18/man-caught-playing-the-trumpet-while-driving-on-west-gate-bridge/6138106

 

[cupper]

You know, if paranoid conspiracy theorists yell long and loud enough, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, and the government puts them on the watch list. :nod:

Conspiracy Theorists Think an Army Training Exercise Will Bring Martial Law to the US This Summer

https://news.vice.com/article/conspiracy-theorists-think-an-army-training-exercise-will-bring-martial-law-to-the-us-this-summer

An unclassified document that outlines a US Army training exercise scheduled for this summer includes a color-coded map that refers to Texas as "hostile territory" and calls a portion of California an "insurgent pocket," leading a certain fringe on the internet to claim the exercise is really a dress rehearsal for a government plot to declare martial law.

The training exercise, known as Jade Helm 15, is scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15 across parts of Texas, California, Arizona, and New Mexico, and will involve Green Berets, Navy SEALs, and other Special Ops forces. The uproar is over a slideshow presentation that outlines the effects the exercises might have on local populations. The US Army would not confirm the legitimacy of the document.

On the Sleuth Journal, a website that describes itself as an independent alternative media organization and also sells "preparedness and survival items," author Dave Hodges said the drill was actually about "the brutal martial subjugation of the people of Texas, Utah and Southern California who have risen up against some unspecified tyranny."

"A careful analysis reveals how this drill is connected to Army policies associated with the confinement of detainees in what is commonly called FEMA camps!" Hodge wrote, describing a conspiracy theory in which the government imprisons citizens in FEMA disaster camps. "This drill is undoubtedly the most frightening thing to occur on American soil since the Civil War."

Infowars, the conspiracy-minded site founded by Alex Jones, also published a story on Jade Helm 15, calling it a plan for the "brutal martial law takeover of America [that] labels Texas and Utah as 'hostile' states due to their strong cultural identities."

Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria, a spokesman for the US Army Special Operations Command (USASOC) told Stars and Stripes, the exercise is actually "routine training to maintain a high level of readiness for Army Special Operations Forces because they must be ready to support potential missions anywhere in the world on a moment's notice."

'This drill is undoubtedly the most frightening thing to occur on American soil since the Civil War.'
Lastoria said the conspiracy theories were "proposed by a few individuals who are unfamiliar with how and why USASOC conducts training exercises."

He declined to provide details about the exercise to VICE News, but said that USASOC would "publish press and news releases regarding this training exercise as it moves through the development process."

The US government has been accused of using military training exercises as a cover for more nefarious activities several times in the past. Most recently, many of the same outlets concerned about Jade Helm 15 grew suspicious when the US military conducted joint training with a small number of Russian troops on US land in 2012.

"If you are consistently looking for evidence of the imminent imposition of something like this, then everything that comes up, whether it's gun control law or some thing else, it provides more fodder for people, Mark Fenster, a law professor at the University of Florida and author of the book Conspiracy Theories: Secrecy and Power in American Culture. "There have always been and will always be a strata of public opinion that holds that the government is out to get us."

Paul Floyd, a former Army Ranger and senior military analyst at the global intelligence and advisory firm Stratfor, called the theory "ludicrous," and told VICE News that US soldiers would likely be unwilling to ever institute martial law on their fellow citizens.

"Every person I worked for in the military took an oath to defend the constitution, so without any pretext or serious reason to do so, imposing martial law in places where soldiers are from would absolutely generate blowback," Floyd said.

Floyd recalled training to be an Army Ranger and conducting exercises in Georgia and Florida where soldiers labeled territory in those states as hostile or friendly.

"The correlation has nothing to do with the political affiliation of any given state," he said. "They do these exercises all the time, it's directly related to their job, that's what all parts of the military do."

Floyd also noted that it's cheaper and more practical to prepare for international missions by training in the US. The exercises typically occur away from civilian areas, and often take place on terrain similar to what troops can expect to find overseas.

"This training will happen around areas where people live but it won't be exactly where they live, and they will likely try to focus on keeping to the training installation," he said. "These exercises are designed to work on the core skills of units. They're not very secretive, they're not mission specific. They're core skills we need to have.

Related: French experts try to kill conspiracy theory that says Yasser Arafat was poisoned

"The main takeaway here is all about realism for soldiers and making the US military as competent as it can be," Floyd added.

