PC Child Rearing

[a_majoor]

Those Born 1920-1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU ar e one of them.CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

 

[Hawk]

We didn't realize just how lucky we were. Its no wonder society's in the mess its in - no one thinks for themselves or solves their own problems anymore. I had that e-mailed to me once before, and sent it on to my son who was born in 1979 and raised just like that. Nowadays I'd be considered a poor parent. He turned out okay, can handle defeat, failure, success, and he's a talented artist to boot!


Hawk

 

[JBoyd]

I was born in 81, and was raised like that. I wish personally I could raise my kids like that, but unfortunately today its really hard to do (for the most part)

 

[exgunnertdo]

I actually let my seven-year-old walk to school by himself.  Even when it's snowing, or raining, or cold.  Imagine that!

My sister, on the other hand, raised in the same house as me, much like the post above, commented to me how shocked she was to see a little girl, no older than about 8 walking to school ALL BY HERSELF!  WITH NO ADULT!!  Something we did every day for our whole school experience, from Kindergarten. 

 

[Hawk]

Its sad that in a lot of places in this day and age kids have to be driven everywhere. Its just not safe in cities especially to allow kids out on the street alone. Much as I don't approve of it, if I was raising my son in Winnipeg, now, I wouldn't let him too far out of my sight. He was fortunate to grow up in a village in Saskatchewan till he was 7, where he could be completely free-range. After that we lived in a small city where, with some restrictions, he still went most places alone. It gave him some early experiences at independence that kids today just don't get. Its too bad.

Another thing I didn't mention above, commenting directly to the first post - when we were kids, we couldn't even LOOK bored, let alone admit to it. Something was found for you to do. "Got nothing to do?"  Mow the lawn (or shovel the walk in winter). Go wash your hands and help me in the kitchen. This time of year, there were floors to polish, silver to clean, baking to help with etc, etc! I had the added attraction of growing up in the country - I could always be sent to collect the eggs or feed the chickens! I didn't have time to be bored! We had CHORES - and we could be made to do them!


Hawk

 

[Klc]

I was eight 12 years ago in Winnipeg, and I walked to school alone all my life. I live to tell about it.

 

[Hawk]

12 years ago I'd have allowed my young man to walk around, some places, on his own. In fact, about 12 years ago - yes, almost exactly, he was working with an artist in the Market Square area, and taking the commuter bus out to Selkirk late Saturday afternoons, and I wasn't bothered overly about it. Now we've had murders 1 block from where he worked, and in various places - other than the North End. Its just not safe anymore, and its too bad.

A funny incident, though, around the same theme. When he was 18 my son went to Scotland, on his own, to visit cousins in Aberdeen. He flew into Glasgow and took the train from there. I went crazy till he phoned and told me he was standing in his cousins' living room. Anyway, he'd been back about a month, and went into the city with his best friend to get a tattoo. His buddy's mom phoned hours later to see if we'd heard from the boys. He flew into one of the toughest cities in Britain all by himself, I wasn't too worried about him spending the day in Winnipeg!


Hawk

 

[Roy Harding]

I raised three sons (during the '80s and '90s) to man high - they're all on their own now.

We lived in a variety of places (go figure - I was a soldier), from major cities (Calgary and Edmonton) to small towns (Morinville, Alberta, Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta) to "PMQ Patches" (Calgary, Petawawa, and Edmonton).

None of them, EVER (with the exception of having to take over-sized "science projects" to school) got a ride to school.  None of them, EVER had a problem with it.

ALL of them, ALWAYS (from the time they were six years of age) had various responsibilities around the house - cleaning the kitchen, doing the dishes, cooking dinner (from the time they were 10, supervised, and from the time they were 12, unsupervised), cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the house - like that. 

ALL of them got an allowance - to be honest I don't recall the formula - it had something to do with their age, until they were 14 - at that time, we sat down with them, figured out what their monthly "needs" were, to include clothing, recreation, projected school fees, projected club fees (Boy Scouts, swim club - whatever), projected "needed things" - computers, calculators, whatever - divided it by 12 and that's what they got every month.  Every one of them screwed it up - and that's OK, it was a training exercise after all.  Their allowance was NOT pay for their various duties around the house - those duties were just expected as a necessity for keeping the house going.  They did occasionally earn extra money for things not NORMALLY expected of them - building a fence, painting the house trim, that kind of thing - the normal, everyday housekeeping duties were just expected of them.

None of them ever had a serious problem with "street violence", although in a couple of places we lived it was a local concern.  They all had occasional problems with school bullies, but nothing outside of what I recall from my own youth.  In one case (that I recall), we stepped in with the school authorities and the parents, in two cases (that I recall) - they sorted it out themselves (read - beat the crap out the bully involved - then I dealt with the bully's parents, in one case the parents were surprised to learn of their son's history, in the other it was somewhat more tense - nama problema).  No worries.

