Any Good Combat Engineer Stories(Funny Stories) everyone put on there helmets

[SprCForr]

C'mon...explain the stories properly!

Inside stories suck for the rest of us!     ...like the time we did that thing in Tp Stores...and then we did that other thing...you know the one...hyulk hyulk...ha ha ha

Make the effort you guys! You can do it!  

 

[cantley091]

Now i can remember some kick ass weekend Parties that started at P-109.I can also remember the furniture going missing over an entire summer.Someone wanted to have a bonefire outback.Vehicles parked all over the lawn and an assortment of tunes screaching out.Not even the mp's would come over and stop it.I can still remember Mangie blaming the Herbies and then the mp's would go over there.Fireworks going off,Texas mickie bottles all over and an assortment of wentches coming over(Penny my buddie James M weekend babe!) ;DJust to think...what we could have done withh all those empty bottles instead of smashing them on the rear of the shacks!! ;D

 

[downinOZ]

When CFSME moved to Gagtown, RETS moved from the Vedder floodplain to mosquito central out by the water tower.  All around tent city was/is a beautiful coniferous forest where lots of extra-curricular activities could take place.  I can't really remember how I got in trouble in the first place, but my partner and I were confined to base for the weekend.

As EVERYONE knows, there is still a bar ON base, which we thought would do just fine.  So while everyone else was out on weekend leave, the two of us put on our best threads and walked down to the Canex.  As the troop WO drove by with a slight look of shock on his face, we smiled really big and waved, and of course proceeded to have a great weekend anyhow.

Trouble began when we were both bridge commanders building NSB's outside the officers mess, and were hauled off the bridge site into the office.  "I KNOW I said confined to base..."  Our thinking was confined to base meant no Sweetwater, whereas his version was confined to tent lines.  Anyhow, confined to tentlines for the remainder of course, extra duties, ya ya ya.

Those newfies - nothing separates them from beer and poutine.  They showed us how to get the cabbie to bring beer TO us!  To keep ourselves occupied, I decided to do a project.  We 'borrowed' a log from RAWA used for borehole drilling, and put it in the forest, and proceeded to engineer it up a bit with flag colours and CHIMO in each colour section.  One case of beer, one coat of paint, every night for a week.  I sent a shopping list out with the others and got everybody ready for the last night. 

Course party night - after the "out of the goodness of my heart" speech (plus cleaning shitters for three weekends straight) we rock up, have a bit of fun, then take all the candidates back to tent lines.  We put the block and tackle lectures, the knots and lashings lectures, and the swiss seat lectures, plus all the push-ups lectures to good use that night.  I climbed up the tower, shimmied across the girder to one of the outside support columns, rigged up a pulley, and sent it back down to the boys.  After lots of tugging, we raised it so that the log was in the middle of the diamond formed by the braces, and tied it off.  I really don't know what happened next for sure as we all caught taxis at 3 or 4 in the morning and went back across the country, but I was told it stayed there for a few days, until heavy equipment came down from Quebec and pulled it down.  It was by the abolutions block 3 years later though.

 

[Spr.Earl]

Jack Dunster,kat knew him and many others in 3 Fd./1 CER did.
Old timers here as I forget the year.

It was the old Wain.Con when the Reg. did a road move from the Wack to our fave camp ground.
This one year we dug a full trench system between the defensive postions with all the required defensive fencing.
Each section got 1 or 2 Anti Tank Mines to remotely set off.

Well all went,no miss fires on tear down of the defensive postion we had to fill in the mini-craters the mines left and I was one of those chosen along with Jack and Chummly.

I filled in mine and went to help Jack :
Here he was years ahead of our modern ecology we have today,filling the mini crater and sprinkling flower seeds on it and then marking it what seeds he planted just like Mum.

P.S. Any one remember when Chummly got Jack C.B'd?

 

[Kat Stevens]

GOC's parade.  Bde Comd stops to talk to Jack, and asks why Chumley wasn't on parade. Jack got promoted to Cpl, and Harry P (Tp WO) had a promotion message done up making Chumley a MCpl the same day...

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[Spr.Earl]

GOC's parade.   Bde Comd stops to talk to Jack, and asks why Chumley wasn't on parade. Jack got promoted to Cpl, and Harry P (Tp WO) had a promotion message done up making Chumley a MCpl the same day...

CHIMO,   Kat

That's when Jack chucked chummly's kit out the window!
I was on a class B and was coming back from the Mess Hall and saw Jack leaning out the window of his room and Chummly's kit was all over the lawn when I asked him "what's up Jack?"
"Chummly got promoted,fuck him!!"

 

[Spr.Earl]

Kat,you remember Ryan?
The Wain.Con when he was sent off to D.B.?

Well any way Ryan was from the Rock and on the road move back he and Jack co drove the P.O.L. Truck.

