Landlord evicting military family shifts blame

[Munxcub]

Well despite the cost of living it's still quite popular...

My wife and I are buying a house in Kelowna and it's by no means "cheap" here. But we are making sacrifices and changing our lifestyles accordingly to make it possible. That coupled with a 40 year amortization on the mortgage makes buying a $310,000, 800 sq ft wartime house possible... Would I like a bigger house? Absolutely, but reality says I can only have a small one... so I deal.

Too many people live beyond their means and then cry when it doesn't work out, suck it up, do the math and don't expect any pitty from me. I've made the changes needed to survive, if you can't do that then I guess you won't survive.

Sorry it's just around here (Kelowna) the "Spoon feed me because the world owes me everything" attitude is so rampant that I could just scream. Personal accountability doesn't exist and I think it's bullsh*t. Pass the buck, it's easier then dealing with it yourself right?

</rant>

 

[armyvern]

Im glad several people pointed out the limited hosuing issue.  Even if you have the money, its hard to find a place to live if the limited market is driving piles of garbage up in price.

One question that hasnt been asked is: did the Corporal leave his family enough money to live on?  Even though a Corporal gets paid a good salary it doesnt do the family any good if the soldier keeps most of it with him overseas. 

(And dont tell me this doesnt happen.  I saw numerous examples of it over a 20 year period...)

I'll assume that you are retired now. We live in the world of split-allotments when overseas now...your regular pay stays home and the allowances are shifted to the overseas account to avoid exactly the situation you describe above that used to be experienced.

What have I seen lately?? A couple of troops coming home to find all their regular pay completely gone (ie not a dime saved by the spouse while they were gone), all their credit cards (and in one case 2 new credit cards that didn't exist when he was deployed) all maxed out to the limit. No new furniture, or vehicle, or clothes etc to show for it...squat.

Good thing they had all that operational money from theatre still which they then had to use to pay of the bills their ignorant spouses had managed to rack up on absolutely nothing while they were deployed. Sad.

 

[medaid]

It sounds like the CF needs to teach spouses proper money management... it is just disgusting!

 

[GAP]

I'll assume that you are retired now. We live in the world of split-allotments when overseas now...your regular pay stays home and the allowances are shifted to the overseas account to avoid exactly the situation you describe above that used to be experienced.

What have I seen lately?? A couple of troops coming home to find all their regular pay completely gone (ie not a dime saved by the spouse while they were gone), all their credit cards (and in one case 2 new credit cards that didn't exist when he was deployed) all maxed out to the limit. No new furniture, or vehicle, or clothes etc to show for it...squat.

Good thing they had all that operational money from theatre still which they then had to use to pay of the bills their ignorant spouses had managed to rack up on absolutely nothing while they were deployed. Sad.

good point....and I will bet it has occured in reverse also..

 

[Roy Harding]

It sounds like the CF needs to teach spouses proper money management... it is just disgusting!

In the mid-80's I was Rear Party, while my Regiment was in Cyprus.  A good buddy of mine knew "something was up", and contacted me - asking me to check in with his family.  (Contact was not that easy then - no email, no internet, no phone cards - we used something called CFARS (Canadian Forces Amateur Radio System) - basically a Ham radio link (look it up - it's for real)).

Well, I buzzed by his Q, and discovered it was EMPTY.  No furniture, no wife, no kids.  A further check (not by me - the grown-ups were involved by then) revealed - no bank account, no savings, no RRSP, but plenty of bills.  I contacted him (by the same CFARS system) and advised him that he should be receiving a "Dear John" fairly soon - he did.

It happens - and to be brutally honest, my buddy was no angel when it came to his familial responsibilities.  It's nothing new.

An interesting aside - my wife just called - we received a "package notification" from Canada Post in our mailbox yesterday.  As she was going into town today, I asked her to pick it up for me.  Apparently, she can't do that (despite having the same last name and address on her driver's license, health card, etcetera), without written authorization from me.  We've come a long way in protecting individuals - despite the inconvenience sometimes experienced.

For the record:  I don't think it's the CF's responsibility "to teach spouses proper money management" - our members are full grown men and women - they need to take care of themselves in these matters.


Roy

 

[the 48th regulator]

For the record:  I don't think it's the CF's responsibility "to teach spouses proper money management" - our members are full grown men and women - they need to take care of themselves in these matters.