While the Army has not released detailed information on the Jade Helm 15 exercises, Fenster said increased transparency probably wouldn't change the minds of conspiracy theorists anyway.

"The real problem the government has and anyone who is implicated in a conspiracy theory has is that you can't actually respond to them in a way that has much effect," he said. "When you say you're not part of conspiracy they say of course you would say that and you bring more light to the conspiracy theory itself."

Follow Colleen Curry on Twitter: @currycolleen

:facepalm:

 

[Danjanou]

You know, if paranoid conspiracy theorists yell long and loud enough, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, and the government puts them on the watch list. :nod:

Conspiracy Theorists Think an Army Training Exercise Will Bring Martial Law to the US This Summer

https://news.vice.com/article/conspiracy-theorists-think-an-army-training-exercise-will-bring-martial-law-to-the-us-this-summer

:facepalm:

Someone must have been watching this on DVD http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058576/

 

[Oldgateboatdriver]

That's on par with all the Separatist crackpots here in Quebec that claim Ottawa is planning an invasion of Quebec every time the Militia exercises in Eastern Ontario.

P.s.: I remember that movie - wasn't it the one that made the point that all the forces int eh US play politics, except for the Marines?

 

[G.R-B]

Ah! And when they go out of their way to make an impossible scenario, say, a zombie apocalypse, so that this type of confusion doesn't happen, they get flak for wasting money training for imaginary things.  :facepalm:

 

[Lightguns]

That's on par with all the Separatist crackpots here in Quebec that claim Ottawa is planning an invasion of Quebec every time the Militia exercises in Eastern Ontario.

P.s.: I remember that movie - wasn't it the one that made the point that all the forces int eh US play politics, except for the Marines?

Yup, Kirk Douglas is the Marine Colonel ADC to Burt Lancaster the Army General and chief of staff plotting the coup with the help of the Air Force.  He works for the President to undermine Lancaster and POTUS makes a surprise TV address exposing the Army and Air Force. 

 

[CougarKing]

:blotto:

Pulse.ng

Man drowns himself after seeing ugly bride for the first time

Groom Kang Hu was left so disappointed after seeing his bride for the first time that he he attempted to drown himself.

‘I feel bad about what happened but when I saw her she wasn’t what I had expected and I realised she would be bad for my image,’ he said after being fished from a river.

The 33-year-old stunned guests when he apologised to bride Na Sung, 30, after saying she was ‘too ugly’ before the wedding in Shiyan, in central China’s Hubei province.

He hadn’t been able to get a glimpse of her because it was an arranged marriage, which he had been forced into.

Hours after the cancelled ceremony he was spotted lying face down in a river.

(...SNIPPED)

 

[Danjanou]

Yup, Kirk Douglas is the Marine Colonel ADC to Burt Lancaster the Army General and chief of staff plotting the coup with the help of the Air Force.  He works for the President to undermine Lancaster and POTUS makes a surprise TV address exposing the Army and Air Force.

There was a really bad remake made for TV http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109730/

 

[CougarKing]

Note to self: ALWAYS check the actual route on your car GPS!  :facepalm:

Fox News

Woman burned alive in crash after GPS leads driver off demolished bridge

A driver was forced to watch his wife being burned alive Saturday inside their wrecked SUV after he drove off the ramp to a demolished bridge by apparently following GPS navigation, authorities say.

The Times of Northwest Indiana reports 51-year-old Zohra Hussain of Chicago died of burns after the car caught fire following the 37-foot plunge Saturday morning onto property owned by BP in East Chicago, Ind. Her 64-year-old husband, Iftikhar Hussain, survived.

Lake County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman Patricia Van Til said the road is marked with numerous barricades, including orange barrels and cones, large wood signs stating ROAD CLOSED with orange striped markings and concrete barricades across the road. The bridge over the Indiana Harbor and Ship Canal has been closed since 2009.

(...SNIPPED)

How or why would someone ignore all of that?

 

[kratz]

Ref:  Washington Post

Indiana state lawmaker accuses GOP member’s 18-month old son of racism


By Kellan Howell - The Washington Times - Saturday, March 28, 2015
An Indiana lawmaker drew gasps during a debate on the state’s religious freedom bill when she accused a colleague’s 18-month old son of being racist.

