The WTF News Files

[211RadOp]

Man has sex with pile of leaves in alcohol, drug-induced episode

  Aidan Wallace Aidan Wallace

Published on: October 31, 2019 | Last Updated: October 31, 2019 6:42 PM EDT

You have to wonder what this guy was thinking.

Michael Golsorkhi, 26, is serving eight weeks in a U.K. jail after he drunkenly attempted to have sex with a pile of leaves in the parking lot of a hotel in the town of Stockport, southeast of Manchester, Daily Mail reported.

Families dining in the Beefeater pub next door had a clear sightline of Golsorskhi’s bare behind as he thrust himself into the leaves.

Hotel staff confronted the 26-year-old who pulled up his underwear and escaped into nearby bushes, where he hid for 10 minutes before the police showed up and asked him to come out.

“We saw a white male with his trousers down and we could see his bum. There was nothing between me and this male, he was about a car length away from me and he appeared to be having sex,” an unnamed staff member at the hotel said in a statement.

The statement claimed the staff member shouted at Golsorkhi: “What are you doing, you dirty bastard.”

The staff member claimed he had never seen Golsorkhi, adding, “I was concerned for the hotel guests, there were children staying at the hotel.”

Golhorskhi achieved his impaired state through a combination of alcohol and drugs ranging from cocaine and cannabis, defence lawyer Neville Warburton said.
“He (Golhorski) has no recollection of the behaviour described,” Warburton said, adding, “He cannot explain his behaviour. He is entirely embarrassed about that.”

In his sentencing, the judge ordered Golhorski to pay a $200 fine on top of serving time in jail, and told him to “go out and seek help.”

https://www.thewhig.com/news/world/man-has-sex-with-pile-of-leaves-in-alcohol-drug-induced-episode/wcm/7a231473-d351-4ca5-acaa-7770cb951832

 

[211RadOp]

Only in Toronto  :not-again:

Woman running late for train called 911 asking for 'emergency ride service'

Kayla Goodfield Multi-Platform Writer, CTV News Toronto

Published Thursday, November 21, 2019 10:55AM EST  Last Updated Thursday, November 21, 2019 1:44PM EST

TORONTO -- Police in Ontario are reminding the public to avoid dialing 911 to report non-emergency situations after a woman called to ask if she could get an “emergency ride service” to the train she was running late for.

“Being late for a trip is never ideal,” officers with Peel Regional Police wrote in a tweet on Thursday morning. “Calling 911 to ask the police to act as an ‘emergency’ ride service, to get you there on time? Yeah… not gonna happen.”

The conversation, which was posted in full in the tweet, started with the 911 operator asking if the caller needed assistance from police, fire or an ambulance.

The caller then responded saying, “This is in terms of an officer… I’m supposed to have a trip to Union Station. The ride was supposed to show up for me this morning did not and I don’t know how you guys work with services in terms of that because I’m in a taxi right now but it’s not going to get me to the station on time for my train to board at 9:45 a.m.”

The conversation then went as follows:

Operator: OK, I’m sorry so you’re in a taxi cab and you think you’re going to be late for your train ride at Union Station?

Caller: Yeah.

Operator: So what would you like an officer to do?

Caller: Do you guys offer emergency ride services or not?

Operator: An emergency ride service?

Caller: Yeah. I don’t know how you guys operate.

Operator: Well I can assure you we don’t do that.

Caller: My apologies.

Operator: You can call a cab or get in the cab and go to your appointment. OK?

Caller: OK. Thank you.

Operator: You’re welcome. Bye bye.

Peel Regional Police then wrote: “Only dial 911 if someone’s health, safety or property is in immediate danger or if there is a crime in progress." They also urged callers to dial 905-453-3311 for non-emergency situations.

https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/woman-running-late-for-train-called-911-asking-for-emergency-ride-service-1.4696003

 

[mariomike]

Only in Toronto  :not-again:

I was only familiar with 9-1-1 operations in Toronto. The city Paramedic department alone processes over 400,000 9-1-1 calls per year.
Add to that figure, the call volumes of the city Police and Fire departments.

From the Tweet, it appears this caller was actually in Peel Region. ( Part of the GTA. )

I am sure Call Receivers across Canada and the US answer some weird calls.

I know ours did.

 

[CBH99]

LOL    Honestly how does someone NOT know what 911 does?  At least he was a polite buffoon.   

 

[mariomike]

Sounded like a lady's voice. And yes, she was polite.

I remember when 9-1-1 was introduced in Metro, and looked up the exact date,

"On Monday, March 22, 1982, at about 0430 hours, a new emergency telephone number for Metropolitan Toronto came into being."

Prior to that, Metro Police had one seven-digit number, Metro Ambulance had another, and the six fire departments each had a number of their own.

Later when cell phones became common, callers no longer had to find a telephone booth. Multiple callers were suddenly reporting the same incident.

Those two things led to a tremendous spike in call volume.

 

[211RadOp]

Flip-flop freak foiled

  Postmedia News Postmedia News
More from Postmedia News 

Published on: May 27, 2020 | Last Updated: May 27, 2020 12:14 PM EDT

All kinds of unusual things happen in Thailand and the latest is the arrest of a man with quite a flip-flop fetish.

