No such thing as a stupid question...

[TN2IC]

In my PRes days if I troop came to me to state something at my desk...I would ask them if the would like a cookie... And of course they would try to be smart and say yes.... I would then reach down and pull out bag of Oreos. It totally throws them in a loop.

 

[Darth_Hamel]

I actually had an MWO ask me why I DID NOT bring a fishing rod to an ex. Luckily, he was kind enough to share his trout with me.

That's what happens when you go on an Ex to support the Navy. Damn I wish I'ld gone on that Ex too.

 

[Dissident]

RE: "are you in the army?"

A: Nope, I'm an extra in a movie...

 

[2929]

That's what happens when you go on an Ex to support the Navy. Damn I wish I'ld gone on that Ex too.

Yeah sometimes when they ask, "Who wants candy?" They literally have candy, or fresh trout, or an ADATS to play with, or low level B-52 and F-16 air strikes to call in, or a canoe to paddle around in, or beer.

 

[exgunnertdo]

Not so much a stupid question, but a funny misunderstanding...

Back in Army Reserve/Civvie teaching days, I had a little mishap with a gerber on a weekend ex.  I show up at school Monday morning with a big honkin' bandage on my thumb, complete with strips of the bandage wrapped around my wrist to keep the whole thing on.  Of course my grade 7 students want to know what happened.  A quick explaination, and a girl in the front row asks what the strings are for.  I reply "to keep it from falling off, I guess."  Her eyes get very wide, and I clarified, "the bandage, not my thumb!!!" :  Sweet kid, not very swift....

 

[brihard]

Every couple of months some civilian invariably asks me if I'm a cadet... I can't figure that one out- I'm only 19, sure, but I'm not exactly a babyface either... Plus since when do cadets have helmets?

I'll try to remember some good ones. I'm on PLQ mod 2 this weekend, so a few may be overheard...

 

[Trinity]

I'm also a baby face....

I wear my collar as a Deacon.. but I look exactly like a priest.
I get tons of people asking me.. are you a real priest?

and I think to myself... is it Halloween?  But
I never say it to their face....  :

 

[Parked4everuser]

Being on a PAT Plt I get to hear a lot of stupid questions from a lot of uninformed, untrained troops (yes, myself being one of them). Mind you, I'm in a infantry regiment, so, as you may imagine, there are some pretty odd dumb questions.

"Sgt, if I have my own bayonet, can I bring it with me on BMQ?"
"Well, was it issued to you, Bloggins?"
"No..."
"Then NO."
"What if I had my own rifle?"
"What the F*** did I just tell you?"

(Talking about the SHRAA-lite [sp?])
"MCpl, could this fire under water?"
"...You'd never be in a situation to fire this underwater... ... ... and no, it can not."

"Sgt, don't combats reflect, or deflect or something... uh with night-vision?"
"You mean absorb night-vision?"
"Yes, Sgt."
"NO"

"Could I spray air-freshner on my cold-weather jackets? They smell stale and sort of mildewy"
"Not unless you want to smell like f***ing potpourri out in the field"

I'll admit it, I said that last one, lol. But I didn't mean scented air freshner! ...we all say stupid things at one time or another  :dontpanic:

Those are the only ones I can remember, oddly. I'm drawing blanks right now. I know there's been dumber questions.

 

[FredDaHead]

How about a stupid answer?

On winter warfare, during IAP.

Sgt: "Can any of you name a war or operation that took place during the winter?"
OCdt Bloggins: "Uh, the Cold War, Sgt?"

But then again, he was the king of stupid questions.

MCpl: "You will write '1' in one pair of boots and '2' in the other pair. Wear the '1' boots on odd days, and the '2' boots on even days."
OCdt Bloggins: "Uh, MCpl, how do we know which day is odd and which is even?"

 

[Cliffy433]

Civvie 6yo at Dog and Pony: "Are you in the army?"
Me (in jovial tone): "No, I wear this to display my keen sense of fashion."
6yo Girl: "That's not fashion!  That's UGLY!"

- ouch, burned on a turn-around by a 6yo.

My all-time least favourite stupid question:

While listening to your local radio station's "All Request Lunch Hour", or other such "All Request (insert program name / time frame here)" when people call in and ask, "Can I request a song?"

I have to admit - I'm guilty of that one too.

tlm.

 

[Welshy]

We had this not so bright fellow on our IAP who walks into a room holding a pair of boots and asks:
"Is it more efficient to put on the right boot first or the left one."

He also woke up one of the guys in the middle the night and asked him where the light switch was at in his room. He had been in the same room for 3 weeks already. :brickwall:

 

[Stauds]

One of the soldiers I've been training with since the beginning is the king of stupid questions. Sometimes I think he does it for fun, but othertimes... I don't know.

At BMQ: "Will we be issued condoms for our rifles? You know, to put on the end of the barrel?"
At SQ: "If the gas plug of the C6 fell on a nail and made the hole bigger, would it fire faster?" Haha I know he wasn't serious with this one.

Those are just a couple outstanding questions of his, I can't remember them all. I think he's smartened up now that we are almost done BIQ.

 

[brihard]

I might as well tell this one before someone else does...

First weekend of PLQ I think, we're getting lectures on... uh, well, lectures. At one point they're going over training aids, board presentations, etc. One of the instructors has one of those nifty extendible pointers that they were using in this demo lecture, I think to show stuff out on a map. So, before I realized I was inevitably bringing mockery upon myself I piped up, "MCpl, I haven't got one of those pointers, but could I bring a laser?"

Since then no one misses a chance to use the word 'laser' in a conversation. There's even an amusing photoshop of me shooting a laser beam out of my eyes, a la X-Men.

At least I can laugh at myself. 

 

[RHFC_piper]

Just some more responces to the question "are you in the army?"

"No, these are my gang colours."

"No, just hunting humans."

"You can't see me.. I'm Camoflaged."

 

[Thompson_JM]

Just some more responces to the question "are you in the army?"

"No, these are my gang colours."

"No, just hunting humans."

"You can't see me.. I'm Camoflaged."

No Ma'am, Scouts Canada Special Forces.....

No Sir, Tactical Branch of the Salvation Army....

No But I play one on TV....

Nope, I heard Digi-Cam is Slimming so....


Here's Your Sign......  :

 

[Jaydub]

When I was on my Artillery course in the reserves, we were turning in our weapons for before weekend leave.  I asked the Mbdr if we could wear our uniforms home.  His answer was "They say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but this one is pretty close" or something like that.  Everyone laughed, but I really didn't think it was all that stupid.