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First i'd like to say this is my first post/topic and have not quite seen a thread to post under regarding my situation however if a mod feels this needs to be moved please by all means I would appreciate the proper location sorting.
FOREWARNING; This is a long first post that I feel to explain my background so I apologize in advance.
As of current in 2019; I am being processed for Armored Soldier - Crewman.
So to start, my name is Jaden. I am 24 years old. I first applied I believe back in 2014 and completed my aptitude test leading up to the medical/interview. I failed the medical at first majorly due to my eye vision was too horrendous not meeting corrected criteria.
My file was put in the vault since. July 14th, 2016 I got Custom Wavefront Lasik eye surgery to correct my vision.
In mid September 2019 I re-applied and got in contact with a file manager who was kind enough to retrieve my file from the vault and still hold my results from the aptitude test.
It was October 2nd 2019 I was provided the Pre-screening and needing to update my forms which I have as well needing to update medical. Upon mention of Lasik I was given medical forms for it.
My concern however that I would appreciate advise on and while I understand no one here can give me a definite solution so a non-professional opinion at least helps my mindset determine if my cause fought for is justified.
My past medical history was filled with depression, anxiety and a 'learning' disability that has adapted throughout my history. As a child I was originally diagnosed with non-verbal learning disorder at first and my parents' thought i'd be slower so I was put in 'special classes' not regular grades 1 - 9. I excelled at it with high honor marks. At grade 10 there was no accommodation for what I was academically taught and with my history they thought I was an honor student outright and put me in AP Grade 10. I failed. They put me regular grade 10, I failed.
Long story short in today's time I only have 46 Alberta high school credits. Not a graduate. However in February 2017 I got special accepted into Olds college despite not naturally meeting the math requirements. I graduated with honors and had minimal accommodation supports. My program was the "Race Horse Groom". 15 weeks living on-site.
More concern has been that during that 2017 I got an academic psychological assessment that deemed me with major depressive disorder with anxiety; As well other things such as a form of Autism spectrum disorder *Without Intellectual and learning Impairments*.
The full DSM-5 classifications I obtained in 2017 are as follows;
- 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder, Without accompanying intellectual impairment
- 314.01 ADHD, combined presentation
- 315.1 Specific Learning Disorder with Impairment in Math
- 300.02 Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- 296.22 Major Depressive disorder, With anxious distress.
The last two, GAD and Major depressive I do not believe to be accurately true. Even the Specific learning and ASD are questionably unsettled as I have very high functioning. I share these in confidence to give an idea to the readers my situation.
My problem is that throughout my childhood and life I was constantly faced with family abuse, belittlement and raised to believe I would never succeed in anything; that I would be nothing without disability support and just treated down and in chains shackling me. It has caused me to be stressed, anti-social and limit my behaviors to be online and away from society due to such family nonsense.
These behaviors, stress and issues caused me to not only show symptoms such as massive depressive (Not suicidal though I have no history of hospitalization nor attempts) as well in greatest regrets; my fear of not getting 'disability support' I acted out under mental stigma to purposefully try getting labelled just so I could get the aide. It was under pressure of family that without supports I would get nowhere. I had no confidence in myself due to such.
I've never stayed on medication. The last attempt was in 2018 for depression and it was maybe one week before I just stopped. I never believed I needed it. And I have been coping with my own logic, creativity and friendship networks that I forged. I didn't have full time therapy counseling after I was 18 years old. I had to experience the real world and got scattered across Canada. I ran from home several times. I visited the USA and to friends and met amazing people. I started to take control of my life and felt positive results in it.
Now since July 1st, 2019, I have been living on my own on a farm; I own (financed) my own used (2016) car, I have a horse and other lines of credit all managed. Debts, bills. responsibilities. Everything managed and up-kept. I've managed even when under government "Income Support" that at the past time deemed me barriers to full employment due to the past stress.