The man was finally nabbed after stealing more than 100 pairs of the footwear from nearby homes. The kicker: He would have sex with the flip-flops.

Theerapat Klaiya, 24, was arrested after numerous complaints about missing flip-flops in Nonthaburi, central Thailand.

The alleged perpetrator was identified from video footage taken from his most recent alleged caper.

Police found 126 pairs of stolen flip-flops at his rented home during his May 24 arrest. Klaiya allegedly admitted to the thefts and said he wore them around his home because it turned him on. He also detailed further things he would do with the footwear, before having sex with them.

Then he would be on to another pair, though he kept the other ones around.

Police said the man had been previously arrested last year for stealing flip-flops in another district.

”He fully admitted stealing the sandals for lewd purposes, so will be detained at the station until a court appearance for prosecutors to decide on the next part of the legal process for him,” Nonthaburi Major Colonel Ekkaphop Prasitwattanachai said in a statement.

https://www.thewhig.com/news/weird/weird-flip-flop-freak-foiled/wcm/12d9d17b-f5a6-4241-9851-a969a4cbfc9d

 

[dimsum]

https://www.thewhig.com/news/weird/weird-flip-flop-freak-foiled/wcm/12d9d17b-f5a6-4241-9851-a969a4cbfc9d

That made me think (too long) about the mechanics of how sex with a flip-flop would even work.

 

[OldSolduer]

That made me think (too long) about the mechanics of how sex with a flip-flop would even work.

:facepalm:  :facepalm:

Just when I think I've heard everything.

 

[AbdullahD]

That made me think (too long) about the mechanics of how sex with a flip-flop would even work.

I'm worried about you bud..... :S

 

[brihard]

That made me think (too long) about the mechanics of how sex with a flip-flop would even work.

‘Too long’ was redundant in that sentence.

 

[PMedMoe]

Doctors remove cell phone charging cable from man's urinary bladder

Apparently, he also has a history of "accidently" swallowing headphones.  rly:

 

[daftandbarmy]

A professional vandal... that's new one on me:

Police attend the home of Oxford-educated museum curator who tweeted how to destroy bronze statues with household chemicals and said next target was memorial to 'racist' Winston Churchill

• Curator Madeline Odent explained household chemicals could destroy statues
• Black Lives Matter protesters toppled statue of Bristol slave trader on Sunday
• Hertfordshire Police arrived at her home today followings last night's tweets


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8407725/Hertfordshire-police-arrive-home-museum-curator-tweeted-destroy-bronze-statues.html?ito=facebook_share_article-top&fbclid=IwAR1Lrd8TtIiUO700BUdQVFGeE5pn1h-SllMKCcFmOuRdxlwGlZO2JOKPivs

 

[Xylric]

A professional vandal... that's new one on me:

Police attend the home of Oxford-educated museum curator who tweeted how to destroy bronze statues with household chemicals and said next target was memorial to 'racist' Winston Churchill

• Curator Madeline Odent explained household chemicals could destroy statues
• Black Lives Matter protesters toppled statue of Bristol slave trader on Sunday
• Hertfordshire Police arrived at her home today followings last night's tweets


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8407725/Hertfordshire-police-arrive-home-museum-curator-tweeted-destroy-bronze-statues.html?ito=facebook_share_article-top&fbclid=IwAR1Lrd8TtIiUO700BUdQVFGeE5pn1h-SllMKCcFmOuRdxlwGlZO2JOKPivs

Honestly, if you are going to do such things, do it right and make sure it can't be traced to you!

 

[ModlrMike]

Words fail me... except maybe eeewwww

Police seize 345,000 used condoms that were cleaned and sold as new

CNN

 

[Old Sweat]

Words fail me... except maybe eeewwww

Police seize 345,000 used condoms that were cleaned and sold as new

CNN

Just how does one gracefully put condom cleaner on a resume? And, what qualifications and experience are required for the job?

 

[mariomike]

Reminds me of the old joke where the regiment had to vote whether to repair, or replace. 

 

[OldSolduer]

Doctors remove cell phone charging cable from man's urinary bladder

Apparently, he also has a history of "accidently" swallowing headphones.  rly:

Ha - amateurish attempts.

We've had inmates who swallow AA batteries, plastic cutlery, t shirts etc.

Mind you nothing in the bladders...yet.

 

[Dana381]

Words fail me... except maybe eeewwww

Police seize 345,000 used condoms that were cleaned and sold as new

CNN

Just where does someone get 345,000 used condoms? She would have to buy them from someone, brothels likely. So does selling sex not pay enough that they have to resort to used condom sales to make a living?  :facepalm:

 

[CBH99]

I never thought of that.... where does someone source 345,000 USED condoms?  (Rhetorical, I think Dana nailed it)

Goodness gracious...


Bright side?  That's quite the unique entrepreneurial idea  ;D

 

[Gunnar]

Apparently, all you need to do is turn them inside out and shake the f*** out of them.  Or so I have heard.... ;D