Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

[kkwd]

Seems artillery shells serve more than one purpose, according to this guy at least.
Story Link

88-year-old French man hospitalized after inserting an artillery shell from World War I into his rectum. The hospital had to call the bomb squad.

Leon Wolf
December 23, 2022

In what will hopefully be the only story of its kind this year, a bomb squad was apparently called to a French hospital after an 88-year-old man was discovered to have placed an ancient artillery shell up his backside "for pleasure," according to Insider. The unnamed senior citizen is expected to make a full recovery and no one else in the hospital was harmed in the incident, although the hospital was briefly evacuated.

According to the International Business Times, which (perhaps fairly) described the man as a "pervert," the shell in question was about 8 inches in length and 2 inches in diameter. When the man presented to the hospital and explained his... condition, the doctors were understandably concerned and called a bomb squad. Both the adult and pediatric emergency departments were evacuated and all incoming emergencies were diverted to other hospitals for a time.

However, the bomb squad told the doctors that there was "little risk" of the shell actually exploding, and that it was likely a collectors' item used by the French military. Doctors were accordingly able to remove the object by surgically opening his abdomen.

One of the doctors involved in the surgery told French publication Var-Martin, "An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn't be. But a shell? Never!"

It was not immediately clear where the man obtained the shell in question, although they are now commonly used as collectors' objects. The unnamed man is described as now being in "good health."

 

[Navy_Pete]

I don't get it, if that's your thing, they make toys for that. Can't believe the doctor is non-plussed about food or shaving foam cans though, but makes sense given how many funny stories ER nurses and doctors have about stupid people self actualizing.

 

[Blackadder1916]

It must be a Christmas December thing. From last year.

In honour of St Barbara's day I suppose:

Bomb squad called to hospital after man arrives with WWII-era mortar stuck in his rectum

GLOUCESTER, Eng. (TND) — A bomb squad was reportedly called to a hospital in England after a man arrived with a mortar shell stuck in his rectum. Members of the11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment responded to a call fromGloucestershire Royal Hospital on Thursday after the patient was...

tinyurl.com

 

[brihard]

We’re close to the end of the year, and the publication of the annual medical compendium of “what did humans get stuck where this year?” It’s always a fun read.

 

[Booter]

Guys. I just fell weird.

 

[Weinie]

Guys. I just fell weird.

Could happen.

 

[medicineman]

Guys. I just fell weird...conveniently naked.

FTFY.

 

[PMedMoe]

Guys. I just fell weird...completely naked and apparently quite lubed.

FTFY.

 

[brihard]

Look, who hasn’t tripped on a lava lamp getting out of the shower?

 

[GR66]

Look, who hasn’t tripped on a lava lamp getting out of the shower?

OMG Pleeeeeezzzzeeee tell me it wasn't turned on!

 

[brihard]

OMG Pleeeeeezzzzeeee tell me it wasn't turned on!

The lava lamp or the patient?

 

[PuckChaser]

 

[Weinie]

Apparently it's not a one-way street.