- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
no
My parents say no
- Thread starter Khaalid
- Start date
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Depends on your trade, and your career manager.
We've been moved around on average every 4 years or so, thing is my husband went through a few trades. First he was a Supply Tech, then he remustered (changed trades) to Avionics Systems Tech (AVS Tech) so we had to get moved to Borden, then to his first real posting as an AVS, Comox. Then he remustered to AESOP and then we got posted to where we are now. Been married for about 8 years...
Every trade and career manager is different, so your mileage may vary.
It's not that bad. Find a good partner that's able to deal with the BS and you're all good. (and deployments...and stuff) Me, I was a base brat, and now a military wife, and soon to be reservist *knocks on wood* It's the life I've always known and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
We've been moved around on average every 4 years or so, thing is my husband went through a few trades. First he was a Supply Tech, then he remustered (changed trades) to Avionics Systems Tech (AVS Tech) so we had to get moved to Borden, then to his first real posting as an AVS, Comox. Then he remustered to AESOP and then we got posted to where we are now. Been married for about 8 years...
Every trade and career manager is different, so your mileage may vary.
It's not that bad. Find a good partner that's able to deal with the BS and you're all good. (and deployments...and stuff) Me, I was a base brat, and now a military wife, and soon to be reservist *knocks on wood* It's the life I've always known and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
- Reaction score
- 16,994
- Points
- 1,010
Khaalid said:
There is no easy way to answer that, given the wide variety of occupations and ranks in the CF.
Figure on moving every 2-5 years.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
i can't see myself moving form house to house though, sometimes i give it second thought because what if my wife's career is in edmonton, then we get moved, she'd have to find a new job every time. and if i got kids they'd have to switch schools every time we had to move.
why can't they allow you to stay where you want to stay?
why do you need to go live all over the country?
why can't they allow you to stay where you want to stay?
why do you need to go live all over the country?
- Reaction score
- 16,994
- Points
- 1,010
Khaalid said:
Life in the CF is probably not for you, then. Which is fine- it is not everyone's cup of tea.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 160
Well maybe good news or bad news.
The Military has been informed that moving people so often is costing alot and it would be a cost saving concept to try and restrict so much movement. However operational requirements will still dictate postings. But if you didn't want to move it could be a factor. Every career mangler is different. And your CO/CWO will have some input.
This being said I did my 20 plus and retired. As a family we moved a couple times and the kids got to experience change. not to mention a posting after I got out for my civie career.
If you look around there are some famous people who were army brats and learned to adapt. Jim Morrison was an Admirals son, not the best example.
If I had a buck for every person who says they regret not doing a basic engagement for the life experience. Or the guy that says he was signed up and didn't go because of a girl friend (95% never married that girl).
As stated you are under your parents roof and must or should be respectful and benevolent. Maybe join the local medical reserve unit and gain experience, earn some coin and lastly wean them onto the idea.
Good luck, oddly enough both my kids joined the military. One because he was always impressed with the quality of my old army buddies the stories of misadventures and to this day visits one on a regular basis near his base. Like a second family.
The Military has been informed that moving people so often is costing alot and it would be a cost saving concept to try and restrict so much movement. However operational requirements will still dictate postings. But if you didn't want to move it could be a factor. Every career mangler is different. And your CO/CWO will have some input.
This being said I did my 20 plus and retired. As a family we moved a couple times and the kids got to experience change. not to mention a posting after I got out for my civie career.
If you look around there are some famous people who were army brats and learned to adapt. Jim Morrison was an Admirals son, not the best example.
If I had a buck for every person who says they regret not doing a basic engagement for the life experience. Or the guy that says he was signed up and didn't go because of a girl friend (95% never married that girl).
As stated you are under your parents roof and must or should be respectful and benevolent. Maybe join the local medical reserve unit and gain experience, earn some coin and lastly wean them onto the idea.
Good luck, oddly enough both my kids joined the military. One because he was always impressed with the quality of my old army buddies the stories of misadventures and to this day visits one on a regular basis near his base. Like a second family.
- Reaction score
- 16,994
- Points
- 1,010
Khaalid-
Maddog made a good point that I forgot- if you wish to join the CF, but never have to move, join a Reserve unit.
