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I recently became engaged and with tour coming up in early 2010 I (we) decided it would be best to wait until the summer of 2011 to have a wedding. To do the wedding we want requires summer weather which we won’t see together again until 2011. Also, neither of us wants to rush it before tour as we are both quite busy. Her, with her final year of a degree, and me with work up.
However, lately my fiancé has become concerned that it would be more beneficial to be married before tour. This is not simply a money issue and includes several factors. I made few inquiries to my clerk as to what being married would mean to me and my fiancé and really didn't get a lot of answers. My fiancé on the other hand got in touch with the Petawawa Military Family Resource Centre as well as the Deployment Support Centre, who in turn, forwarded her to my chief clerk. Both the PMFRC and DSC were quite helpful, but seemed to have no concrete, and sometimes conflicting, answers. The chief clerk only said that she couldn't discuss anything with her and that I would have to talk to her. The clerk also mentioned that if I "did my paperwork right" we wouldn't need to be married to receive all the benefits. Since I met her while in the military, and despite living with her on weekends and leave, I believe we cannot claim common law status so that option is out.
A few of the issues we're wondering about:
• Separation pay: I was told by the clerk that I’d receive no separation pay since I was posted her well before being married. Other sources noted above stated separation pay would begin immediately after we are married regardless of the posting calendar.
• HLTA: Some sources have said HLTA only covers a set cost (i.e. the amount it would take to return to a next of kin’s residence or Petawawa). I could use that amount any way I wish, including paying for my fiancé to join me somewhere. On the other hand, I’ve been told that HLTA will cover the cost (limited I’m sure) to fly a family member, but not a fiancé, to my destination of choice.
• Family contact sheet and deployment support: Who is eligible for support from the DSC? My fiancé is scared to death of tour and would appreciate any support the system has to help her deal with it. Just not sure if a fiancé or “girlfriend” is eligible to the full benefits of the system.
• Medical/dental benefits: She graduates from university while I will be on tour and will lose the benefits she receives under her parents. I’m fairly sure she is in no way eligible unless we are married. What are the costs involved with adding someone?
• Primary Next of Kin: What would be the consequences of her becoming my PNoK whether we are married or not? Is a PKoK basically just a 1rst contact?
• Supplementary Death Benefits: Would my death benefits still go to the person I designated no matter how the situation changes. I wish to keep it as is and plan to deal with my will and life insurance separately.
Anyway, these are the main issues I can think of and it’s fairly frustrating to not be able to get any concrete answers. We don’t want to have a quickie marriage simply to cash in on a few bucks. She just wants to be treated as best as possible while I’m away and we would like to use HLTA as a honeymoon of sorts. That being said, we feel we have a strong relationship that is hindered by the military and believe we should be able to enjoy some of the benefits available to married couples that some take advantage of rather flippantly. This would not be an issue if it weren’t for tour as we would just be getting married next summer with little complication. We are just unsure which direction to go (i.e. having a winter wedding, not a great prospect with both of us extremely busy) and are having trouble getting straight answers to help us make a decision.
Anyone have any advice?
Thanks.
However, lately my fiancé has become concerned that it would be more beneficial to be married before tour. This is not simply a money issue and includes several factors. I made few inquiries to my clerk as to what being married would mean to me and my fiancé and really didn't get a lot of answers. My fiancé on the other hand got in touch with the Petawawa Military Family Resource Centre as well as the Deployment Support Centre, who in turn, forwarded her to my chief clerk. Both the PMFRC and DSC were quite helpful, but seemed to have no concrete, and sometimes conflicting, answers. The chief clerk only said that she couldn't discuss anything with her and that I would have to talk to her. The clerk also mentioned that if I "did my paperwork right" we wouldn't need to be married to receive all the benefits. Since I met her while in the military, and despite living with her on weekends and leave, I believe we cannot claim common law status so that option is out.
A few of the issues we're wondering about:
• Separation pay: I was told by the clerk that I’d receive no separation pay since I was posted her well before being married. Other sources noted above stated separation pay would begin immediately after we are married regardless of the posting calendar.
• HLTA: Some sources have said HLTA only covers a set cost (i.e. the amount it would take to return to a next of kin’s residence or Petawawa). I could use that amount any way I wish, including paying for my fiancé to join me somewhere. On the other hand, I’ve been told that HLTA will cover the cost (limited I’m sure) to fly a family member, but not a fiancé, to my destination of choice.
• Family contact sheet and deployment support: Who is eligible for support from the DSC? My fiancé is scared to death of tour and would appreciate any support the system has to help her deal with it. Just not sure if a fiancé or “girlfriend” is eligible to the full benefits of the system.
• Medical/dental benefits: She graduates from university while I will be on tour and will lose the benefits she receives under her parents. I’m fairly sure she is in no way eligible unless we are married. What are the costs involved with adding someone?
• Primary Next of Kin: What would be the consequences of her becoming my PNoK whether we are married or not? Is a PKoK basically just a 1rst contact?
• Supplementary Death Benefits: Would my death benefits still go to the person I designated no matter how the situation changes. I wish to keep it as is and plan to deal with my will and life insurance separately.
Anyway, these are the main issues I can think of and it’s fairly frustrating to not be able to get any concrete answers. We don’t want to have a quickie marriage simply to cash in on a few bucks. She just wants to be treated as best as possible while I’m away and we would like to use HLTA as a honeymoon of sorts. That being said, we feel we have a strong relationship that is hindered by the military and believe we should be able to enjoy some of the benefits available to married couples that some take advantage of rather flippantly. This would not be an issue if it weren’t for tour as we would just be getting married next summer with little complication. We are just unsure which direction to go (i.e. having a winter wedding, not a great prospect with both of us extremely busy) and are having trouble getting straight answers to help us make a decision.
Anyone have any advice?
Thanks.