career_radio-checker said:
I respect Veterans rights to keep the really 'sensitive' stories to themselves and their buddies, but it would really be nice to have a genuine conversation with Veterans over a beer. Any ideas on how I can approach a veteran and get them to say more than just their 'name, rank and serial number'?
Ask sincere questions. Don't just leap in. Start with easy ones, like "How old were you when you joined?" "Why did you join?" "What did you do before the war?" Don't fixate on violence.
Pay attention to what they say.
Don't take over the conversation with your own stories. They will shut down.
They should be doing 90% of the talking, you should be doing 90% of the listening.
Comparing Bosnia to the Italian Campaign will piss them off, but they will usually be too polite to let you know.
Ask open-ended questions. Validate what they say. Respect boundaries.
Don't talk to them if you have been drinking. You will be inattentive without realizing it.
Their friends bled for their memories.
Pay close and sustained attention to the answer, or don't ask.
That's why most vets have a simple "Thanks for the question, now 'get lost'" response - 60 years of people not really interested in the answers.
November 11 might not be the best day ... too much going on ... but vets' hospitals are always full of people looking to have a visitor. They love it when somebody young shows up to lend an ear.
Also remember for some of them, age has taken its toll, and it is physically hard for them to speak or listen - so cut the old fellers some space if they need it.
I've talked to many veterans, and some have opened up a lot ... again, it's all about paying close attention to the answers. Set aside at least 30 minutes or don't even start ...
my 2 cents
Edit to add:
Don't be afraid of silence ... if there's a two-minute pause in the conversation, let it be. They are pulling up old stories. Just sip your drink, have a pretzel, and wait for the rest of the story ...