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God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Here is how Charles Company kept Christmas according to our friend Christie Blatchford in today’s (26 Dec 06) Globe and Mail.

Reproduced under the Fair Dealings provisions of the Copyright Act, with my edit to correct a typo:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20061226.wblatch25/BNStory/International/home
Dark humour on a grim holiday

CHRISTIE BLATCHFORD
Globe and Mail Update

FORWARD OPERATING BASE ZETTELMEYER, AFGHANISTAN — The rain began late on Christmas Eve.

It was our midnight mass — that and the sound of flares and the occasional burp of machine-gun fire and the claps of thunder and the roar of light armoured vehicles and the crunch of machine and boots on gravel, all of it melding into the low ominous rumble that forms the elevator music of this spooky place.

The soldiers of Charles Company Combat Team, 1st Battalion Tthe sic Royal Canadian Regiment, got some extra shut-eye, with reveille at 8 on Christmas morning not the usual 5:45 or 6. And then they were up for the normal standing-around period, or one of them, which make up the grunt's life when all is quiet.

Next thing, a couple of vehicles went the few kilometres up to Ma'sum Ghar, the next little Canadian base south of here and just down the Panjwai Valley, to fetch the Christmas meals.

Sergeant-Major John Barnes gathered the boys around then, in the centre of the gravel that, with a row of HESCO bunkers and a few Sea Can trailers and some tents, is this little base, nothing more.

"Make sure you know where your kit [flak jacket and helmet] is," he said, "in case we start taking incoming rounds."

The 40-year-old Officer Commanding of Charles Company, Major Matthew Sprague, had a few words. He's not one for speeches, but managed to be profound and revealing despite himself, as often he is.

"I fucking hate Christmas," Major Sprague said. "But I can think of no better spot for Charles Company to have Christmas than here, right on the ground where this thing all started about four months ago. This place I think will always have special meaning, for a lot of reasons, not necessarily all good reasons.

"No group of people in the entire fucking Canadian Forces more deserves this than you do.

"When you guys look in the mirror, be proud of what you've done, of what you've become. You're the fucking best, and that's the way it is.

"Padre, grace."

From profane to sacred in an instant is the soldier's way, and without missing a beat, Padre Guy Chapdelaine said a few words, and the grub — turkey, mashed potatoes, veggies and all the chips and cookies a soldier could want — was on.

This is ground zero for Charles Company, where their hairy, shoot-'em-up tour of southern Afghanistan began, and where their fallen fell. Virtually every place that is hallowed to them — the notorious so-called White School; the dun-coloured fields that in summer were green and lush with marijuana plants three metres tall and that they crossed as they closed in on the school; the big ditch where one LAV got stuck and the men inside found themselves surrounded by Taliban; the place where the Zettelmeyer, an armoured version of a bulldozer, was attacked and is now buried beneath the ground — are all here, or within a few hundred meters.

The company was barely on the ground in Afghanistan late last August when, leaving Patrol Base Wilson about five kilometres north, a convoy made the sharp left turn onto the highway and into a rocket propelled grenade that signalled the start of an ambush that lasted five full kilometres and 45 minutes.

"It was terrifying," Sgt.-Major Barnes, who was in the back of the OC's LAV, says. "It really was. You had no control. I felt things hitting the vehicle, but even more importantly hitting the road, and you felt the vehicle rock, and you were waiting for that one that went through the LAV."

Sept. 3, about 6 a.m., Charles Company crossed the Arghandab River, toward the White School, and found themselves in a fierce gun battle that lasted a good five hours, taking two casualties — the first, Warrant Officer Rick Nolan, up at the front in a G-Wagon, the second Sergeant Shane Stachnik of the 2nd Combat Engineer Regiment at Petawawa, Ont., killed when his LAV was hit by an .82 mm recoilless rifle.

Sgt.-Major Barnes was the one to pull Sgt. Stachnik's body out of the vehicle to safety. "It wasn't real at first," he says. "It didn't really affect me at first. Then a minute or two later, I walked around the vehicle and threw up."

It was the crew of Master-Corporal Sean Neifer's LAV who got WO Nolan into their vehicle, but as they headed for the breach that would buy them a measure of safety, the LAV ended up in a ditch instead, stuck, its wheels spinning. They could hear, see, smell Taliban all around them; the vehicle was hit twice by RPGs already and they knew it was just a matter of time before something would penetrate the hull, and they would all die. The order to abandon boat came then, breaking Corporal Drew Berthiaume's heart because he couldn't bear the thought of leaving WO Nolan behind, whom he would have followed anywhere, even for a minute.

They were trying to lower the rear ramp on the LAV when the third RPG struck it squarely; because of the vehicle's position in the ditch, the ramp would open only 15 centimetres, saving them all.