As they grew older, all of them attended the U of A - and the oldest one especially (my Mech Eng) got into a few silly scrapes on Whyte Avenue (the main party strip in Edmonton).  When stopped by the police, he became extremely polite, apologized, and was let to carry on home (except for one memorable incident - I was in Afghanistan at the time and never did get all the details, he spent a night in "the tank" and was let go) - go figure, a university kid apologizing for being an idiot (which he was being).  None of them ever got into any extreme trouble - either on the receiving or delivering end.  They're all respected professionals in their chosen fields now.

I understand that parents today think that the environment is "more dangerous" than it was when I was an active parent.  I also understand that I felt the same vis a vis my situation and MY parents'.  I also understand that they (my parents) felt the same way regarding the situation I was growing up in (the '60s) and the situation in which THEY grew up (the '30s and '40s).  And so it goes.

I understand that the "rough neighbourhoods" are rougher than they used to be.  The stats bear this out.  I ALSO understand that MOST of us ("US" being members of the CF) don't LIVE in the "rough" neighbourhoods.  I also KNOW that, outside of the "rough neighbourhoods", things haven't changed much since the '30s (and perhaps earlier) - when MY Dad was growing up.  Kids get bullied - they need to learn how to deal with it.  Kids can either get into trouble, or can be shown how to avoid it (IE - be kept busy - Boy Scouts, Cadets, Swim Team, Hockey Team, Baseball Team, whatever).  When kids AREN'T involved in one of these activities, there's plenty to be done around the house.  They don't need to go to Billy's house when Billy's parents aren't home - Billy can come here.  If they AREN'T at home, or a pre-approved activity, you need to know where they ARE - and it won't be "hangin' around the 7-11".

I really think MOST of this alarm regarding children's safety is BS - unless you live in an exceptionally bad neighbourhood, things aren't that different from when your Grandparents were kids.

PC children raising be damned.

 

[1feral1]

I grew up in the 60s and 70s in Saskatchewan. At the age of 8, had my own house key, and was left alone often from 4pm til after 6, M-F as my parents worked, and my sister was older and in high school.. My Dad had guns and a bar, and none was ever abused.

There is too much PC these days.

Cheers,

Wes

 

[JBoyd]

+1 Roy, from this and other posts you have made you seem to be and have been an excellent father and role model for your children.

Personally, as much as I would like my children to be able to play in the yard it just isnt feasable in my neighborhood. Not only is it a rough part of town, but the street I live on is commonly used as a passage between major roadways. So, unfortunately; I have idiots driving 80+ down a residential street, with a small blind bend just up from my house. Needless to say it is a major safety concern. With that being said, If situations were different I personally would be more then willing to raise my children the way I was raised. I have nephews that are vidiots and whatnot and I have expressed my concern to my wife and made it quite clear that any TV/Video Game time our children does have will be closely monitored/restricted and they will be forced to 'go outside and play, Unless of course it is a rainy day, Then there are plenty of board games and puzzles

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This is very true from my adolescence. My father was an Optimist at one point and due to that knew quite a few of the local constables (would have been one himself if his brother hadn't of gotten himself into serious trouble, long story.. not the time). Anyways, I remember a few times where I had an encounter with one of my fathers friends who would, out of courtesy, call him and inform him of the given situation, Each time the response being somewhere on the lines of "let him stay the night, it will be good for him"

 

[Roy Harding]

+1 Roy, from this and other posts you have made you seem to be and have been an excellent father and role model for your children.

Personally, as much as I would like my children to be able to play in the yard it just isnt feasable in my neighborhood. Not only is it a rough part of town, but the street I live on is commonly used as a passage between major roadways. So, unfortunately; I have idiots driving 80+ down a residential street, with a small blind bend just up from my house. Needless to say it is a major safety concern. With that being said, If situations were different I personally would be more then willing to raise my children the way I was raised. I have nephews that are vidiots and whatnot and I have expressed my concern to my wife and made it quite clear that any TV/Video Game time our children does have will be closely monitored/restricted and they will be forced to 'go outside and play, Unless of course it is a rainy day, Then there are plenty of board games and puzzles

This is very true from my adolescence. My father was an Optimist at one point and due to that knew quite a few of the local constables (would have been one himself if his brother hadn't of gotten himself into serious trouble, long story.. not the time). Anyways, I remember a few times where I had an encounter with one of my fathers friends who would, out of courtesy, call him and inform him of the given situation, Each time the response being somewhere on the lines of "let him stay the night, it will be good for him"

I lived on a major thoroughfare when I was a kid.  It was a huge safety concern for my parents, just like for you.  They taught me to NEVER, EVER enter that street for ANY reason (soccer ball be damned) - made sure that I'd absorbed the lesson (this may have involved a spanking or two), and then let me be.  I understand this is a concern for younger children (under eight or thereabouts), but it really shouldn't be a concern for children old enough to understand consequences (be those consequences from traffic or parents).