Your local recruiting office can give information on units in your area.
Maddog made a good point that I forgot- if you wish to join the CF, but never have to move, join a Reserve unit.
Your local recruiting office can give information on units in your area.
Read "A Soldier First" by Retired Gen. Rick Hillier. I personally did not realize how much "moving around" actually takes place throughout ones career. Buy a house...sell it. Buy a house...sell it. Buy a house... sell it. Was a great read none the less.
- Reaction score
- 13
- Points
- 530
Khaalid said:
Are you open to enrolling before you get married or is finding a wife and starting a family a higher priority? I'm asking because you could very well enjoy what you're doing and beginning a family could be put on the back-burner anyway. For the record, I see no problem in wanting to be settled in a specific area for a long period of time and wanting to stay close to family/start a family. I'm just not clear if you had weighed your dilemma of having a wife and kids vs. feasibility of life in the CF, or simply life in the CF vs. what your parents think.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
having a family is a higher priority for me, if join the CF will make it harder, I would have to rethink my decisions. But if what they said earlier that i can join the reserves as a nurse officer and stay put in one place with my family, I could also do that as another option
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Doesn't stop you from having a family. It just means the person you pick as your partner has to be 1: Flexible 2: Sacrificing 3: can grasp the military life.
That's all. Kids are adaptable, they like meeting new friends.
That's all. Kids are adaptable, they like meeting new friends.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
That, I don't know.
I do know that it's best for you to join FIRST, then get a wife/partner/family. It's just easier for the wife to deal with if your'e already in. That, and, if your kids are born into the Military life, they won't know anything different.
It's also nice to have a career on solid footing before starting all that family stuff anyway. That way you're more able to financially support the wife/kids when they come along.
I do know that it's best for you to join FIRST, then get a wife/partner/family. It's just easier for the wife to deal with if your'e already in. That, and, if your kids are born into the Military life, they won't know anything different.
It's also nice to have a career on solid footing before starting all that family stuff anyway. That way you're more able to financially support the wife/kids when they come along.
I would argue that you don't know that, but that it's your opinion and not verifiable.Pandora114 said:
How could you possibly know what the best combination of having a family and a military career are? Plenty of people are married when they join, some even with kids, and many of them get along fine. Many more are single and start families later on.
I'm not disputing your experience or your own perception; I'm just saying that you can't possibly state that your own perception or experience constitutes fact, or something that you can know for certain, especially when dealing with something as personal as a family.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
jwtg said:
I personally think it's best for someone to have a career established and under their belt before starting a family. That's just me. Just the whole financial security thing ya know?
NavyHopeful
Member
- Reaction score
- 77
- Points
- 430
Khaalid,
Firstly, you should sit down with your parents, and discuss openly about why you would want to join the CF, and they can discuss their fears/wishes/etc. with you. There are a good number of resources to bring to the table in this discussion. The CF website (forces.ca) has some information on the trade you wish to choose, what life in the CF is like, what BMQ/BMOQ is like for new recruits, having a family in the CF, and so on, and I strongly suggest that you do as much research on the topic as you can, before sitting down with your parents to discuss it. When compiling your information, try to see their side of the argument, and have suggestions and ideas to counter those arguments. If you choose to go the path of ROTP, I know that your recruiter would have some information on your choices. I'm not an officer, so I don't have any information on the actual path that ROTP candidates take.
Secondly, once you and your parents have had a proper discussion about both the pros and the cons of both sides of the argument, you will need to make your decisions about your life for yourself. When I joined, I had the support of my wife and a few family members, but I knew that some others in my family, as well as a lot of my friends, did not think I could complete basic training. Although I had suffered a few setbacks (injuries and the like), I managed to graduate from BMQ. By that point, my friends had come around, and I had the full support of my family. they had realised that this was something that I was extremely passionate about, and that I wasn't going to give up and roll over, just because I found it slightly harder than other people have.