They left through the small emergency door in the ramp, rolling into the ditch, then running 100 metres on open ground under fire to a makeshift casualty collection point, then finally to another, set up between a mound of earth and the Zettelmeyer that was parked there — or rather, right here, where now the Christmas dinner was being served.

They were all there, breathing hard, starting to shake the way you do after, when another .82 mm. round came in, killing Warrant Officer Frank Mellish, who had come over when he heard his friend WO Nolan had been killed, and Private Will Cushley, a dear gangly boy of 21 from Port Lambton, Ont.

M-Cpl. Neifer, 28, was standing between them, unscathed, when they fell.

The next day, Sept. 4, they were getting ready to head back to the White School for round two, standing around all sleepy, when an American A-10 airplane mistakenly strafed the company, killing Private Mark Graham and wounding 38 others.

By October, Charles was patched up, Sgt.-Major Barnes and the OC, both of whom had been wounded — Major Sprague seriously and healing in Canada for about seven weeks — back at the helm. They were based then at Strong Point Centre, a reinforced position, and heading across the road to Strong Point West for almost daily gun battles.

Sgt.-Major Barnes would no sooner suggest an early lunch when, as if on cue, the fighting would start. The A-10s would be overhead, bullets and RPGs filling the air, and the Sergeant-Major would be on the radio, reading aloud from a pornographic magazine to keep the boys amused.

This is Charles Company's world — death, loss, pain, black humour to get them through it.

So this was Christmas, 2006: They ate their dinner under tarps in a cold rain, lined up to call or e-mail home, played video games and cards, said prayers and swore, watched the mists roll in and hide the mountains.

As Major Sprague says, "I don't think anyone really feels anything about anything to be honest. Walls are up, everywhere, emotional barriers are up." Perhaps in the spring, when Charles Company is home, they will fall.
 
One more Christmas story, this one from comedian Rick Mercer reproduced under the Fair Dealings provisions of the Copyright Act from  today’s (28 Dec 06) Globe and Mail:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20061228.wxcomercer28/BNStory/Front/home# 
Christmas in flak jackets
From a showbiz perspective, General Hillier is a tough act to follow, says RICK MERCER

RICK MERCER
From Thursday's Globe and Mail

A few months ago, General Rick Hillier promised me a Christmas I would never forget; turns out he is a man of his word.

This year, on Christmas morning, I was in Sperwan Ghar in the Panjwai district of Afghanistan sitting around a single-burner Coleman stove with a dozen Canadian soldiers. Rush was on the stereo and we were watching a pot of Tetley tea bags threaten to boil. Outside it was wet and muddy, but inside the sandbag bunker where these Royal Canadian Dragoons ate and slept it was warm and as comfortable as one could expect under the circumstances. Corporal Frank Farrell was in charge of the pot and there was no top on it this morning -- this was not to be rushed.

Gen. Hillier is a very persuasive man. He is also a Newfoundlander. And while he is the chief of the Canadian Forces it has been suggested that he might think he is the chief of all Newfoundlanders. He'll call you up and suggest to you that on Dec. 25 there is only one place you should be and it's so special that by agreeing to go there you render your life insurance null and void. You aren't asked so much as you are told.

This was my third trip to Afghanistan but my first at Christmas. Gen. Hillier was on a personal mission to shake hands with every man and woman wearing a Canadian uniform in Afghanistan and the Persian Gulf and I was along for the ride. The way he described it was simple: "It's Christmas" he said, "and all we are going to do is pop in and say hello to a few folks." In Canada "popping in to say hello" at Christmas is just a matter of arranging for a designated driver or making sure you have cab fare in your pocket. This was a little more complicated.

It started with a nine-hour flight overseas, stopping in Croatia for gas, and then onward to a military base that dare not speak its name or reveal its location. Once there, we immediately boarded a Sea King helicopter for a night flight across the water so we could land on the deck of the HMCS Ottawa.

On this leg of the trip there were three other Newfoundlanders -- broadcaster Max Keeping, singer-songwriter Damhnait Doyle and my old colleague Mary Walsh -- and three members of the Conservative caucus -- whip Jay Hill, MP Laurie Hawn and President of the Treasury Board John Baird. I was happy they were issued flak jackets and helmets because I had a sneaking suspicion that the combination of Walsh and the three Tories might make some recent skirmishes with the Taliban insurgency seem tame in comparison. If it came down to a three-on-one donnybrook, my money was on the Warrior Princess.

And so, on the night before Christmas Eve, our little gang of Newfoundlanders along with 50 or so sailors closed the mess on the HMCS Ottawa. We laughed until we were stupid. It felt like Christmas. After sunrise, Gen. Hillier addressed the troops on the deck of the ship. This was the first of countless speeches he would give over the next four days. He is funny as hell and inspiring as anyone I have ever seen speak. He makes soldiers laugh and then he makes them cry. He thanks them all in a way that makes everyone grow inches. From a show business perspective, he is a tough act to follow, but follow we did. When it came Damhnait's turn to say a few words she sang a song, and if there is a better way to kick off an adventure than watching Damhnait Doyle and 250 sailors sing O Canada on the deck of a Canadian warship as it sails the Gulf I can't think of it.

