....WESTERN soldiers in Afghanistan are by necessity becoming amateur anthropologists. The Americans, in fact, have even hired a few of the professional sort to help them understand tribal dynamics in the wild provinces of Afghanistan. But a study of the tribes of ISAF, the NATO-led force in Afghanistan, might be just as important to win the war. What would it conclude? The different shades and patterns of fatigues, headwear and eating habits in the Kabul headquarters suggest complex intermixing.
Outside the capital, however, a pattern emerges. There are two main tribal confederations. The north of Afghanistan is settled by tribes speaking Romance and Germanic languages; they think they are in Afghanistan to make peace. A core of English-speaking tribes descended from the noble britanee dominates the south; they think they are there to wage war (Scandinavians are split among both groups).
The northerners have overcome centuries of internecine tribal conflict at home and do not understand why others cannot do the same; they look upon the southerners as brutes, preferring blood to women and good food. The southerners, in turn, look upon the northerners as lazy and effete; their wiser heads know that winning is impossible, but say any business with foes must be conducted from a position from strength.
Dapper in their desert fatigues and regimental caps, the britanee are much reduced in strength but remain the aristocracy, and are bards of ISAF, preserving the memory of their ancient passage through the Hindu Kush in works such as the Flashman series of novels. The britanee nowadays form a permanent alliance with their descendants, the big, brash, rich and war-like amerikanzoi.
The latter have the best kit but refuse to heed the wisdom of the britanee who warn that invading Afghanistan is easier than holding it. The words of a revered high priest of the English-speaking federation, Winston Churchill, writing about the character of the Afghan tribesman, might just as easily be applied to the amerikanzoi: he “embarks on war with careless levity”.
Two smaller groups complete the English-speaking confederation. The kanadee, who speak a similar dialect as their amerikanzoi neighbours and are often mistaken for them, once tried to distinguish themselves from the amerikanzoi by adopting northern habits of peacefulness and social security. But have latterly reverted to southern-style martial toughness.
The australzoi are a distant tribe, hailing from the other side of the world, but their love of fighting has brought them to wage war alongside the amerikanzoi cousins. Sundry other groups have attached themselves to this southern federation, such as the hollandee, a small Germanic people who wish to distinguish themselves from the now-pacific Germans. The polonee are poor but fight with the amerikanzoi in the hope of protection from their Slavic foes closer to home, the russee, who also came to grief in the Hindu Kush.
So for ISAF the art of war in Afghanistan involves two aims: to identify cleavages among hostile Afghan tribes than can be exploited, and to stop its own tribes from falling out and losing heart....