There's a (in my experience) terrifying thing involved in being a parent.  There comes a time when you have to trust that your children have absorbed the lessons you've imparted.  You have to (at an age appropriate time) let them take risks.  If you've taught them well, they'll take reasonable risks - sometimes, even if you've taught them well, they'll take UNreasonable risks - but they have to take them, and when they get hurt, you have to deal with that.  It's not fun, and I wish it weren't true - hell, I wish I could protect my full grown sons now, but I can't - but such has been the lot of parents since time began.  It's a tough row to hoe - but you need to do it.

Traffic concerns shouldn't be a big deal - (I don't know the age of your kids) - they can be trained (conditioned) to stay clear of the street.  To this day I stop before crossing a street, look left, then right - THEN I go get my soccer ball - no kidding.

 

[JBoyd]

I lived on a major thoroughfare when I was a kid.  It was a huge safety concern for my parents, just like for you.  They taught me to NEVER, EVER enter that street for ANY reason (soccer ball be damned) - made sure that I'd absorbed the lesson (this may have involved a spanking or two), and then let me be.  I understand this is a concern for younger children (under eight or thereabouts), but it really shouldn't be a concern for children old enough to understand consequences (be those consequences from traffic or parents).

There's a (in my experience) terrifying thing involved in being a parent.  There comes a time when you have to trust that your children have absorbed the lessons you've imparted.  You have to (at an age appropriate time) let them take risks.  If you've taught them well, they'll take reasonable risks - sometimes, even if you've taught them well, they'll take UNreasonable risks - but they have to take them, and when they get hurt, you have to deal with that.  It's not fun, and I wish it weren't true - hell, I wish I could protect my full grown sons now, but I can't - but such has been the lot of parents since time began.  It's a tough row to hoe - but you need to do it.

Traffic concerns shouldn't be a big deal - (I don't know the age of your kids) - they can be trained (conditioned) to stay clear of the street.  To this day I stop before crossing a street, look left, then right - THEN I go get my soccer ball - no kidding.

Well my oldest is turning 3 soon, so he is still a little young to absorb the lessons I am trying to instill (my wife constantly says I treat him as if he is older, which perhaps I do). He usually is good about running out towards the street on his own, and he will hold our hands to cross the street when we are walking, also does a very good job with staying on the sidewalk while walking down the street. However, his mind is still one-tracked and if he is playing with a ball, any ball for that matter, and it rolls out towards the street he will follow it with out thinking.

I personally dread the day when I will no longer be able to protect my sons, however as you said it is a natural part of growing up and parenting and one must let his children grow up and be their own people. 'bubble wrapped' children don't have very fullfilling lives.

 

[Roy Harding]

Well my oldest is turning 3 soon, so he is still a little young to absorb the lessons I am trying to instill (my wife constantly says I treat him as if he is older, which perhaps I do). He usually is good about running out towards the street on his own, and he will hold our hands to cross the street when we are walking, also does a very good job with staying on the sidewalk while walking down the street. However, his mind is still one-tracked and if he is playing with a ball, any ball for that matter, and it rolls out towards the street he will follow it with out thinking.

Seen.  Thus my "age appropriate" proviso - of course at three years of age, I doubt he's out there by himself.

I personally dread the day when I will no longer be able to protect my sons, however as you said it is a natural part of growing up and parenting and one must let his children grow up and be their own people. 'bubble wrapped' children don't have very fullfilling lives.

It's one of the harder things you have to do in life.  It's made harder because there is no manual to guide you and tell you when and under what circumstances to let them fall down and hurt themselves - and it never stops.  Our oldest son, 26 now and a self-employed engineer , recently made a couple of business decisions that I'm convinced are going to bite him on the ass.  The decisions are implemented and are none of my business.  It took everything I (with his Mother's help insistence) had to keep my big mouth shut and simply wish him well.

Questioning yourself regarding parenting is natural and never ending.  You'll be alright, trust your instincts - leave the political correctness to the politicians.

Best of luck to you - have fun watching those little guys grow.

 

[JBoyd]

Seen.  Thus my "age appropriate" proviso - of course at three years of age, I doubt he's out there by himself.

It's one of the harder things you have to do in life.  It's made harder because there is no manual to guide you and tell you when and under what circumstances to let them fall down and hurt themselves - and it never stops.  Our oldest son, 26 now and a self-employed engineer , recently made a couple of business decisions that I'm convinced are going to bite him on the ***.  The decisions are implemented and are none of my business.  It took everything I (with his Mother's help insistence) had to keep my big mouth shut and simply wish him well.

