Married Service Couples [MSC]

[Northstar86]

Hello!
Is anyone willing to share their experiences (or even second hand stories) as a Dual Service Family? Specifically;
1. Using a long term care provider (nanny ect.) for your children while you and your spouse were deployed.
2. Is it common that both members are deployed, and if so do they try and have as little overlap as possible or is it the full deployment?
Any other info or experiences is appreciated too!
Thank you!
(I'm sorry if this has already been asked, I couldn't find anything in the search)

 

[Loachman]

Try looking for "married service couple".

 

[mariomike]

(I'm sorry if this has already been asked, I couldn't find anything in the search)

Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couples&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=JFeoWJf7JeGM8QesrZPIBQ&gws_rd=ssl#q=site:army.ca+%22service+couples%22

Service Spouse
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couples&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=JFeoWJf7JeGM8QesrZPIBQ&gws_rd=ssl#q=site:army.ca+%22service+spouse%22

 

[Northstar86]

Thank you!

 

[mariomike]

Thank you!

you are welcome. Good luck. 

 

[tech_spouse]

Hi folks,

I'm currently a spouse of a service member living OUTCAN, and I'm trying to come up with a plan so both myself and my wife can have fulfilling careers when we return. Originally when I started dating my wife she was talking about releasing and returning to the civilian world, so I never had thought that my career would be affected much by hers. But then came her promotion and the option of a OUTCAN posting, so she decided to stick it out a while longer. And now we are at the point where she no longer wants to release because of her pension (can't blame her).

Currently I'm not working (I took a sabbatical when we took the posting), and finishing my degree (I originally left school to take a full time software development job). In two years I do want to return to the working world, but we don't have any idea where she'll be posted next. It's entirely possible that she'll be posted somewhere with minimal professional options for me. As of right now I see two options (in descending order of desirability):

1) We put my career first, and try for postings in/near a select number of cities. This may require my wife turning down postings or promotions (I don't know if this is even possible).
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.

Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to. Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Right now there's no rush to solve this problem, but I'd like to have a few ideas when I talk about this with my wife. Maybe some people here have gone through this same situation and can offer some advice? I would appreciate it. Thanks.

 

[mariomike]

Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to.

If interested in becoming a Service Couple, you may find these discussions of interest,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

Forces.ca
CF member and service spouse
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/about-policies-standards-benefits-relocation/2011-2012-directive-ch10.page

Forces.ca
My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Officer career at 35 
http://army.ca/forums/threads/105928.0/nowap.html

old officer question 
http://army.ca/forums/threads/41488.0
OP: "But is 35 too old?"

How old is too old to be an Officer?
http://army.ca/forums/threads/25862.0

What age is too old to commission 
https://army.ca/forums/threads/116765.0

Am I too old to join/do well/fit in? (Merged thread)
https://army.ca/forums/threads/207.0
12 pages.

etc...

 

[daftandbarmy]

Hi folks,

I'm currently a spouse of a service member living OUTCAN, and I'm trying to come up with a plan so both myself and my wife can have fulfilling careers when we return. Originally when I started dating my wife she was talking about releasing and returning to the civilian world, so I never had thought that my career would be affected much by hers. But then came her promotion and the option of a OUTCAN posting, so she decided to stick it out a while longer. And now we are at the point where she no longer wants to release because of her pension (can't blame her).

Currently I'm not working (I took a sabbatical when we took the posting), and finishing my degree (I originally left school to take a full time software development job). In two years I do want to return to the working world, but we don't have any idea where she'll be posted next. It's entirely possible that she'll be posted somewhere with minimal professional options for me. As of right now I see two options (in descending order of desirability):

1) We put my career first, and try for postings in/near a select number of cities. This may require my wife turning down postings or promotions (I don't know if this is even possible).
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.

Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to. Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Right now there's no rush to solve this problem, but I'd like to have a few ideas when I talk about this with my wife. Maybe some people here have gone through this same situation and can offer some advice? I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Just in case you thought the grass might be greener on the CF side:  :nod:

"There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." Jack Welch
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jackwelch451360.html

 

[tech_spouse]

Just in case you thought the grass might be greener on the CF side:  :nod:

"There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." Jack Welch
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jackwelch451360.html

You are correct about that. Living apart and each of us having our own careers is probably the best situation for us, but I thought I should consider all my options.

 

[Loachman]

Another option is I join the CF

That gives you no guarantee of being posted together.

Some Married Service Couples (do a Site search for that term) get lucky with postings, and some do not - even to the point of multiple apart-postings in a row.

 

[tech_spouse]

That gives you no guarantee of being posted together.

Some Married Service Couples (do a Site search for that term) get lucky with postings, and some do not - even to the point of multiple apart-postings in a row.

I now realize that after some additional reading, thanks for the heads up. Guess crossing my fingers that my wife's next posting is somewhere where I can find work. Or I'll have to find a company that will allow me to work remotely. I've never worked remotely but it's an option with my skill set.

 

[Humphrey Bogart]

Tech_spouse,

You and your wife have reached the point every military couple eventually faces:

Do I give up my career to have a better family life or sacrifice at home to continue my service?

Things will not get any easier as your wife progresses in her career, it will only get harder.  The more senior in rank someone is, the more commitment the service expects from them.  How far are you willing to go?  Lieutenant-Colonel and above, things move very quickly and you may find yourself moving almost yearly in some cases.

I'm doing the opposite of your wife, in my 13th year of service, I'm calling it quits.  A number of reasons but work-life balance definitely is a factor in my decision. 

I don't know what service/trade your wife is part of but some Army bases are complete crap locations for spouse employment.  Live in Petawawa?  Your options are to live halfway between Ottawa and there and you both commute, elsewhere it's less promising.

PM me if you wish to discuss more.

 

[mariomike]

tech_spouse

Did you read the Forces.ca Frequently Asked Questions?

11. My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

I also posted it in Reply #1 for your information.

Also from Reply #1,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

As always,  Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

 

[garb811]

...
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.
...

I think you are referring to an "IR" (Imposed Restriction) posting?  If so, be well aware that no such beast exists for anyone coming back to Canada from OUTCAN.  Both of you, and your HG&E, will be moved to where her next posting in Canada is.  If you then decide to move to another location that will not be reflected in your family status as, according to the system, you and everything you move with you, is still considered to be where the CAF moved you to upon your return to Canada.  That means:

1)  It is totally on your own dime;
2)  You are not entitled to the few IR benefits that now remain;
3)  On her next posting, they will not move "your" stuff from wherever you have moved it to her next posting, even if you want to move;
4)  If something happens (ie. you become seriously ill) she will not be entitled to Compassionate Travel Allowance to get to your location and vice versa;
etc etc

I have watched several MP do this on returning to Canada from Embassies contrary to reams of advice and each time it didn't work out well for the member...

 

[tech_spouse]

tech_spouse

Did you read the Forces.ca Frequently Asked Questions?

11. My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

I also posted it in Reply #1 for your information.

Also from Reply #1,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

As always,  Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

Yes I did. I was already aware that being posted together might not be possible, especially if your trades take place in different environments (ie, one being a hard sea trade and the other a army combat arms trade). But thanks for the links earlier, cheers.

 

[tech_spouse]

I think you are referring to an "IR" (Imposed Restriction) posting?  If so, be well aware that no such beast exists for anyone coming back to Canada from OUTCAN.  Both of you, and your HG&E, will be moved to where her next posting in Canada is.  If you then decide to move to another location that will not be reflected in your family status as, according to the system, you and everything you move with you, is still considered to be where the CAF moved you to upon your return to Canada.  That means:

1)  It is totally on your own dime;
2)  You are not entitled to the few IR benefits that now remain;
3)  On her next posting, they will not move "your" stuff from wherever you have moved it to her next posting, even if you want to move;
4)  If something happens (ie. you become seriously ill) she will not be entitled to Compassionate Travel Allowance to get to your location and vice versa;
etc etc

I have watched several MP do this on returning to Canada from Embassies contrary to reams of advice and each time it didn't work out well for the member...

