Hello everyone this would be my first post, please excuse me for the long post, thank you. I applied for ROTP long time ago and got accepted. To best describe my self, I was a nerd during high school. I've never participated in any athletic events nor did anything along the line that required leadership, or ever had a job. However, my marks in high school were really high and I got accepted into RMC's Engineering as a Signals Officer. At the time I had no interest at all in the military, I just wanted education, and RMC sounded pretty cool. I went to IAP and of course, I struggled. I was last in platoon in nearly everything, and I had absolutely no interest in weapons, combat and such (the only thing I enjoyed was drills). I never ran more than a mile before IAP, however, during the 6k runs in the morning, I would NEVER drop out. During the last weeks at Farnham I failed at Grizzly first time with an 18, second time with a 20, and third time with a 17. Although I was satisfied to know that I was not meant to be a soldier and should stay where I was, I was really bothered to know that some of the people less competent than me have passed and moved on to RMC. I went to PRB and they convinced me that I was not going to get recoursed. However, the officer that interviewed me for PRB have told me one thing: “If in two years, you see yourself more mature and still want to do this, you can reapply.” At the time I thought I can care less, I was a civilian and I was free to do anything I wanted. Since I was released on 24 of September, and my classes already started 2 weeks ago, I thought that I work for the Semester and apply for Universities next year, but no, my parents already registered for my backup plan and sent me to University of Waterloo’s Bioinformatics program. I could’ve done well, but I had no desire in applying myself after and played video games with friends there and failed courses. After that my parents gave up hope on me and I began working as a heavy physical laborer. This is the first time I ever worked; the work environment was like hell. I made a decent $14 an hour but I barely made it through the days with 12 hours and 2 breaks. I had no option of quitting as I had loans to pay back. After about a week or so, I started getting used to the job and 60lb and 70lb of non stop carrying didn’t seem as bad as it was at first. At this point all the things I did at IAP seemed like a joke. Although I got used to the physical aspect of the job, it was very mentally degrading. I was treated like an idiot, since I had no education. I also felt horrible, since I had so many hopes for my future. I felt very stupid of letting 2 wonderful opportunities slip by. I loved sciences, and I felt that my life was incomplete without education… I applied and got accepted to part-time studies at a lower level institute of Ryerson University in Computer Engineering right now I’m still first year. I am doing very well in my studies and I am on my way of finding a better future. However, since I left IAP, I really miss the military style of life. When ever I see a man in the CADPATs I would turn around and curse myself for what I’ve done. These days, I read about military, I dream about military, I know for sure that no matter what this is what I wanted to do for my future. I’ve gained new perspective of life and can say that I’ve matured a whole lot since than. I volunteer as a Computers Instructor, and I frequently go to the gym. However, I know after I graduate from University, I doubt I would want to stay civilian. To me, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, prouder than serving this country. I also REALLY want to go to RMC if possible, but I don’t think RMC would accept me easily again, because of an academic scar. I did hear about a CMR reopening recently, if that is a way of proving my academic competence, then so be it. However, I didn’t think that I could convince any recruiter that after Failure of IAP AND failing courses at University made me a better person. However, I did learn a lot of things, and learned a lot of hard ships. Hell, I was even homeless for sometime when my parents gave up on me and kicked me out of the house. I know that if I went back no matter what I would give my 100%, because I would do everything with great interest and pride rather than my arrogance and stupidity back than. Does anyone see any options for me? Is it even possible for me to reapply for the forces and go to CMR? Thanks.