I've been on the road today, and thus off the Net ...
my love my life said:
Goodness, I feel like I"m somewhat being attacked here. I won't answer your political question as to how I or my friends voted. I do not ask them as I feel your voting choice is a private matter.
Okay - so let me get this straight: It's not okay for anybody to ask you how you voted, but it's okay for you to ask ...
my love my life said:
... And I must ask Bossi - are you married? Your blanket statements that the families are well looked after tells me that perhaps you are not - otherwise I don't understand your not 'getting it' as far as the emotional toll all of these taskings are having on our families.
Hmmm ... and you feel like you're somewhat being attacked ... hmmm ...
And then you say ...
my love my life said:
... I strongly resent you inferring that I have my own agenda. Anyone that knows me and my commitment to our families would strongly argue with you on that point ...
But, I could have sworn you said something like ...
my love my life said:
... all I am trying to do is be a voice for those who don't feel they have one (military wives/partners). ...
Um, I dunno ... but, it sure sounds like you've got an agenda ...
Now, to address a number of discussion points:
1. It's none of your business whether my family life has suffered from military deployments, etc.
On one hand, personal experience can be very beneficial - on the other, sometimes people can't see the forest for the trees ...
(for example, are you going to accuse men of being insensitive a'holes because they've never personally experienced menopause/childbirth/post-partum depression/menopause themselves, or is it possible for an external observer to detect "raging hormones"?)
2. Some of the rhetoric in your posts here has been and destructive to the moral of the troops deploying, and their families. Therefore, I've replied with the sole purpose of countering incorrect or inflammatory insinuations which will further undermine morale.
3. Cold and uncaring? Far from it. I replied to your post out of compassion for the troops and their families. You, on the other hand, are stirring up the pot and evoking emotional responses - I notice several of my Army.ca friends have posted on this thread, and I can see their blood/stress levels rising - that pi$$es me off big time (and now I have to wash my mouth out with soap).
"Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals, he is unfit to command."
- Gen. Omar Bradley
4. You say:
my love my life said:
... I can' t tell you how many 'facts about the lifestyle' that spouses have shared with me over the many years of doing interviews that I know to be untrue. I was not only a military wife but I worked for the military as a secretary for many, many years and it just amazed me sometimes at how little some of the spouses know about the lifestyle and about their husband's trade. Working for the military certainly gave me a much better understanding of some of the day by day frustrations my husband and others dealt with and it gave me a much clearer picture of the military as a whole. ...
To which I'd reply "right back at ya." I'm seeing red right now, so I can't remember the exact word I'd like to use to describe your negativity and iconoclastic attitude as perceived in your posts. So, to back up a few steps ... the commanders, commanding officers, sergeant-majors, and soldiers all involved in this deployment of DART are faced with a difficult task, under difficult circumstances - they deserve better than to be stabbed in the backs, by having doubt and dissension sewn amongst their families.
Don't know how long they'll be deployed? Okay - so what? Is it better to lie, and say 40/90/180 days ... and then change it on a weekly basis? Or, is it better to be unequivocally honest from the outset and say "We are not 100% certain"? Hmmm ... to lie, or to tell the truth ... hmmm ...
Okay, and before I have an aneurysm ... I'll let you in on my agenda:
I'm not going to benefit from anything I've said here - in fact, I can imagine that I've only ticked some people off. However, I've waded in with one sole purpose - to set the record straight, and to try and avoid further undermining the precarious morale situation (deployed or otherwise).