I've changed greatly since my freedom from family as well handling and coping with such stress to overcome and be successful. No one believed i'd graduate college in 2017. I have. No one believed i'd have a car or horse. I have both. In my family I am the only one with decent credit to get loans and financing. Bills have always been in my name even when living with my mother prior to July 2019.
The intensity of the stress situation i've lived in and overcame and coped with shows a determination and I do not do any drugs. I do not smoke. I do not drink. I've never once tried Marijuana despite my family recommending it. I forbid myself from giving in.
So to end the long background where I stand now today, October 23rd 2019 at 09:00 I first thing in the morning opening hours delivered the three medical papers required. The Psychological, the ADHD information and the laser eye vision information. I also provided a copy from my 2017 academic psychological assessment despite how much I disagree with it as even when my doctor with a specialist on Oct 22nd wrote and declared that the past diagnostic of Generalized Anxiety Disorder seems now "Questionable" due to stigma of situational controlled circumstances of that past when I was tested.
10:48 today Oct 23rd I received an email in quote:
[[ Good day Jaden
Thank you for your efforts with providing the FDLs and copies of your psychological assessment.
I would just like to caution you that although you are not currently on any medication, based on experience the issues mentioned on the form (GAD/depression, autism spectrum, ADHD), would very likely lean the RMO’s decision toward medically unfit. Although you are very high functioning in spite of these, and would not be an issue for most civilian jobs, military medical standards are higher due to the unique nature of its environment.
Normally, I give applicants the option of withdrawing their application or to continue processing their medical file as usual. However, in fairness since you have been very diligent about providing us with all the additional information, we will process your file in any case. The next step would be to book you in for a medical at some point, and you would be notified when this happens. After your medical, we will scan your entire file into our system and send it to the RMO (recruit medical officer) in Ottawa form review.
This process can take up to 6 month from this point forward.
Thank you ]]
It gives me hope yet concern at the same time. I do not believe myself any longer to be as low-cast I made myself out to be. That I tricked myself like a placebo affect to appease my family and others.
My fear now however is though I will not be given a chance to show. In all my studies for the CAF I understand the mental, physical and emotional challenges of not just BMQ, but the occupational training and day to day life.
It is the discipline, structure and way of life that I have needed and desire all my life. In just these few months I've taken leadership skills guiding and organizing the life of three new peers locally met. To pay bills and set foot in the right path working as a unit. I never before took charge and succeeded which surprises not only my doctor but family and peers also.
My doctor even said; "You are not the same man i've once known years ago."
To end the long post it leads to requested feedback. Is it even possible to appeal and pursue if I was denied by the RMO if my papers are glanced upon? I feel in my heart that unless either A), I am tested and diagnosed by the military themselves and deemed unfit OR I try or BMQ and fail after proven trial; only then would I feel able to accept I am unfit for military and can say I truly tried.
Anything less than those... And I feel a burning spark to show that I am fit and capable and willing. Even both a family doctor and a Psychiatrist as of Oct 22nd in person after interviewing, discussing and being evaluated gave me their best wishes in full heart support. The Psychiatrist who saw my file deemed at the time there is no hindrances from trying and wishes me well to attempt to pass BMQ and learn for myself if it is the path for me.
Is this foolish or admirable? Respectable or blinded? To pursue the dreams I believe in since a child and always valued the core virtues of Honor, Loyalty, Duty and teamwork? I've always excelled with teamwork. I can coordinate. I can learn and improve. I can control sensitivity and be determined. With no medicines, no active followup counseling or behavioral therapy I have only grown to succeed.
Now all I can do is wait and hope and wonder to myself that IF the RMO declines... Is there any possible chance to appeal? Should I even?
Thank you to all who read. As stated before I do not expect anyone to give any official/professional medical advise as every case is unique. I have applied. I am processing. By the sounds they will still process me to do the medical again THEN submit the file to the RMO... Then go for there.