Democratic Rep. Vanessa Summers made the comment during a debate on the Religious Freedom Restoration Act in the House, referencing Republican Rep. Jud McMillin’s child.

“I told Jud McMillin I love his son, but he’s scare of me because of my color,” Ms. Summers said to Mr. McMmillin, who is white, during last week’s debate, the Indy Star reported March 24.

Ms. Summers later defended her comment, recalling the meeting with Mr. McMillin’s son earlier in the session.

“He looked at me like I was a monster and turned around and cried,” Ms. Summer said, the newspaper reported. “And I told him you need to introduce your child to some people that are dark-skinned so he will not be scared.”

Mr. McMillin said Ms. Summers‘ comment was “unfortunate.”

“It’s just incredibly unfortunate. You’d like to think that we would have professional discussion on the House floor and certainly be able to avoid having 18-month-olds in the discussion,” he said, Indy Star reported.

“I can tell you that if he reacted the same way he reacts with anybody brand new, he buries his head in his dad’s shoulder,” Mr. McMillin said. “Whoever it is, it’s what he does. He’s an 18-month-old kid; he’s in a new environment up here in a place like the Statehouse but doesn’t know anybody. I honestly don’t remember anything out of the ordinary.”

Ms. Summers later apologized for the comment but blasted critics on her Facebook page for their continued backlash.

“To all of you on my page going off. I did apologize but the news doesn’t report that. I apologized to Jud McMillian and the other members of the House. I done with it. You need to see me I’ll be at the State House on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Come see me I’m not scared of any of you,” Ms. Summers wrote.

This is not the first incident where Ms. Summers has jumped to bash conservatives over racism.

Following President Obama’s press conference on the White House’s plan for air strikes against the Islamic State, during which he wore a tan suit sparking viral media criticism, Ms. Summers posted a photo of the president with the caption “Be Honest, Conservatives – It’s Not The Tan Suit That Bothers You … It’s the Tan President.”

 

[Fishbone Jones]

Kratz, great segue into your sig line! ;D

 

[OldSolduer]

Note to self: ALWAYS check the actual route on your car GPS!  :facepalm:

Fox News

How or why would someone ignore all of that?

What an idiot. Tragiic

Ref:  Washington Post

Another idiot. Not quite as tragic but if this is what Americans elect....and to an extent we do the same.

 

[exectuter]

Not Canada, but a good reminder on professionalism and what not to post online.
Ref: http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/front/archives/2015/04/04/2003615112

Officers face probe after Apache breach

Five officers in an elite special forces unit face disciplinary measures and will be investigated in a judiciary probe after a media storm erupted over television personality Janet Lee showing off pictures of her and her husband sitting in the cockpit of an Apache helicopter at a restricted military base in northern Taiwan

Lee uploaded several photographs of her posing with the US-made AH-64 attack helicopter on Facebook, leading to a furor because the aircraft is off-limits to visitors, as it contains classified weapons technology

Images of the cockpit’s instrument panel were also published.
.... (A snippet)

 

[ModlrMike]

Man dies during sex with scarecrow

The rotting remains of Jose Alberto, whose neighbours said was a loner, were found in his home.
----------------------------

You can't make this stuff up; or at least I can't.

 

[kratz]

CBC.ca

Quebec girl told to stop reading by school bus driver

Sarah Auger, 8, enjoyed reading to and from school, until the bus driver said it was dangerous

:facepalm:

 

[George Wallace]

CBC.ca

Quebec girl told to stop reading by school bus driver

Sarah Auger, 8, enjoyed reading to and from school, until the bus driver said it was dangerous

:facepalm:

Perhaps she was reading "Fifty Shades of Gray".......  >

 

[CougarKing]

I've heard of paid mourners or "crying ladies" at funerals of rich people in certain Asian countries, but strippers? 

Canadian Press

China to crack down on performances by strippers at rural funerals

BEIJING, China - Chinese officials are launching a campaign to crack down on stripteases and other lewd shows that have become popular at funerals in some rural areas, the Ministry of Culture said Thursday.

The ministry said in a statement that it will tighten control over rural culture, where vulgar performances have been thriving because of a general lack of cultural events.

Such erotic performances at funerals are a relatively new phenomenon. Many rural people believe that a large attendance at funerals is a sign of honour for the deceased, and the shows are used to attract more people and display the family's prosperity.

(...SNIPPED)