Roy

Here here,

I agree 100%.

They may be wise to teach Members and their families what to do and not do, with regards to the media though!

dileas

tess

 

[armyvern]

It sounds like the CF needs to teach spouses proper money management... it is just disgusting!

Uh no sorry. One does not need a money management course to know better than that. Like was said earlier...there's a whole lot of "me, me, me" people out there now...and some of them happen to be married.

BTW, the one who got herself the 2 new credit cards to max out on sweet-diddly-squat while he was away...is now looking for a new spouse.

Oh...and word up, she insists HE was the bad guy in getting upset with her when "WE were making all that extra money while he was away." She's really cute too boys, and actually seems all sweet & innocent ... if one didn't know any better.

 

[M Feetham]

I don't know the Edmondon area although I have friends from there. In Halifax, most of the guys I know transit a fair bit, anywhere from 45 mins out side of town up the 1h:30mins. I am sure that if these folks were willing to look a little ways outside of the local area they should be able to find somthing. As far as the condition of the homes being sold. So what, invest in some second had tools or borrow them from a friend, pick one room at a time and fix it up yourself. I am not the greatest handyman in the world, but if I call a couple of buddies and say hey beer and pizza on me for helping with this little renovation. Usually you can get at least a medium size room dry walled and mudded in a day or less. A little personal initiative goes a long way. As well, you can go to any mortgage broker in the country and they will provide you with a free breakdown of what you can and cannot afford in housing. They will do up a debt vs income ratio for you as well. CISIP also has qualified financial cousnellors who will set you down and get a budget for you that will work very well if you stick to it. They also provide counselling for members and their spouses. There is stuff in place to help you just have to look for it  and ask for it.
Cheers. Feet

 

[Roy Harding]

Here here,

I agree 100%.

They may be wise to teach Members and their families what to do and not do, with regards to the media though!

dileas

tess

Tess - you're right - they (the CF) may be wise to do so, but I don't think it's their responsibility - nor within their (the CF's) lane.

Families are NOT subject to the same discipline and regulations as members regarding speaking to the media - it's inconvenient (and frankly, galling, at times) - but that's the way it goes.

Despite my personal pique at individual examples, I don't have a problem with it in general.



Roy

 

[Eagle_Eye_View]

Its SISIP not CISIP. 

 

[GAP]

For the record:  I don't think it's the CF's responsibility "to teach spouses proper money management" - our members are full grown men and women - they need to take care of themselves in these matters.
Roy

I think it should be offered in some form, prior to deploying....yeah, they're grownups, but.....

 

[Roy Harding]

I think it should be offered in some form, prior to deploying....yeah, they're grownups, but.....

I hear your concern, GAP - but at what point does "our" responsibility for the troops stop?

I raised three sons - all excellent men, but I no longer "bail them out" when they overextend themselves.  I commiserate, I sympathize, I emphasize, I advise - but I don't pay their bills.

To me, the CF (and any military) is in a like position to their members - the CF can HELP with your personal life, but it can't DIRECT you how to live it.


Roy

 

[camochick]

M feetham, it's easy for you to say it's easy to get a house in Edmonton because you don't live here. Sure I could buy way outside of town (it would have to be wayyyyyyyyyyy cause houses in the surrounding area's are still insanely pricey) but I would have to give up my job, because we have one vehicle and hubby and i can't afford to be driving an hour and half to Edmonton two-four times a day. Sure I could buy a dump, are you volunteering to come fix it up because right now my husband and I are both busy and don't have the time to be fixing an overpriced shack up. It's easy to tell people what they should be doing when you're not the one who has to do it.

As for money management, i managed to put a decent chunk of change away in the bank while hubby was gone, while i saw and heard people spend most of the tour money with only some new clothes and a nice entertainment center to show for it. We're all grown ups and we should all be able to manage our money. If you can't well, too bad, you make your bed, you Lay in it.

 

[GAP]

Sometimes when the issues get verbalized in a more formal setting, they tend to get greater consideration.

eg: Try telling your wife she is doing something the wrong way and see what kind of reaction you get.....now watch in amazement when your neighbor/mechanic/etc tells her essentially the same thing, and the credibility just flows.....

 

[the 48th regulator]

Tess - you're right - they (the CF) may be wise to do so, but I don't think it's their responsibility - nor within their (the CF's) lane.

