More and more funnies.. vol: something...
- Thread starter Timmy!
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You gotta admit - It's a gooder.
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So, question.
You're in a room, and with you in that room is Adolf Hitler, and a guy who won't turn off the sound to the buttons on his iPhone. You are able to kill one, and only one of them.
Here's the question:
Do you give the iPhone to Hitler, or do you keep it to yourself?
You're in a room, and with you in that room is Adolf Hitler, and a guy who won't turn off the sound to the buttons on his iPhone. You are able to kill one, and only one of them.
Here's the question:
Do you give the iPhone to Hitler, or do you keep it to yourself?
Timmy!
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SoldierInAYear
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Eye In The Sky
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An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said 'Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, 'What would you want to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know' said the atheist, 'How about why there is not God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?' as he smiled smugly.
'OK' she said. ‘Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff ~ grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?'
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says 'Hmmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?'
The little girl who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, 'What would you want to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know' said the atheist, 'How about why there is not God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?' as he smiled smugly.
'OK' she said. ‘Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff ~ grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?'
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says 'Hmmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?'
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A rewrite from atheist to theist. I like it better.
A theist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said 'Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, 'What would you want to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know' said the theist, 'How about why God exists, or Heaven or Hell, or life after death?' as he smiled smugly.
'OK' she said. ‘Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff ~ grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?'
The theist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says 'Hmmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?'
A theist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said 'Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl who had just started to read her book replied to the total stranger, 'What would you want to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know' said the theist, 'How about why God exists, or Heaven or Hell, or life after death?' as he smiled smugly.
'OK' she said. ‘Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff ~ grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?'
The theist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says 'Hmmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?'
J
jollyjacktar
Guest
Two friends were talking about gifts for their wives. One friend was rich and the other friend was poor.
Rich guy: "I gave my wife a set of diamond earrings and a Mercedes convertible for our Anniversary. "
Poor guy: "Why a set of earrings and a car?"
Rich guy: "So she could drive to the jewelery shop and change the earrings if she did not like them."
The poor guy thought that was a cool idea and said he would get two gifts like that too. He later returned from shopping and showed what he had bought. A pair of running shoes and a sex toy.
Rich guy: "What's with those choices?"
Poor guy: "If she doesn't like the shoes she can go screw herself."
Rich guy: "I gave my wife a set of diamond earrings and a Mercedes convertible for our Anniversary. "
Poor guy: "Why a set of earrings and a car?"
Rich guy: "So she could drive to the jewelery shop and change the earrings if she did not like them."
The poor guy thought that was a cool idea and said he would get two gifts like that too. He later returned from shopping and showed what he had bought. A pair of running shoes and a sex toy.
Rich guy: "What's with those choices?"
Poor guy: "If she doesn't like the shoes she can go screw herself."
Retired AF Guy
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The National Post had an article a few days ago about why most comedians are liberals and very few conservative. That resulted in a few letters to the editors, including this one from today's edition that refutes the idea that conservatives don't have a sense of humour.
J
jollyjacktar
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A foursome of men was waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of ladies were hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet.
Then she went over and missed it completely.
Then she hacked it another ten feet and finally hacked it another five feet.
She looked up at the patiently waiting men and said apologetically,
"I guess all those 'f**king lessons' I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responded, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43...
The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet.
Then she went over and missed it completely.
Then she hacked it another ten feet and finally hacked it another five feet.
She looked up at the patiently waiting men and said apologetically,
"I guess all those 'f**king lessons' I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responded, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43...
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