After HMCS Ottawa, it was straight back to the base for a three-hour nap before a 3 a.m. wakeup call for the flight to Kandahar. Once in Kandahar, we had the standard briefing that is mandatory for visiting entertainers and or the head-injured. When the siren goes, do what you're told, when everything seems fine do what you're told and, when in doubt, do what you're told.

From there we went "over the wire." It was Christmas Eve and Gen. Hillier wanted to make it to all the forward operating bases. These bases are all former Taliban strongholds. For the most part they are high points of land that were hard-fought-for. Some of the bases are nothing but points of land with soldiers living in tents, trenches and bunkers. This is the front line of a war.

Charlie Company at Patrol Base Wilson was the first group we spoke to. These are the men and women who are working under maximum threat levels in Afghanistan. They are out there on patrol every day, for days at a time, engaging the enemy. They have all lost friends here. They have a bit of the 10,000-mile stare -- which is to be expected -- so from the point of view of a guy who stands around and tells jokes for a living, this is what you would call a tough crowd. Gen. Hillier was right, though; he told me that just showing up was enough and everything else was gravy.

That afternoon we made our way by convoy to Strong Point West, home to Bravo Company. This was still Christmas Eve and we arrived in time to help serve their Christmas meal. Gen. Hillier worked the turkey, senior officers worked the potatoes and vegetables and I pulled up the rear as chief gravy server. I must admit I felt pretty darn important serving the gravy. These guys get a cooked meal about every three to four days. For the most part they eat rations out of a bag wherever they find themselves. Plus they get shot at. Anything hot with gravy is a very, very big deal. As the guy with the gravy ladle I was probably -- for the duration of the serving line -- the most popular man on Earth.

And so this year for Christmas dinner I sat on the ground in the dust and ate turkey loaf and gravy on a paper plate. Everyone except me had a gun. There was lots of talk of home and, like anyone's Christmas dinner, there were lots of pictures. At one point, the designated photographers had 10 digital cameras in their hands at a time trying to get the group shots.

Everywhere you go in Afghanistan where there are Canadian soldiers you see Christmas cards and letters supporting the troops. Some of the tents and accommodations are decorated with so many home-made cards from schoolkids that you would swear you had wandered into an elementary-school lunchroom and not a mess hall. It's amazing to see groups of battle-weary soldiers wrapped in ammunition and guns stopping to read these things with the attention that is usually reserved solely for the parent. I was in a tent with two guys in their early 20s who were poring over a stack of letters and class photos and separating them into piles. I was a little taken aback that these young guys, in the middle of a war zone, would be so moved by support from Grade 4 classes until I realized the deciding factor for the favourites pile was which teacher was hotter.

On Christmas morning, the convoy headed to Sperwan Ghar. The troops here sleep in dugouts with sandbag perimeters. After the speeches and hellos, a corporal asked me back to his quarters for a cup of tea. He was, like so many guys here, a Newfoundlander. And so that's where I spent Christmas morning, watching corporal Frank Farrell stir the teapot while a dozen or so guys hung out and exchanged cards and had a few laughs.

The crowd in the bunker wasn't there just for the tea. They had been waiting a long time for Corporal Farrell to open the Eversweet margarine tub that he received a few weeks ago in the mail. In the tub was his mom's Christmas cake. When the tea was perfect and our paper cups were filled, the tape was pulled from the tub and we all agreed: Bernadette Farrell makes the best Christmas cake in Canada.

The trip carried on. We visited more forward operating bases. Gen. Hillier made good on his goal of shaking hands with practically ever soldier in harm's way this Christmas. And by late afternoon we took the convoy back through "ambush ally" to the main base in Kandahar for the prime show of the tour for about 800 soldiers in the newly opened Canada House.

Max Keeping was our master of ceremonies, Gen. Hillier gave a speech of a lifetime, Mary Walsh made me laugh like the old days, Damhnait Doyle sang like an angel and the Montreal rock band Jonas played late into the night. I was supposed to take the microphone for 15 minutes, but I stayed for 25. A tad selfish, but honestly I can't imagine I will have so much fun performing ever again.

Everywhere we went on this trip men and women in uniform thanked our little gang for giving up our Christmas to be with them in Afghanistan. I know that I speak for everyone when I say we gave very little and we received far too much. We met great friends, we had lots of laughs and dare I say had the best Christmas ever.

Rick Mercer is host of The Rick Mercer Report on CBC-TV.

 
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