I will likely keep updated on the process and what happens. Any feedback, opinion and view is appreciated.
FOREWARNING; This is a long first post that I feel to explain my background so I apologize in advance.
As of current in 2019; I am being processed for Armored Soldier - Crewman.
So to start, my name is Jaden. I am 24 years old. I first applied I believe back in 2014 and completed my aptitude test leading up to the medical/interview. I failed the medical at first majorly due to my eye vision was too horrendous not meeting corrected criteria.
My file was put in the vault since. July 14th, 2016 I got Custom Wavefront Lasik eye surgery to correct my vision.
In mid September 2019 I re-applied and got in contact with a file manager who was kind enough to retrieve my file from the vault and still hold my results from the aptitude test.
It was October 2nd 2019 I was provided the Pre-screening and needing to update my forms which I have as well needing to update medical. Upon mention of Lasik I was given medical forms for it.
My concern however that I would appreciate advise on and while I understand no one here can give me a definite solution so a non-professional opinion at least helps my mindset determine if my cause fought for is justified.
My past medical history was filled with depression, anxiety and a 'learning' disability that has adapted throughout my history. As a child I was originally diagnosed with non-verbal learning disorder at first and my parents' thought i'd be slower so I was put in 'special classes' not regular grades 1 - 9. I excelled at it with high honor marks. At grade 10 there was no accommodation for what I was academically taught and with my history they thought I was an honor student outright and put me in AP Grade 10. I failed. They put me regular grade 10, I failed.
Long story short in today's time I only have 46 Alberta high school credits. Not a graduate. However in February 2017 I got special accepted into Olds college despite not naturally meeting the math requirements. I graduated with honors and had minimal accommodation supports. My program was the "Race Horse Groom". 15 weeks living on-site.
More concern has been that during that 2017 I got an academic psychological assessment that deemed me with major depressive disorder with anxiety; As well other things such as a form of Autism spectrum disorder *Without Intellectual and learning Impairments*.
The full DSM-5 classifications I obtained in 2017 are as follows;
- 299.00 Autism Spectrum Disorder, Without accompanying intellectual impairment
- 314.01 ADHD, combined presentation
- 315.1 Specific Learning Disorder with Impairment in Math
- 300.02 Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- 296.22 Major Depressive disorder, With anxious distress.
The last two, GAD and Major depressive I do not believe to be accurately true. Even the Specific learning and ASD are questionably unsettled as I have very high functioning. I share these in confidence to give an idea to the readers my situation.
My problem is that throughout my childhood and life I was constantly faced with family abuse, belittlement and raised to believe I would never succeed in anything; that I would be nothing without disability support and just treated down and in chains shackling me. It has caused me to be stressed, anti-social and limit my behaviors to be online and away from society due to such family nonsense.
These behaviors, stress and issues caused me to not only show symptoms such as massive depressive (Not suicidal though I have no history of hospitalization nor attempts) as well in greatest regrets; my fear of not getting 'disability support' I acted out under mental stigma to purposefully try getting labelled just so I could get the aide. It was under pressure of family that without supports I would get nowhere. I had no confidence in myself due to such.
I've never stayed on medication. The last attempt was in 2018 for depression and it was maybe one week before I just stopped. I never believed I needed it. And I have been coping with my own logic, creativity and friendship networks that I forged. I didn't have full time therapy counseling after I was 18 years old. I had to experience the real world and got scattered across Canada. I ran from home several times. I visited the USA and to friends and met amazing people. I started to take control of my life and felt positive results in it.
Now since July 1st, 2019, I have been living on my own on a farm; I own (financed) my own used (2016) car, I have a horse and other lines of credit all managed. Debts, bills. responsibilities. Everything managed and up-kept. I've managed even when under government "Income Support" that at the past time deemed me barriers to full employment due to the past stress.
