How to get family on board

[CombatDoc]

no it is fine, he was mad because he sees the clerk job as "safe" and doesn't want his itty bitty wifey all blown up  :facepalm:.

That seems like a very rational concern from someone who loves you and doesn't want you hurt.  It's easy to be blasé about the risk of injury when it seems like a remote risk and you have no real frame of reference (i.e you've never seen the real, non-Hollywood effects of blast).  This also says nothing about the physical demands of combat arms...all this to say,  best of luck in making an educated decision.

 

[bcperson]

That seems like a very rational concern from someone who loves you and doesn't want you hurt.  It's easy to be blasé about the risk of injury when it seems like a remote risk and you have no real frame of reference (i.e you've never seen the real, non-Hollywood effects of blast).  This also says nothing about the physical demands of combat arms...all this to say,  best of luck in making an educated decision.

Actually, I have spent some time near the border of southern Sudan and Kenya and have seen a bit, so I am not unaware, of how devastating combat arms can be, and as much as I appreciate the feelings of my loved ones, I think that if you believe in what you are doing is important, then sometimes you just have to make the decision to follow through despite the displeasure of your family. AND I am joining the Reserves so I am not TOO worried about getting hurt, however that is always a possibility.

 

[firepet]

I am married with 3 kids my husband can't work and we decided that me joining the army is whats best for our family. My mom doesn't think i can do it that makes me work even harder to prove that i can but what was hard was when i told my aunt she called me a bad mother for wanting to do this. That  really hurt to have her say why dd you even have kids ? I know that this is not going to be easy but in the long run its what is best for my family . Has any mothers came across this reaction when they joined ?

 

[BeyondTheNow]

I've been fortunate in that I haven't been met with much skepticism or downright unsupportive family members--At least that I'm aware of. However, I do understand what might prompt such reactions.

For me, when someone questions my ability or judgment, especially regarding my parenting and the decisions surrounding my family, it's very difficult not to become defensive. But I think reactions such as your Aunt's are based on poor knowledge of the military and what it offers. I also believe there are specific fears that some people hold regarding thoughts of combat/war and the like. While others automatically equate the Army to negative stereotypes and poor lifestyles.

Since I don't know you or the history and dynamic of the relationship between you and your Aunt, I hope you're able to explain the benefits that the military can offer and how your family situation can be improved upon. If she isn't the type who can be spoken to easily, then it may just come down to a matter of her seeing for herself the benefits and advantages that this new direction will hopefully bring to you. You can also explain to her that should you follow through with this possibility, it doesn't need to turn into a long-term career. If you try it and you find that it's not working out in the best interests of everyone, you can complete your initial term of service, which I believe is 3-5 years in most cases and release. (Someone please clarify if I'm incorrect.)

It's unfortunate to not have the support you may be needing at this time, but in the end I believe it is a decision solely between you and your husband and what you think is best for your family.

 

[Van Gogh]

Quiet funny because for me it was the complete opposite story.
As soon as I finished my university and got Canadian citizenship my dad came to my room out of nowhere and told me "u should go to the Canadian army"
I was shocked to say the list. U want to get me killed etc.... was my reaction.
Than he said that he believes that I will be a good fit in the army with my character. After doing such research and talking to recruiters now I want to be in the army more than anything atm.  He definitely knew what was good for me !!!

Been through a lengthy recruiting process already, waiting for interview and medical now for logistics officer !!!

 

[Emilio]

Quiet funny because for me it was the complete opposite story.
As soon as I finished my university and got Canadian citizenship my dad came to my room out of nowhere and told me "u should go to the Canadian army"
I was shocked to say the list. U want to get me killed etc.... was my reaction.
Than he said that he believes that I will be a good fit in the army with my character. After doing such research and talking to recruiters now I want to be in the army more than anything atm.  He definitely knew what was good for me !!!

Been through a lengthy recruiting process already, waiting for interview and medical now for logistics officer !!!

Good luck bud! But you should watch your grammar, people in the Army and this forum (including myself) are pretty anal about it.

------EDIT------

I see your first language isn't English, but try to watch the grammar anyways. 

 

[Van Gogh]

Good luck bud! But you should watch your grammar, people in the Army and this forum (including myself) are pretty anal about it.

------EDIT------

I see your first language isn't English, but try to watch the grammar anyways. 