Questioning yourself regarding parenting is natural and never ending.  You'll be alright, trust your instincts - leave the political correctness to the politicians.

Best of luck to you - have fun watching those little guys grow.

Thanks, and yes he is never outside alone, infact I dont think he ever is left alone in public. My wife is completely paranoid about someone snatching our son, which in this day an age is completely plausible and possible.

My wife commonly keeps me in check in regards to raising our son, mostly due to as I mentioned before treating him as if he is older than 3. As far as PC parenting goes... it can be damned. There are a few issues that irk me, such as: no child in our area is allowed to bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school anymore. I dont know if this is nation wide or just local, but apparently it is due to peanut-allergenic children. This I can understand, however; has the number of those type of children risen significantly since I was a child and in elementary? I was raised on PB&J and it will be a shame if my son's will miss out on what I always thought as a great benefit to being a child (not that one cannot enjoy a good PB&J when they grow up )

Also, is it just me or do cartoons thesedays completly and utterly suck compared to the ones I watched on saturday morning as a child. Gone are the days of The Smurfs, GI Joe, He-Man, etc. I recently heard that the first seasons of Sesame Street that were released on DVD were deemed for adult viewing only as they contained inappropriate material for children. Apparently the rough streets they lived on and the fact that snuffleluffagus was a hallucination are too harsh for children of today.

I have a crazy plan to buy up all the 80's cartoons DVD's I can and create a saturday morning cartoon scheme for my son's to watch, so that they may enjoy what I believe are the best saturday morning cartoons (not to discredit any previous generations). Cartoons of today are cheesy and PC and I can barely stand watching them.

 

[Roy Harding]

You poor deprived man - He-Man?  Smurfs? GI Joe?

You've got it all wrong - you want Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Tweety and Sylvestre, Foghorn Leghorn, Mighty Mouse, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Quick Draw McGraw.  THOSE are REAL cartoons!  (S'all right?, s'all right)

Wives are wonderful brakes on our more hare brained schemes, ESPECIALLY when it comes to your kids - try to pay attention to yours, but not TOO much attention - that's a fine line we all walk.

Have fun with your boys - you only get one shot at it with each one.

 

[JBoyd]

You poor deprived man - He-Man?  Smurfs? GI Joe?

You've got it all wrong - you want Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Tweety and Sylvestre, Foghorn Leghorn, Mighty Mouse, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Quick Draw McGraw.  THOSE are REAL cartoons!  (S'all right?, s'all right)

Well I say, Wel.. Wel.. Well I say Boy, If I listed all the cartoons I loved to watch I would still be writing the previous post. Any Looney Tunes are pretty much a given, but fortunately those are still aired around here . unfortunatly Tom & Jerry is not. Although I miss the old animation, the animation of today just seems ... I don't know.. wrong?

 

[Traveller]

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

Wanted to share that my mom smoked and had a few while she carried each of us to term. On birth both of us were 9 lbs approx, and turned out to be 250lbs+ each.  I always wonder if my mom had not smoked (thus lowering birth weight) , would my brother who is 6'4" be much taller. lol.

On the other hand, both him and I were not allowed as children to play with some of the cousins. There moms were always keeping the handiwipes at the ready, watching with aprehension as both me and my brother dug holes in the back yard up to our necks, filled them with water and jumped into the mud.

Personally i think kids need mud, and dirt and a bit of abrasion, with a few broken bones, and some challenges. I see too many of my friends nowadays raising their kids in bubbles.

 

[PMedMoe]

Any Looney Tunes are pretty much a given, but fortunately those are still aired around here

Yes, and nowadays they are quite butchered to cut out all the "violence" in them.  :

 

[Cliffy433]

I'm probably opening up a can of worms here...

But don't forget - many of us were also spanked.  You screw up, you get punished.  Learn and try to not get spanked again.  I'm not a serial killer, or maladjusted... are you?

I also had my mouth washed out with soap, and to this day, WILL NOT utter the word, "F**K" in my mother's house.  I say "sh!t" with great trepidation, and squeak out the odd "d@mn", "h*ll", and "@$$" just to remind her I'm 31, married, and am now permitted to say those words.

tlm.
PS raised in small town Saskatchewan fr the age of 4-18 - didn't need a key for the house, it was only locked when we were on holidays, and then at least two neighbours had keys.

 

[ixium]

I live in a 'bad' part of Windsor(the villages or little river acres as they are now known) where little 10-18year wannabe gangs travel around all the time. I've lived in the area for almost 10 years and my door isn't locked. Heck, I don't even know where a key is if I wanted to lock it when I left.