Some how they side swiped the inner wall  of the Canyon and f'd up the deuce.Well Ryan didn't give a shit and he just stopped the next vehicle in the road move and jumped aboard leaving Jack there all alone,I still remeber that piucture as we drove past.
Jack on his todd and the deuce in the wall.

Well Ryan made it back and was punted in a week.

 

[Spr.Earl]

Every one has seen the painting called "American Gothic" yes?
It's that painting with Pa with his pitch fork in his left hand and Ma standing beside him and the old home stead in the back ground.

Well I was Gordie Day's driver in Bosnia.
This one day in the spring we had to truck up to V.K.,those who have been there know what the roads are like.

Well we were making good time until all  came to a halt,bloody bah lambs on the road  as we inched forward we passed this very young Bosnian Muslim Couple,she wearing the royal purple pantaloons as married women do,the husband had his pole for proping up the plum tree's (Slip in the Ditch  )

As we passed I just blurted out "Bosnian Gothic",that was it we both broke out laffing were I had to pull over till we stopped laffing!!!
I wish I had a picture!!

You had to be there!!

Yup,Gord and I had many a laff over there.

 

[cantley091]

Sometime during the mid 90's 23 field Squadron of 2 Cer was deployed to Gagetown for the exercise to rescue the UN troops in Bosnia.Ex Venom Strike?)After a day of creating a bunker system the squadron went to ground.Low and behold the area of our harbour was inhabitant by the local balck bear.Mcpl.Monty Paisley awoke to a black bear looking at him from above the carrier and he thought it was a a troop and told him to screw off and the bear took off and fell into the cam net.Also after hearing a bear outside the recce tent,yours truely with the guidence of Mcpl.Mark Beauregard tossed a t-flash outside the tent door scaring the bear towards the carrier were he helped himself to a box of detcord and then awoke Sgt.who then rolled of the bench and fired up the carrier to scare him off.Through out the night numerous sit reps were reported about the bears who were in the troop harbour.T-Flashes going off,blanks being fired and yelling. :warstory:

 

[aesop081]

Sometime during the mid 90's 23 field Squadron of 2 Cer was deployed to Gagetown for the exercise to rescue the UN troops in Bosnia.Ex Venom Strike?)After a day of creating a bunker system the squadron went to ground.Low and behold the area of our harbour was inhabitant by the local balck bear.Mcpl.Monty Paisley awoke to a black bear looking at him from above the carrier and he thought it was a a troop and told him to screw off and the bear took off and fell into the cam net.Also after hearing a bear outside the recce tent,yours truely with the guidence of Mcpl.Mark Beauregard tossed a t-flash outside the tent door scaring the bear towards the carrier were he helped himself to a box of detcord and then awoke Sgt.who then rolled of the bench and fired up the carrier to scare him off.Through out the night numerous sit reps were reported about the bears who were in the troop harbour.T-Flashes going off,blanks being fired and yelling. :warstory:

Shit, i remember that night.   Me and JP were on sentry and got chassed down the in-route by one of those bears.   We heard the carrier spark up and your t-flash going off.   The funniest thing was the look on said Sgt still in his fart sack , finger on the start switch   ;D  Didnt you light that t-flash before opening the tent ?

 

[Mineguy]

Yeah yeah cantley...this was when the bear mom and cub was roaming the harbour and benson and drolet while laying sigs wire when we pulled in the harbour at midnight ....startled the bear which aparently jumped upwards and snarled, but rod and drolet were so tired they just continued and rod said somthing like "shut up!!!" to the bear as they were hoping to get this done and to ground. This was where the 2-4 shift when being woken up by the earlier shift were asleep in their hooches with bayonets fixed "in" the hooch and the guy waking the next guy felt a bayonet in the gut as he leaned in to shake the feet,lol ....also the notorious underground "another erection bunker"....and the "tell that to the serbs" speech" :warstory:.....remember the fire extinguisher explosion inside williamsons truck , the bent up rucksack or the frequent RSM visits to Gagetown to the bar?...that was a good one that ex....2 tp "more ****!!!!"  .....ahhh cant forget paiselys chase nd sandbourne coffee and the choclait coated coffee beans we had to endure from beloew,lol.....and of course being stuck inside my sleeping bag with 2 minutes to pull out (when me and benson naively decided to try and completely dress inside our bags just for the hell of it on a bde roadmove bugout....paisley didnt like that one ) :warstory:....we had a good tp though 8)

 

[aesop081]

Here we all are gents......