 

[mrdavid1234]

something that did help me with bringing everyone on board ( especially my Girlfriend ) was to bring her with me to the recruiting center , so if she had any questions or whatever , if she had some issue with some part of the job , etc. etc. etc.

they would be able to answer her , and from the recruiter its always better then the hubby or wiffey

Couldn't agree more. Same thing with my girlfriend. She didn't want me AT ALL to join the army but once i brought her to the recruting center and let her talk and ask her questions to the recruiter she was alot more willing to let me go.

 

[CanadianGuy402]

Im 16. And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a good job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join. How do you think I can get them to sign the document if they say no? bring them to the armoury to talk to the recruiter im going to see on Tuesday?

 

[runormal]

Im 16. And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a goo hu d job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join. How do you think I can get them to sign the document if they say no? bring them to the armoury to talk to the recruiter im going to see on Tuesday?

Do you have any friends/family friends who are in the military? That might be a good step.  There is some good videos/links on the forces Website.

You could bring your parents into the recruiting center. I did that, my mom felt better after she asked questions. I also brought my mother aboard HMCS Montreal when they stopped in Toronto, she said she felt more comfortable after that.

Do they know how the reserve force works? In terms commitment? Its only a day a week, weekend every month.

 

[dcs]

It is unfortunate that your parents feel the way that they do.  The life skills and experience that is gained through the experience, even if you do nothing more and are in for only a few years, is exceptional.  I have two sons in the military, and both would not change it for the world. Their parents would not either.

There seems to be very little or no mid-ground when people are told.  Most are very pleased and outspoken about what a great opportunity it will be for them. A small percentage are of the " how could you possibly let your son join the military".  About half of these change their opinion when we discuss the training and opportunities that they are receiving..... But. there remain a small number that still cannot believe that we would have allowed such a thing.  I truly hope that your parents are not in this group.

Even if we would have refused to sign the form, what do you think my sons would have thought of their parents going forward?  In a year they would I am sure signed on their own and always felt negatively about the fact that we did not do so. (Or lost the opportunity by us doing so)

I also think that too many individuals get their impression from movies particularly American movies and TV shows. Do these people believe everything they watch? 

If you are anywhere near a base or military personnel, I would try to talk to some of them.  I have found that they are more than willing to answer any question in regards to personal experiences.  My youngest son is at RMC and right in the middle of exams so not a good time if you wanted to speak to him, but perhaps the week after if that helps.  Oldest son has just been posted to Moose Jaw and arrives there on Wednesday, so he might be able to speak to you the following week as well. They are  both home for Christmas and we are in the GTA if that helps as well.  I know they are going to be very busy with family and friends, but I am sure could find a few minutes to speak to you if you felt it would help.

Definitely not a job for people who cannot find anything else.  In fact few that apply are able to meet the requirements.  Good luck and hopefully they will have a change of mind. 

 

 

[mariomike]

And I wish to join the Reserves, however my parents seem to think (for the most part) that the military is for people who cant get a good job anywhere else. The reserves are not the main force, but they still might think it would be bad for me to join. 

It may help to show them this.

Part Time:
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/careeroptions-123#PartTime-2

 

[CanadianGuy402]

It may help to show them this.

Part Time:
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/careeroptions-123#PartTime-2

I doubt they know about that. I knew about it a while before the recruiters even showed up. They just clarified exactly how it works. I'm just assuming they might think that I'll be shipped off somewhere. Last time reservists were forced to fight we were against the Nazis. Ill be joining anyways after high school. If they don't sign they are just delaying it a few years. Bringing them to the recruiter is probably the best idea. I could always schedule another meeting later so that they can talk to him.

The jobs I would be applying for are likely what might scare them. Infantry Soldier and Combat Engineer are my top 2. And the unit is hiring for them both.

 

[roughneckrico]

Are there any suggestions on what I can say to my parents to persuade them to let me join the reserves? The main problem is that they think I am going to be called to war as soon as i join up.

Help? Please?!

Based on my knowledge of the forces/DND, it is a small fraction of enrolled members that actually go and fight in wars. A great deal of the work being done as a forces member is in support to the warrior or base operations (logistics, maintenance/repair, administration, medical, construction, food services). You can potentially have an entire career in the military and retire without ever having fought in a war. Bottom line its a job, a job like no other, but a job nonetheless.

On the other hand, I can understand that your parents probably would like for you to see other options out there. I went to college did my degrees and then decided I wanted to join after having worked for a few years. The army is always gonna be there, should you wish to join later. In the mean time, it can't hurt to go and experience other things while your young.