As a previous poster has mentioned, it may be due to a cultural reason that your parents have abstained from supporting your decision. And that's honestly ok. I CAN tell you that, for the short period of time I have in the forces, I have seen many people from different walks of life and different cultural backgrounds be welcomed into the CF with open arms. There is a lot of understanding and comraderie from everyone in the Forces regarding a thorough mix of Canadians and their mixed heritages, and that really makes me proud to be CF. And another previous poster from this or another thread had made a comment similar to "I don't care who they are, as long as they can do their job." You will see this attitude in the CF a lot. With the amount of multiculturalism that exists in Canada, the CF is essentially an example of a good cross-section of the Canadian population. I know for a fact that if you have specific religious requirements, the CF is good to try and accomodate you in these matters. Our padres are religion-specific, but are also trained to be inter-faith, so it doesn't matter if you are, for example, Roman Catholic and need to talk to a padre, the Anglican or Jewish padre can still help you. I have found that we have such a diversity and an understanding to our member's needs, that it is rare to find people falling through the cracks. Also, the CF has a no-tolerance policy when it comes to different kinds of harrassment or prejudice amongst members, and there are safeguards to prevent much of this from happening.
Lastly, whether or not you and your parents can come to an agreement or if you end up at an impasse, the only advice that I can give you is that you know what to expect, and that you know that this is something that you really want to do. If you have the passion for this career choice, and your parents see that, it may help to sway them to, at the very least, to accept your choices. Not everyone can handle being in the CF, but for the few that manage to accept the challenge, it can be a very rewarding one.
Good luck, and hope to see some encouraging updates.
Rev
Firstly, you should sit down with your parents, and discuss openly about why you would want to join the CF, and they can discuss their fears/wishes/etc. with you. There are a good number of resources to bring to the table in this discussion. The CF website (forces.ca) has some information on the trade you wish to choose, what life in the CF is like, what BMQ/BMOQ is like for new recruits, having a family in the CF, and so on, and I strongly suggest that you do as much research on the topic as you can, before sitting down with your parents to discuss it. When compiling your information, try to see their side of the argument, and have suggestions and ideas to counter those arguments. If you choose to go the path of ROTP, I know that your recruiter would have some information on your choices. I'm not an officer, so I don't have any information on the actual path that ROTP candidates take.
Secondly, once you and your parents have had a proper discussion about both the pros and the cons of both sides of the argument, you will need to make your decisions about your life for yourself. When I joined, I had the support of my wife and a few family members, but I knew that some others in my family, as well as a lot of my friends, did not think I could complete basic training. Although I had suffered a few setbacks (injuries and the like), I managed to graduate from BMQ. By that point, my friends had come around, and I had the full support of my family. they had realised that this was something that I was extremely passionate about, and that I wasn't going to give up and roll over, just because I found it slightly harder than other people have.
As a previous poster has mentioned, it may be due to a cultural reason that your parents have abstained from supporting your decision. And that's honestly ok. I CAN tell you that, for the short period of time I have in the forces, I have seen many people from different walks of life and different cultural backgrounds be welcomed into the CF with open arms. There is a lot of understanding and comraderie from everyone in the Forces regarding a thorough mix of Canadians and their mixed heritages, and that really makes me proud to be CF. And another previous poster from this or another thread had made a comment similar to "I don't care who they are, as long as they can do their job." You will see this attitude in the CF a lot. With the amount of multiculturalism that exists in Canada, the CF is essentially an example of a good cross-section of the Canadian population. I know for a fact that if you have specific religious requirements, the CF is good to try and accomodate you in these matters. Our padres are religion-specific, but are also trained to be inter-faith, so it doesn't matter if you are, for example, Roman Catholic and need to talk to a padre, the Anglican or Jewish padre can still help you. I have found that we have such a diversity and an understanding to our member's needs, that it is rare to find people falling through the cracks. Also, the CF has a no-tolerance policy when it comes to different kinds of harrassment or prejudice amongst members, and there are safeguards to prevent much of this from happening.
Lastly, whether or not you and your parents can come to an agreement or if you end up at an impasse, the only advice that I can give you is that you know what to expect, and that you know that this is something that you really want to do. If you have the passion for this career choice, and your parents see that, it may help to sway them to, at the very least, to accept your choices. Not everyone can handle being in the CF, but for the few that manage to accept the challenge, it can be a very rewarding one.
Good luck, and hope to see some encouraging updates.
Rev