I've changed greatly since my freedom from family as well handling and coping with such stress to overcome and be successful. No one believed i'd graduate college in 2017. I have. No one believed i'd have a car or horse. I have both. In my family I am the only one with decent credit to get loans and financing. Bills have always been in my name even when living with my mother prior to July 2019.
The intensity of the stress situation i've lived in and overcame and coped with shows a determination and I do not do any drugs. I do not smoke. I do not drink. I've never once tried Marijuana despite my family recommending it. I forbid myself from giving in.
So to end the long background where I stand now today, October 23rd 2019 at 09:00 I first thing in the morning opening hours delivered the three medical papers required. The Psychological, the ADHD information and the laser eye vision information. I also provided a copy from my 2017 academic psychological assessment despite how much I disagree with it as even when my doctor with a specialist on Oct 22nd wrote and declared that the past diagnostic of Generalized Anxiety Disorder seems now "Questionable" due to stigma of situational controlled circumstances of that past when I was tested.
10:48 today Oct 23rd I received an email in quote:
[[ Good day Jaden
Thank you for your efforts with providing the FDLs and copies of your psychological assessment.
I would just like to caution you that although you are not currently on any medication, based on experience the issues mentioned on the form (GAD/depression, autism spectrum, ADHD), would very likely lean the RMO’s decision toward medically unfit. Although you are very high functioning in spite of these, and would not be an issue for most civilian jobs, military medical standards are higher due to the unique nature of its environment.
Normally, I give applicants the option of withdrawing their application or to continue processing their medical file as usual. However, in fairness since you have been very diligent about providing us with all the additional information, we will process your file in any case. The next step would be to book you in for a medical at some point, and you would be notified when this happens. After your medical, we will scan your entire file into our system and send it to the RMO (recruit medical officer) in Ottawa form review.
This process can take up to 6 month from this point forward.
Thank you ]]
It gives me hope yet concern at the same time. I do not believe myself any longer to be as low-cast I made myself out to be. That I tricked myself like a placebo affect to appease my family and others.
My fear now however is though I will not be given a chance to show. In all my studies for the CAF I understand the mental, physical and emotional challenges of not just BMQ, but the occupational training and day to day life.
It is the discipline, structure and way of life that I have needed and desire all my life. In just these few months I've taken leadership skills guiding and organizing the life of three new peers locally met. To pay bills and set foot in the right path working as a unit. I never before took charge and succeeded which surprises not only my doctor but family and peers also.
My doctor even said; "You are not the same man i've once known years ago."
To end the long post it leads to requested feedback. Is it even possible to appeal and pursue if I was denied by the RMO if my papers are glanced upon? I feel in my heart that unless either A), I am tested and diagnosed by the military themselves and deemed unfit OR I try or BMQ and fail after proven trial; only then would I feel able to accept I am unfit for military and can say I truly tried.
Anything less than those... And I feel a burning spark to show that I am fit and capable and willing. Even both a family doctor and a Psychiatrist as of Oct 22nd in person after interviewing, discussing and being evaluated gave me their best wishes in full heart support. The Psychiatrist who saw my file deemed at the time there is no hindrances from trying and wishes me well to attempt to pass BMQ and learn for myself if it is the path for me.
Is this foolish or admirable? Respectable or blinded? To pursue the dreams I believe in since a child and always valued the core virtues of Honor, Loyalty, Duty and teamwork? I've always excelled with teamwork. I can coordinate. I can learn and improve. I can control sensitivity and be determined. With no medicines, no active followup counseling or behavioral therapy I have only grown to succeed.
Now all I can do is wait and hope and wonder to myself that IF the RMO declines... Is there any possible chance to appeal? Should I even?
Thank you to all who read. As stated before I do not expect anyone to give any official/professional medical advise as every case is unique. I have applied. I am processing. By the sounds they will still process me to do the medical again THEN submit the file to the RMO... Then go for there.
I will likely keep updated on the process and what happens. Any feedback, opinion and view is appreciated.