The way I see it, its a choice. If you wait you are postponing your career progression in the forces. If you join and realize its not for you, then you postponed your personal career elsewhere.

If your parents aren't sure and want you to do something else, maybe doing the reserves part time and pursuing other options as well, is an option that you can both live with.

Whether you join the forces or not, family is very important, it keeps you grounded. Having family support in my opinion should be a requirement for joining the forces.

My 2 cents.

 

[CanadianGuy402]

Good news! After I showed that i'm not getting deployed as soon as I sign up, And explaining why I want to join (Plus showing how it is a good PT job) They will sign the application for the Reserves! I have an appointment with my recruiter on the 7th. Hopefully my application gets processed quickly and I can take my CFAT and Medical!

 

[ajp]

Family matters.  My dad was thrilled when I joined.  My mom supported my decision.  My godmother was appalled.  You can't please everyone.  You have to please yourself.  ....folk song potential.  But really, make a moral decision.  Grab your self hard and decide. 

 

[sunsetpurple]

First of all.. Maybe the question sounds like I am asking people to make a decision for me, but I am not. J just want people who had a similar experience to help me out. 

I am 18 now. i have been thinking about joining when I was 16, but I was not a Canadian citizen at the time. I just became one recently. When I look at my life so far I feel like I have never accomplished anything, I am a big quitter. I graduated high school with honors. I quit university after two months despite doing so well in my classes, but I have felt like I am wasting time, so I applied for a different program. So I took two retail part time jobs and paid off the debts that were accumulated in those two months (about 4K).

I always admired army officers fighting and defending their country, I always loved helping out people and it gives me a great feeling, however now I will be a nameless fighter, which is okay with me. My parents were welcoming to the idea for the fact that my education is paid, back when I brought it up when I was 16, they didn't think I was serious. Even my dad served in his country's army because it was mandatory, so he told me a lot of interesting stories.

I feel like I am very serious about this, but my family probably won't give me support starting with reasons like how I am a girl. I want to take on a side role, be a technician or part of a medical team.
Any advice?

 

[matthew1786]

First of all.. Maybe the question sounds like I am asking people to make a decision for me, but I am not. J just want people who had a similar experience to help me out. 

I am 18 now. i have been thinking about joining when I was 16, but I was not a Canadian citizen at the time. I just became one recently. When I look at my life so far I feel like I have never accomplished anything, I am a big quitter. I graduated high school with honors. I quit university after two months despite doing so well in my classes, but I have felt like I am wasting time, so I applied for a different program. So I took two retail part time jobs and paid off the debts that were accumulated in those two months (about 4K).

I always admired army officers fighting and defending their country, I always loved helping out people and it gives me a great feeling, however now I will be a nameless fighter, which is okay with me. My parents were welcoming to the idea for the fact that my education is paid, back when I brought it up when I was 16, they didn't think I was serious. Even my dad served in his country's army because it was mandatory, so he told me a lot of interesting stories.

I feel like I am very serious about this, but my family probably won't give me support starting with reasons like how I am a girl. I want to take on a side role, be a technician or part of a medical team.
Any advice?

You aren't a big quitter don't beat yourself up like that! I left University for three years and decided after that time to go back, now I will graduate from University when I am 28 years old! If you want to become an officer in the Canadian Forces and have an amazing career, now is the best time to apply! You tried one program at University and decided it wasn't for you, that is a good thing. No time wasted there! Think about it more this time and try another program!

Now that you're a Canadian citizen you have nothing to hold you back. If money is a problem in order to finance your education, the forces will pay for your University degree and at the same time give you a salary while going to school.

As for which kind of job you will like to have in the forces, go on the website forces.ca and have a look at all the occupations. You will find a ton of useful information on the website. The best part is that if you fall in love with a job that you see and get a lot of information about, you can apply for a degree at the Royal Military College that will directly apply to the job you want! Good luck!

PS. Welcome to the forums! 

 

[Kamikaze1655]

On a side note here, I just have a question regarding joining the reserves at 16. I am currently 15 with  a couple of months left until I finish Grade 10. Can I start my application process now and as soon as I complete Grade 10 I can just training?

Much appreciated.

 

[raoufhakam]

it was quite funny and kind of complete opposites of my parents reaction (i didn't tell them until i actually submitted my application for Reserve), actually my brother found out (when he found the recruitment forms on my desk) and brought it up to my parents at dinner:
my mom: you gonna get yourself killed?  :facepalm:
my dad: i you're not willing to die for this country, you don't deserve to be Canadian (i come from immigrant family)