 

[cantley091]

BUDAPEST HUNGARY.Should i say anymore?Well it all started with 24 Field Sqn we were all deployed with IFOR in Bosnia and we were all granted a 72 hour leave in Budapest. ;D.BIG mistake sending the troops there.Anyways after being told not to drink on the bus(Who us?)we arrived at our home.Hotel Volga.Well it was a gong show off the bat.After arriving in only P.T strip it was off shopping(it was more like drinking.)Well you name it we had it.Hookers :blottoCorky like them allot)And it all started with all kinds of stuff being pitched off the balcony's.Chairs,toilet brushes(Benson,Rothenburg)i think there was also a local girl being threatened to be tossed off.Cabbage cheese burgers and paying with Canadian tire money in the hotel bar.Good ole R.B tried playing the grand piano inside and was booted off by the player himself,some stupid juggler who had his balls swatted away in mid air by J.M Corky,and then a mime doing some stupid show who was booed off stage to the chants of "we want women!"Then all the talented ladies showed up and well you guess it. .The return to velika Kaldusa was something else after we were ratted out.the Volga inquiry commenced.Somewhere in the range of 10 thousand dollars damage is what i heard.Could have been hire or lower.But god it was fun with alot of memories.Mangie throwing up in the baggage compartment of the bus,J.M emptying his room onto the road below him,lots of booze,and oh ya the Padre having his bar fridge emptied and the bills :blotto: on the porn  :blotto:channels.If anyone else can remember anything drop us a line!! >

 

[Mineguy]

Mike....remember the room with the porn channel which was left on continuous watch adding up the flipflops alll weekend, the hair gel and the girl.....i.e girl who could only sit and say Jason, jason....and of course the SMEAR across the TV screen in a certain room? 8)

I passed through the area short time before sfor when i was there in 2001 and our 2 Troop was stilll spraypainted on all the hesco. :warstory:

 

[cantley091]

I remember that the only words the local fancy ladies could say was"No groupy sex,no poopy sex,100 deutchmark good sex!

 

[cantley091]

there was this ongoing war between the 3 of us.Mainville,Kettlewell and myself.I couldn't find this smell in my room and eventually i found an open tin of sardines behind my tv.So then i moved one of their bed's completely made into the hallway,in return they turned my vehicle sideway's(it was a tracker),then i took all the garbage can's i could find in p-109 and put them all in their room stacked up.you should have heard Kettlewell yelling! And in return these 2 character's climbed through my window emptied my entire room into the washroom.so when i walked in there was James McDonald sitting on my couch having a beer from my beer fridge watching people taking a leek.It all stopped there.How do you beat that!! ;D

 

[big_johnson1]

Every morning doing the commute from Camp Isfeld to DK in Kosovo, we'd pass the recce guys in the coyotes going out from DK for patrols, and every morning they had one CC (who was a real prick although I can't remember why anymore) who would sit up in the hatch looking all high and mighty with his coffee held in front of him. Anyone who's been overseas knows how narrow the roads are, us in an ML (how many HL/ML side mirrors were smashed on that tour??), until one morning we gave the ML just a slight swerve into the opposite lane to avoid some kid, when the coyote driver slammed the brakes on (thinking we wanted to play chicken or something), the CC flew forward in his hatch, then flew back, coffee all down the front of his shirt..

Or the look on Jonesy's face on gate duty the morning after the "wine tasting" night..

 

[JackD]

Holy Smokes! It's nice to be remember after 22 years or so... Chumely is with me here in Poland. Way back in the 70's-80's there were alot of characters about in the Engineers SSm Sandland for instance, Harry Poile, Kenny Austin to name a few - anything like those around these days?

 

[Kat Stevens]

Wow! Rumour confirmed, Jack and Chumley are still alive!  Is it the Rt. Hon Ambassador Chumley by now then, Jack?  You probably won't remember me, I was one of those irritating little TQ2's that showed up in 1 Tp just in time for Waincon '80. How did the topo survey gig end up for you?  Great to hear from you, Jack...

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[JackD]

Well - at MCE there wasn't much of a sense of ha-ha - My last job there believe it or not was to replace a mentally handicapped chap who acted as a storeman and quit because he couldn't hack them anymore. Did you know by the way this chappie was the key to that whole multi-million dollar mapping operation? he said "We need more of such and such map" and the powers-that-be ordered and printed them. The traveling around Canada making these maps and seeing where money was spent  didn't help me much maintain a sense of respect - did you know for example the government was paying rent for buildings that didn't exist and hadn't existed for decades? I asked the question.."ummm why?" and never ask that and expect to keep a job. I left in '85, went into forestry and geology, then agronomy and marriage to a rather beautiful Polish lady. Finally after one too many "He was in the army and he's a killer and I am afraid of him" scenarios", I took the family I was trying to support off to Poland. I teach English to teachers - the ultimate revenge... By the way - althoughI can't remember my current telephone number - even before drinking the potent brew here, i can still remember that Waincon and fellows like you! Some good times then.