Yeah I meant to write IR, not IP, I'm going to blame auto correct for that one. But that's useful info to know. In this case it'll mean that I'll be on my own if I choose to pursue my own career after returning. I'll have to do more research about what my wife would be entitled to in this situation. Thanks.

 

[mariomike]

But thanks for the links earlier, cheers.

You are welcome. Good luck. 

Yeah I meant to write IR, not IP,

You may find this discussion of interest,

Imposed Restriction (IR) Merged Thread 
https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:b6TTPbwqdCIJ:https://army.ca/forums/index.php%3Ftopic%3D83336.25+&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ca
5 pages.

 

[Hanley613]

I am currently finishing my ql3 and will be posted out in April. My wife is on her last year of police foundations and will be soon ready to apply for a career in policing. The ql3 fpr MP is 6 months long. My question is has anyone heard of a way for her to have her family with her while she is on training across the country? We have two young daughters 1 and 3 years old. Military Police and RCMP unforunetly take 6 months to train. Here are some things I have thought of:
Will I be able to get on a CFTPO in Borden while shes on course?
Can I take a Leave of absense?
Would my unit let me save two years of leave and use it while shes on course?

Can anyone help think of any ideas or share any experiences they may have heard of?

 

[garb811]

I am currently finishing my ql3 and will be posted out in April. My wife is on her last year of police foundations and will be soon ready to apply for a career in policing. The ql3 fpr MP is 6 months long. My question is has anyone heard of a way for her to have her family with her while she is on training across the country? We have two young daughters 1 and 3 years old. Military Police and RCMP unforunetly take 6 months to train. Here are some things I have thought of:
Will I be able to get on a CFTPO in Borden while shes on course?
Can I take a Leave of absense?
Would my unit let me save two years of leave and use it while shes on course?

Can anyone help think of any ideas or share any experiences they may have heard of?

Anything is possible but...

You are unlikely to get an Attach Posting to Borden for the sole reason of being there when she is on her QL3. Even if this was the case, where would you live? She will be in quarters and you won't be entitled to move your HG&E for an Attach Posting.
You are unlikely to get LWOP for this purpose.
Your unit will not let you accumulate a year's worth of leave as that is not how the policy works.

Best bet, if you absolutely must be co-located while she is on her QL3, is for you to ask to be posted to Borden on completion of your QL3. Otherwise, being separated from your spouse and family while on course is an unfortunate aspect of military life. You and she need to sit down and have a hard talk about options outside of military accommodation on how you can make this work. Once you are both through QL3 it will become a bit easier but there are always going to be times when one of you ends up being a single parent for extended periods and you need to have a plan in place.

 

[Chanada]

Inf613...As I read your post you are presently on QL3 Inf in Meaford and your wife is taking Police Foundations but has not yet applied either to a Police Force or to join the CAF as an MP.  If her plan is to apply to a civ Police service then chances of success and timing will depend on where you go.  If her intent is to join the CAF as an MP that is a bit different and to be honest your chances may be better as two halves of a service couple with her staring here recruit/MP training once you are posted to whichever base/bn this year.  Either way on graduating DP1 (assuming you are not PPCLI) then you are headed for Petawawa or Gagetown with a battalion of your regiment - and whichever it ends up being then you are going to be there for a while. With very few exceptions that is where cpl/pte infantryman spend the first 4-7 years of their career.  If your wife joins as an MP then there is a chance that she could be posted and collocated when she completes her DP1.  The good news for you is that generally when service couples are posted together the Career Manager of the senior member picks up the cost move.  In terms of your wife's options whether civil or military police I think the career timelines you are working on for her may be a bit optimistic.  Police foundations graduates are a bit of a buyers market these days so it really depends on which forces are hiring and in both those locations (Petawawa and NB) they are smaller forces/detachments).  Using either scenario she may not receive an offer until (best case) several months after she graduates from her present programme and she might consider starting the CAF application process now to see what happens.  Good luck to you.