Families are NOT subject to the same discipline and regulations as members regarding speaking to the media - it's inconvenient (and frankly, galling, at times) - but that's the way it goes.

Despite my personal pique at individual examples, I don't have a problem with it in general.



Roy

hehe,

I meant that as a sarcastic dig.

However, if you think about it.  She has created quite a bit of damage to the CF image.  Be it that the military does not care for the families at home, or that we have whiney spouses that expect privelages, etc etc.

I think it may do the CF some good to work on this aspect.  Loose lips sink ships...

dileas

tess

 

[armyvern]

As for money management, i managed to put a decent chunk of change away in the bank while hubby was gone, while i saw and heard people spend most of the tour money with only some new clothes and a nice entertainment center to show for it. We're all grown ups and we should all be able to manage our money. If you can't well, too bad, you make your bed, you Lay in it.

Good on you Camochick. Some people simply are more mature than others, and make wise choices with priorities in the right spots. Seems like your husband married one of them!!

I have to say, this time last year, I stood out behind clothing stores having a smoke and watched a certain Pl WO passing on the afternoon "O Group" to his personnel before dismissing them for the evening. His Pl, at that time, had his augmentees for their upcoming deployment formed up with the remainder of the Coy pers. He spent a full 10 minutes emphasizing very loudly (thus I could hear it) how not a single one of them should NOT own their own home after returning from their tour. He told them what to do, and how to go about it. At the end of it all, he flat out told them that if they returned and DID not purchase their own home with some of the cash they'd be making ... they were flat-out idiots who's priorities in life were all screwed up. I agree with him.

I have no doubt that most of his troops listened to his sage words of advice that day. It doesn't have to be formal to work. Sometimes a blunt "get a grip on reality" works just as well.

 

[medaid]

Uh no sorry. One does not need a money management course to know better than that. Like was said earlier...there's a whole lot of "me, me, me" people out there now...and some of them happen to be married.

BTW, the one who got herself the 2 new credit cards to max out on sweet-diddly-squat while he was away...is now looking for a new spouse.

Oh...and word up, she insists HE was the bad guy in getting upset with her when "WE were making all that extra money while he was away." She's really cute too boys, and actually seems all sweet & innocent ... if one didn't know any better.

Ah that was my sarcasm mode. But the whole WE thing is just AS disgusting if not MORE disgusting...  shame shame shame... the poor guy!

 

[Roy Harding]

hehe,

I meant that as a sarcastic dig.

However, if you think about it.  She has created quite a bit of damage to the CF image.  Be it that the military does not care for the families at home, or that we have whiney spouses that expect privelages, etc etc.

I think it may do the CF some good to work on this aspect.  Loose lips sink ships...

dileas

tess

Tess - I hear ya, and I do think you're right regarding the damage she's done to the CF.

BUT, I don't think the CF has a reason to muzzle her.  Hopefully, like most things military, this will fade from the MSM, and most folks will forget they even read it.

Roy

 

[Yrys]

He spent a full 10 minutes emphasizing very loudly (thus I could hear it) how not a single one of them should NOT own their own home after returning from their tour.

Good of him. If you crosse his path one day, tell him I lift my hat to him. I'm sure he was more convincing
then when I tried to give friends counsels about better management of their money....

 

[CdnArtyWife]

So you mean I'm not supposed to be spending all of hubby's tour money at candle and spice parties?? > I better cancel the sitter for tomorrow night then.  

We will have nothing left about a month after hubby gets home...but we will have lots to show for it...his student loans are paid off, as is the one and only credit card we have, we will move into a brand new house within weeks of his arrival home and we will have all new livingroom furniture, diningroom furniture and appliances.

All that and hubby actually got me a personal trainer while he was gone (his idea). And I am now going back to school...

I still managed to buy a few candles and spices too. ;D

I agree with the main sentiment of the thread...there is no need for this wifey to whine as much as she does...someone should pitty her and buy her a cheeze factory to go with the whine.

There was rumor a while back that all the AD would be amalgamated and moved to Edmonton. I'm sure the housing situation wasn't the deciding factor for kaiboshing that idea...but I bet it was a large part of it. Moving approx 500 pers and family to Edmonton would put a strain on the already rediculous housing market.

CAW